Would this irk you just slightly? Or not bother you in the least?

[IfAIBUthensobeit]

Utterly trivial AIBU, I am not seeting or cross, or even mildly annoyed. More, I am wondering if I should be wondering this or have forgotten about altogether.

A good friend had a joint birthday party for her DC recently. Their birthdays are about 4 weeks apart and I asked her if they'd prefer their gifts at the parties or on their birthdays. She said their birthdays so that's what I did.

The second DC (the DD) had her birthday about 3 weeks after the party. Straight after the party I was given a card that said "thanks for coming to our party, DS loves his present and I know DD will love hers too".

All well and good really, nothing to complain about there.

BUT - I gave the DD her present a few days before her birthday and I have heard nothing from her parents about it since. I know small children get lots of presents blah blah blah but I've seen the Mum quite a few times since and had absolutely no mention whatsoever of the gift, no acknowledgement of it whatsoever. Apart from the mention of it before it was given.

I'm not expecting gushing praise or whatever just a text "thanks for the gift, DD loved it".

Now I'm left wondering if they've even opened it.

OK, I read that back, I think I'm probably BU!

I agree, some acknowledgement is nice. I am a bit obsessive about follow up thank yous for presents but also meals, weekend visits, cards, etc, even if it's a text or something (although I often send cards - perhaps I'm a bit OTT!). I'm been offended in the past when an expensive wedding present was never mentioned - did cross my mind they hadn't received it, but then left it too late to ask! Kindness/effort should be recognised.

I think it's plain old bad manners to not say thank you in some way.

Those who say "I don't give to be thanked" etc. presumably don't bother to ensure your own children thank people either then? Because you must be thinking that people who give gifts to your children also don't feel the need to be thanked? Or is that a different set of rules?

Quite simply, it's rude not to even acknowledge a gift.

And I agree notletting - we have given expensive wedding gifts (from one of those bloody lists ) and never even received a verbal thank you!

Rude.

JollyGoodShow - yes, I do. I'm not saying forever, but the day after the event it would have been nice to have had it acknowledged. I know this is a whole other thread but we have always done thank you cards and notes. To not get any acknowledgement of five parcels sent is just rude.

I am firmly in your camp, NotLetting, when it comes to thank you's - and I've also had the no thank you for wedding presents. Awkward and embarrassing.

Of course gifts should be acknowledged, good manners. But gifts should be given graciously and with no strings attached. So no expectation of acknowledgement. Or don't give.

And to be truthful, I know that gift giving in my case isn't always altruistic. Except when buying for my dad. Six pairs of black socks gives me very little warm fuzzy feeling to buy and wrap! But it's what he wanted!

i hate when people put the presents away, part of the joy of buying a gift (for me, sad i know) i seeing children open them

As a child I always sent thank you letters or thanked people who were local in person. especially as family particuarly were far spread. And my little boy will be doing the same.

Also, when I had joint birthday parties I would be allowed to open birthday presents received that day (from friends) on that day. Otherwise you're just a child attending a party. Opening presents is no different p blowing out the candles on a cake.

Obviously family presents/cards would be on the birthday itself.

this happended to me just ask them!!!! and next time dont bother

Rude to not say thank you when the gift was given. I don't even understand how people can do that, thank yous just pour out of my mouth naturally, even at times when I don't really have anything to say thank you for.

I wouldn't worry about a thank you after that though.

YABU, small children can't write thank you cards, parents of small children have a million and one things going on. This mum has done her best by trying to write thank you cards at the same time even if it was wrong she has acknowledged you and done her best, let it go.

The thank you card thing really pisses me off, it's nice to get one but really its just another pressure it's not something i ever expect when i give a present, would much rather the parents had the child say thanks to me.

it wouldn't bother me at all. you got a thank you, albeit in advance. at some stage I'm sure it will come up in conversation. maybe your friend was distracted when you handed it over - no big deal IMO.

If I'd spent time & effort buying a gift, I'd want a bit of acknowledgement - but I'm also aware that I shouldn't want that!!! Giving a gift should be about exactly that - just giving something. Receiving the gift should be about acknowledging the time someone spent & having the courtesy to say thank you. However, kids birthday presents are very rarely about genuinely giving or genuinely receiving. They are a tedious pain in the backside. All the parents, think "Bollox, got to get yet another b'day present for 3/4/5 yr old, I have no spare cash, so it'll have to be less than £5" and all the parents of said birthday child think "Shit, 30 pieces of clutter, that I have to try & remember to thank people for"!!!!!!