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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To walk into work tomorrow and.........

55 replies

Signet2012 · 04/10/2011 23:55

Pack up my pens, my highlighters, papers and odds and sounds. Phone the director and call him a twat. Call my boss a twat

then send a "all" email telling them all to fuck off? go and get an icecream and lay on the settee for the rest of my life?

OP posts:

BoffinMum · 05/10/2011 14:26

I sort of did this. Packed up my entire large office in disgust and went home. Apparently it freaked them out ....

Marymoo73 · 05/10/2011 14:27

:) Now here I am not looking particulary professional, snorting with laughter whilst trying to appear "focused" at work. Your post has made my day, although I would add I'd probably smack my boss round the head with his laptop before leaving, just so the twat gets the message.....

BoffinMum · 05/10/2011 14:44

I think a Mr Whippy straight into the boss's face would be a lot better. It's assault, but too funny to report to the police.

enjoyingscience · 05/10/2011 14:46

ooh, me too. I often draft imaginary 'fuck the lot of you' e-mails which I will never really send to all staff when I quit and run off into the sunset (holding an ice cream and bottle of gin, obviously)

Alternatively, you could try the trick of getting a co-worker to swear blind you never worked there at all, like I did when i quit my shop job age 14. (the wages of £1.50 an hour didn't cover the bus fares, and the shame of being made to follow every customer under the age of 40 around in case they were shop lifters was too much to take)

BoffinMum · 05/10/2011 14:48

Imagine when you got a letter asking why you were not in work, threatening formal disciplinary processes and so on, and you replied saying you don't know what they are on about, you are actually a male gas fitter and they must have the wrong person. That would stump them.

ineedabodytransplant · 06/10/2011 12:29

I did this at the last company I worked for, before getting the job I have now.

Had left a company after 18 years to work for a smaller company. One of the directors is my eldest daughters godfather although we lost touch a long time ago.

Worked there for three months, hated every minute as the job was not as offered.

The final Monday I went into the office, and after 30 minutes thought'I can't do this anymore'. Changed my email office message to advise customers to go somewhere else, walked into the bosses office, dropped the car ketys in his coffee and told him to fucking stuff his crappy job. Had changed the pasword on the laptop and mobile as well.

Didn't have another job to go to but worried about that later.

Best decision I have ever made (apart from seperating from stbxw of course)

Got another job within 3 days and now have the best job I have ever had in nearly 40 years of employment

Georgimama · 06/10/2011 12:37

Without the swearing I've done this twice. First time I didn't have another job to go to but had had enough of the boss's bullying do during our regular bullying, I mean performance management session one Friday I just said "you know what, I don't think this is ever going to work. I am doing absolutely my best and am every bit as capable as everyone else in this team but you won't ever see it. You'll have my resignation on your desk in an hour." and walked out of the meeting, went back to my desk and typed a resignation. My master stroke was handing it to her boss not her. Our exit interview was fun - I shafted her. A few months later and I heard she wasn't working there anymore.

Second time in similar circs the boss managed to convince me to stay by offering me more money to do less work. She left shortly afterwards too in mysterious circumstances.

Georgimama · 06/10/2011 12:39

I would like to nominate "autistic meltdowns have their uses" for funniest post of the week.

GumballCharm · 06/10/2011 12:40

YANBU

I dream of living an incredibly narrow life...eating junk food and watching reality tv all the time.

I would grow fat and wear strange fleecy "housedresses" and have too many cats.

I think this is what retirement is for.

TooManyBlossoms · 06/10/2011 12:40

I worked in a huge call centre for a well known phone company. I managed to stick it out for 6 looooong years while a single parent with a small child, then doing a degree at university.

The final straw came when I asked to change my shifts so I could attend a lecture at uni and was told no, and to get my priorities in order.

Rather than giving notice, I completed my shift, and each time a customer was rude to me, I arranged to disconnect their line on a random date in the future. Immature, yes incredibly, but rather satisfying all the same...

Pandemoniaa · 06/10/2011 12:41

I'm self-employed and find myself an increasingly unreasonable employer. So I've just told myself to fuck off and I plan to escape into town for buttered scones and a nice pot of Assam.

Georgimama · 06/10/2011 12:41

I like your style blossoms. Sinister though. Will try never to piss you off.

TooManyBlossoms · 06/10/2011 12:43

Georgimama maybe I shouldn't tell you I'm about to qualify as a nurse

themightyskim · 06/10/2011 12:43

I would KILL to do this right now especially the email to the bitchy backstabbing shit heads I work with. Bloody life and its financial commitments ruin all the fun in life

iklboo · 06/10/2011 12:48

I'd love to buy a narrow boat, home-ed DC and sell my cakes etc at farmers' markets when we moored up [sigh]

Pakdooik · 06/10/2011 12:55

Pandemonia I'm self employed too - perhaps we should form a club and tell each other to sod off. Just to get it out of our systems

LydiaWickham · 06/10/2011 13:01

Also wish to do this reguarly. Thankfully, I am now off until a week on Monday (holiday allowance that apparently I can't carry over to next year), or else after last week, I might have just walked - the moment I really wanted to walk out was while staying late on Monday night as my boss basically hadn't done his homework over the weekend and needed me to work on a report for him (meaning I missed DS's bathtime ) he started going mental at me in front of a load of colleagues for losing the orginals of something that I was sure I'd given him back. Tuesday morning he quietly informs me he'd found them, when asked where, it was in his laptop bag. No apology, and still with a tone of voice that made out like it was still my fault....

Must remember to buy a euromillions ticket...

Pandemoniaa · 06/10/2011 13:04

Like it Pakdooik. Could be a grand plan!

mistlethrush · 06/10/2011 13:09

Lydia - you must remember that so that next time he shouts at you for losing something you can ask him 'have you looked in your laptop bag because that's where you found things the last time you accused me of losing something'.

BoffinMum · 06/10/2011 15:19

I have been known to accuse people of doing a 'man look' and not ferretting about properly. But then I have problems with managing up generally.

SickleBOO · 06/10/2011 17:43

I had a Scrubs style head fantasy of tipping my mug of tomato soup over the head if a particularly back-stabby colleague today. In the end, hunger saved her from a Heinz shampoo.

JamieComeHome · 06/10/2011 17:48

The ice cream would melt pretty quickly, especially if you've got the central heating on. So, you might want to prepare yourself for a very sticky mess if you are staying on the sofa for the rest of your life.

Also, remember to turn regularly to avoid pressure sores.

I once yelled at a colleague in front of a packed waiting room. Told him he 8no idea the effect his ineptitude had on the rest of us

Original poster

Signet2012 · 06/10/2011 23:25

Well Im still employed but have had the giggles rereading these posts!

Hilarious!

Hope I get the balls/am rich enough to not give a shit/pregnant one day :D

OP posts:

Hatesponge · 06/10/2011 23:33

I very much want to do this at work. Every morning I come in and my colleage and I say to each other 'here goes another shit day at work'. And it usually is.

The temptation to hand in my 3 months notice is getting stronger. The only thing keeping me there is my stupidly large mortgage. although if I sold my house I'd have enough for a caravan

Hatesponge · 06/10/2011 23:33

colleague even!

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