Banks calling me by my first name

[sun1234]

I just got an email from my credit card company addressing me by my first name. I don't like it. What's wrong with Mrs Sun?

In my head its desirable to have work colleagues and other people who know me use my first name. I am happy that the physiotherapist I see uses my first name and I wouldn't mind if the teachers or school secretaries did it too. Just not credit card companies, banks or other financial institutions (and not the council either). Come to think of it, I don't like it with people representing official bodies who I don't know.

AIBU or am I just getting old?

Reply to them calling them Banky Baby

"Polite" - that's the word I've been struggling to find. Thank you NatashaBee.

I think banks etc should wait to be invited to use my first name (and they will wait a long time). To do otherwise is impolite. I don't mind that call centre staff always give their first name - I assume that its only pseudonym anyway (unless "Doris" and "Gloria" really are common names in Delhi?) Giving their first name is their choice, but I prefer Mrs Sun.

I am moving country though if banks start putting hugs or kisses or their letters to me!

My Dad used to comment when watching Casualty and other such programmes, when the docs and nurses would shout at the patient, slipping in and out of consciousness, "Mike, Mike, can you hear me?", "if I am ever in that situation I will say, " yes I can hear you and it's Mr Krankie thank you very much"". Always made me laugh. Difficult one in a healthcare context I suppose, some people would find being called by their first name reassuring, others might think respect and dignity doubly important when you are in an inherently undignified and vulnerable position.

Quite apart from whether it is polite or not, I would be concerned as to whether the email was genuine.

I have a feeling that credit card companies don't generally email their customers and am not sure that it is usual to address anyone in such a familiar manner. I would contact your credit card company by phone and check that they did actually send this email.

I quite enjoy being icily polite hanging up on scammers on the phone - I always know it's someone with a list because they ask for Mrs Pidjin.

"Sorry, no one's married in this house"

I had one phone back and ask for Mr Pidjin

"No one of that name here"

My bank know my marital status, it's on my card!

YANBU. In fact I think I prefer Mrs Mardy to my real name. Maybe I should change by deed poll.

YANBU. I can't stand this. I particularly hate it from Drs./nurses etc where there is a clear convention that they will be called Dr.X or nurse X

YANBU.

I was once called "Young Lady" by someone trying to sell me gas or some such like. I gave him the sharp end of my tongue, along with the man who called "Miss! Miss!" whilst trying to attract my attention to his charity. I pointed out that I was pushing a pushchair and was 26, so Madam was more appropriate thank you. And gave him a swipe with my reticule.

I disagree. I hate it when you call any kind of call centre and they say, "Is that Mrs or Miss Bennet?" I say, "It's Ms", so they say, "Alright Miss Bennet", I say, "No, it's MS, M S", then a perplexed silence usually follows. I have never been Miss Bennet, it's my married name, but I'm not a fan of Mrs, Ms is the equivalent to Mr is my view. My point is, if they use my first name then the Mrs/Miss/Ms exchange is avoided and I end up much less irritated.

YANBU.

The woman in Lloyds took the piss out of my surname yesterday. Stupid fucker.

I'm just happy if I can understand what the other bugger is saying on the phone!

My husband is Doc Kaka. It drives him mad when he gets called Dr Kaka. It also drives him mad when he gets called on when someone is taken sick on aeroplanes. He's like 'the guy is having a heart attack, how is me building a nuclear reactor going to help?'. :o

YANBU, Virgin Media always do this too - though I am not brave enough to correct them and ask be addressed as Mrs.

I don't mind ,it is my name after all

I hate it when they go to the bother of asking what your title is then call you some other random title. I want to scream at them why did you bother asking then?

Another thing that annoys me occured last week. In the bank, teller called me Miss 273. She was quite uppity all through the transaction. Near the end I pointed out it was Mrs 273 and her tone changed. It was like I suddenly deserved civility whereas I think all customers deserve civility.

I work in a job where sometimes we get real arseholes calling us or coming into the workplace. Sometimes the familiarity of using their first name can help calm situations.

This is really not a very important issue, no one will intend disrespect with whatever title they use to address you.

I am old fashioned and I would rather official bodies called me Mrs Fiesta.

I am not Nesta unless I am your friend, relation or colleague (or on Mumsnet :)). I am lovely when you get to know me, but let's not pretend we're best mates when you are selling me personal loans and credit cards.

Why would someone think that being a Mrs would deserve more civility

Usual- I don't think it's about whether you're married or a Ms, Miss or Mrs, it's just this trend for matey-ness from institutions etc. That's how I see it anyway. Prior to being married I still preferred to be known as Miss Lovely rather than just Nesta.

I was referring to Minus273 s post

I can't see why someone would be more polite to a Mrs than a Miss

karma if he was your manager then erm, yep, he was more important than you WTF? No-one is more important than anyone else. What is this, Upstairs Downstairs when people spoke differently according to who they were speaking to? Jeez.

Quakers use both names in written correspondence - Dear Pippa Andpolly for example, and I really like it. I think it's because they're saying that your title is irrelevant - everyone gets the same level of respect.

YANBU. It's nice to have a difference between formality from people you don't know, and being on first-name-terms with those you know better.

YANBU I hate hate hate this,particularly on cold call. Phone rings > Me then they launch into their spiel, makes me incandescent as I have no desire to be called by my first name by someone I don't know and I do not wish to make small talk to someone who is trying to sell me a service.