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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How often can someone go to the pub normally?

40 replies

ButterAndPie · 03/10/2011 21:15

I mean a parent, not a normal person.

If the other parent is at home and doesn't work, and the working parent gets up and shares school getting ready and school run, then starts work in the afternoon until 7pm. How many times a week would it be ok to "nip for a pint" with the people from work after work?

How long does "nipping for a pint" take? Is the at home parent allowed to ask where the working parent is, or is that nagging? Is working in a shop stressful enough to use the "well, what do you think working mens clubs are for? The miners all did it" excuse?

Do Geordies have the ability to turn any conversation to miners, coal or bridges?

Etc.

Sigh.

OP posts:

UniS · 03/10/2011 22:45

see what you mean manic- doesn't bother me tho. the later on a friday crowd in this village are teh ones I know best to chat to so if I did go up early I'd only have DHs mates or assorted eldery farmers/ builders to chat with.

manicbmc · 03/10/2011 22:49

I used to go out with a group of friends and I felt terrible that it was always me they were waiting for. I could be ready for an hour before he would turn up to let me go out.

Dexifehatz · 03/10/2011 23:25

Once you hit three kids;forget it.

garlicScaresVampires · 03/10/2011 23:54

Yes, Geordies can turn any conversation to miners, coal or bridges. In the unlikely event they get bored with bridges, they fall back on ship-building and dogshit. Some people fail to realise that Viz is, in fact, an accurate depiction of life in the Toon

A pint after work, or even two, is a long-standing British tradition of course. It/they should take no more than an hour to drink; maybe add ten minutes for a pee and a final go on the quiz. If you've got a family at home, any more than that is dysfunctional. Shelf-stackers don't even have the excuse of "networking" so it's purely social: he needs to get a balance between Lad Life and Dad life.

Staring into his pint isn't even socialising. There are hints of a drink problem here, missus, which shows signs of morphing into the full Andy Capp lifestyle going by some of your other comments. He doesn't sound irretrievable yet, though - you're going to need a Proper Talk, a Rant and possibly a rocket in his keks.

What's the potential for taking the kids down the pub, too? Is it child-friendly?

LineRunner · 04/10/2011 00:13

Ooh yes, Geordies still bang on about the miners. My circle of friends in god's country also have penchant for Hadrian's Wall. We can name all the forts, and everything.

I agree with garlic. If you've got family, an hour after work on a weekday is max.

Friday might be an exception. Saturday he takes you out.

I've done canvassing! Have you been sworn at much, yet?!

MumblingRagDoll · 04/10/2011 00:24

I think no more than 2 times....in the week...3 at a PUSH. Weekends are for family...one night is ok to go out alone....of course it can vary....but roughly.

iscream · 04/10/2011 01:19

Do the majority of people in the UK frequent pubs regularly? If so, what is regular? Are there more men than women, or equal?

iscream · 04/10/2011 01:28

Sorry OP. Here is my reply.

How long does "nipping for a pint" take? 45 minutes tops Is the at home parent allowed to ask where the working parent is,Yes or is that nagging?No

Is working in a shop stressful enough to use the "well, what do you think working mens clubs are for? The miners all did it" excuse? No, and to compare it to what people did many years ago is ridiculous, we have evolved from those uneducated and un-liberated days

When the working parent gets home after two or three hours of pub, are they allowed to moan that, after feeding, washing and putting to bed two under fives, the home parent went on mumsnet and twitter, instead of immediately putting the days clothes in the washing machine? No How about if the kids only actually went to sleep at 9pm? No, they are not your boss, you are your own boss and can do what you like in your spare time, especially since your partner does what he likes with his

Do Geordies have the ability to turn any conversation to miners, coal or bridges? I do not know any Geordies, so can't say, but it sounds kinda funny

Etc.

Sigh.

I'm not overly annoyed with him, tbh I would have probably been sat on the computer anyway, but it is just so...disheartening. I miss being able to just nip for a pint with friends so much, but I can't work for health reasons, and most of the friends I do have around here have kids themselves. So I couldn't really do what he does anyway, but... I don't even know why I am annoyed...
You work raising a family, and you should go out if you like, your partner should be sharing any spending money as well as free time when he is off work, with you.

garlicScaresVampires · 04/10/2011 01:36

Iscream - Pub attendance has been dropping sharply. 20 years ago there was at least one pub to every community, even small villages. This is no longer the case and the industry's in something of a crisis. Pubs are the traditional centres of British community life; the decline in custom parallels increasing problems of isolation & fragmentation within communities.

The decline seems to have been prompted by stricter drink-driving laws and the smoking ban. Although only 25% of Brits still smoke, everyone stopped going to the pub when the ban was introduced and many stayed home after quitting the weed.

Pub clientèle has always been predominantly male, but not markedly so since the 1970s/80s.

In a 2010 study, one in three consumers told market analysts, Mintel, they felt it important to have a pub nearby, but only 17 per cent said pubs are a regular part of their life.

There's a BBC History page on the pub here.

piprabbit · 04/10/2011 01:43

What is this 'pub' of which you speak?

I have vague memories of laughter in a crowded, beery room with sticky carpets - but they are no more than a distant dream.

sunnydelight · 04/10/2011 02:06

I think a couple of times a week for a pint would be reasonable unless you can join him. In return he should make sure you get a couple of hours to yourself. I think not giving each other a similar amount of personal time is one of the biggest bones of contention in relationships.

iscream · 04/10/2011 03:08

Thank-you garlic.

WorzselMummage · 04/10/2011 03:39

A couple of times a week for an hour or so is fine, every night till 9 or 10 is taking the piss.

You are not being unreasonable or overbearing. At all.

Moshiii · 15/06/2021 11:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JorisBonson · 15/06/2021 11:15

@Moshiii you're ressurected a 10 year old thread. You'd do better to make your own.

(FWIW he sounds like a complete tosser and I'd be slinging him out the door quicker than he could fart).

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