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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Taking a stand against hate towards and exploitation of premature children and their families.

56 replies

Agix · 03/10/2011 18:36

Hello there Mumsnet. We hope to find you all well!

We are writing this post today to raise awareness of an issue that has popped up. We feel it is incredibly important to spread the word. I'll give you a run down.

A famous YouTube personality (male) is currently in a relationship with a Canadian teenage pop singer (female). This teenage girl, the pop singer, recently posted a photo of a premature child, insinuating it was her male child, and that he had tragically died as a result of premature birth. Hundreds (maybe hundreds of thousands considering the size of their combined fanbases) of people saw this. However, it was soon found out that this child was not hers - and (thankfully) not deceased. The photo had infact been taken (WITHOUT PERMISSION OR KNOWLEDGE) from another mother on the internet, of her little baby girl, for the purpose of lying and garnering attention/sympathy towards the pop singer/the couple.

Now, of course, famous people pull silly stunts all the time. However, the fact that this picture was taken without permission and extremely unrespectfully declared the innocent baby dead caused many, many people to try and get an apology for the act, specifically for the mother of the child and the child herself (who is alive and well at four years old).

Shockingly, while the pop singer has kept quiet apart from very cruel posts about this situation (including calling anyone who questions her about this 'cs and b**s') and is being protected by her partner, her parter has posted videos on his YouTube channel denying it ever happened, while at the same time forcefully insulting mothers of premature children and being extremely abusive. I short, they are trying to avoid responsibility, giving an apology and bullying mothers all over the world into submission and to 'keep quiet'.

We, as a large group of people who want to speak up about this, feel that this is entirely unreasonable - especially considering their fanbases are made up of very impressionable young teenagers. We want to spread the word to see if people agree with us that this is awful behaviour, the cover up is disgusting, and we will NOT be abused into submission just because they are 'famous', 'protected' and we mothers are not.

Here is his video on the subject after he recieved emails from angry mothers (Please keep in mind both these videos have STRONG abusive language aimed towards mothers, and offensive body language).

Just to clarify, he is lying. The photo was up for about a month before it was found out to be a lie. He is in full knowledge of this stunt. This has all been proven with the help of people who are 'tech savvy'. He is trying to cover his tracks. He knows everyone knows, this video is solely made for the purpose of using bullying tactics to keep people quiet. This is his half-assed apology for how abusive he was to mothers of premature children in that previous video: As you can see, not an apology at all.

This is a very brave mother of a premature child who is speaking out publicly, acting out as spokes person for the rest of us. She is not famous. She is not a YouTube star. She is "just" a mother.

If any of you feel strongly about this, we would very much appreciate it if those of you with Youtube accounts can give this mother support as our spokesperson. We understand some of you may not feel so strongly. What are your thoughts on this?

The many, many of us offended by this do not feel we are being unreasable asking for an apology, standing up for ourselves, and trying to get rid of the cover up. We feel we are being entirely reasonable, but as mothers (and many, many other individuals) we are being bullied.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 03/10/2011 19:25

Do people really stoop this low? To write such a long post and link to viruses

Agix · 03/10/2011 19:42

The youtube links are the automated shortlinks that youtube.com gives you to share. They will not give you a virus.

If you do not feel strongly about this, then that is fair. It's not a localised "thing", however, as it involves hundreds of thousands of people and celebrities, and a cover up.

The photo was not stolen from Facebook. The photo was stolen from a preemie support blog that the mother had written, but I'm sure that does not void the point of the post mentioning this.

Again, if you do not feel strongly about this, then that is your right and I'm sure your reasons are legitimate. You probably have better things to do than worry about an issue such as this.

I am simply someone asked by hundreds of mothers/individuals to raise awareness for this issue. I am in no way affliated with any of the videos made, any of the people in the videos, or any of the people involved. I am just one of the people who volunteered to spread awareness, simply because I personally think it's an important issue and I had some extra internet time.

I understand if you wish to attack me personally, and if the forum rules allow you to do so then that is fine. But this is not just "me", I am pretty much a non-entity in this apart from volunteering to raise awareness to those who may feel strongly considering the nature of the issue, the influencial fanbase, the celebrity and the cover up.

I do not mind if you personally attack me. I am simply doing what I volunteered to do.

OP posts:
Agix · 03/10/2011 19:44

Again, I stress, those links will NOT give you a virus. They are the official shortlinks that youtube.com allows you to use so when you post a link to a youtube video, you are not posting a very long string of letters and numbers.

I hope my post will not be deleted solely because of this, but hopefully the moderators will recognise that the links are not viruses as they will know how youtube allows link sharing.

If this post is to be deleted for any other reason, then so be it. But that would be unfair, as the links are NOT viruses at all.

OP posts:
slavetofilofax · 03/10/2011 19:48

So explain some more then. Why are loads of people feeling exploited and bullied because of someone taking a picture off the internet.

Stealing a picture of someone's beloved baby and telling the world it is yours and it is dead is obviously a bad thing. But why has it turned into something that involves 'hundereds' and why does it need publicity?

TandB · 03/10/2011 19:49

I just did a quick google search and there are various posts about the shortened youtu.be link being used for virus purposes. It is indeed a genuine youtube shortener but hackers are also disguising viruses as these links.

I wouldn't risk it.

Oggy · 03/10/2011 19:49

No idea what all this stuff in OP is about, but when you share a youtube video it does provide a youtu.be link, so not convinced it's a virus.

Oggy · 03/10/2011 19:50

Kunfupanda - just read your post, thanks, never realised that. It does muddy the waters.

Hulababy · 03/10/2011 19:53

WARNING
The links are not normal you tube address if you look at them. Are they viruses? I wouldn't click just in case.

Hulababy · 03/10/2011 19:54

xposts - but I would still not take the risk as there is no way of checking.

TandB · 03/10/2011 19:59

There is also the fact that if you google this story, all that come up are gossip forums and youtube videos - no news stories or information on any high-profile sites.

Even if this did happen, it can hardly be taken as a symptom of some world-wide problem - people with premature babies are generally treated with sympathy and compassion. I certainly haven't seen any suggestion on MN that preemie parents are bullied or villified. If this story is true then it is a straightforward case of a couple of over-privileged idiots taking a picture that didn't belong to them and using it for selfish reasons. I don't see the need for a major campaign - it is for the parents to take action if appropriate.

Oggy · 03/10/2011 20:00

I guess if they are genuine then perhaps OP could provide an accurate search criteria that people could put into youtube themselves to bring the videos up in youtube?

I have no idea if this is a genuine cause for concern, but if anyone wants to look into it this sounds like a sensible way of finding the videos...

Agix · 03/10/2011 20:03

It has turned into an issue that involves hundreds because of the hundreds of thousands of people within the fanbase and circle of influence. Mainly, the nature of the fanbases of the two - young teenagers. I'll try to explain more.

At first people simply wanted an apology for the (very public) act, and requested such. Once they asked, however, there was a cover up. I personally believe (and these are just my words here, please understand I can only speak for all these people up to a 'point') that if it stopped here, less people would be angry although it is obviously a very bad thing. Unfortunately, the cover up involved a lot of abuse towards mothers, a lot of censorship of those speaking out for purposes of the two celebrities making money and their 'reputations'. The problems extended to the teenage fans harrassing people, and such behaviour being encouraged by the celebrities. It seems that quite a lot of mothers of these teenage fans are very angry also. If you feel safe clicking the videos, you can also see the message being sent to these people and the people trying to speak out.

About me personally, if it matters to you: I was simply a fan who knew this issue from the start, and then I saw the abusive videos. Once I saw those, I was shocked at how abusive this celebrity had gotten and why he was allowed to do that, and contacted the mother in the video replying asking for details. Once I had spoken to her and quite a few other people, I volunteered - along with others in the same situation as I - to spread awareness as I felt that this behaviour was out of line.

Spreading awareness is simply for people who feel that these actions are extremely wrong and feel something should be done. I'm sorry I cannot give you more than that, but again I am just a volunteer who agrees with the people trying to speak out. If you do not feel these actions are wrong, or they are not worth your time, then I am sorry for taking up your time.

And someone mentioned something about America - I am personally from the UK, although the celebrities are American, yes. This is not localised.

I feel I wont visit this discussion more, as my aim was to simply inform people who believe this to be an issue and want to support the people speaking out about it. My aim isnt to convince or bully anyone into agreeing. I understand it's human nature to shoot the messeger, but I do no feel I want to stick around for abuse when theres only so much I can personally tell you about this widespread issue. I stress, it's not localised, I am simply volunteering and therefore cannot tell you everything minute detail - I can only tell you what I volunteered to spread awareness for after seeing the effects with my own eyes.

OP posts:
Agix · 03/10/2011 20:06

Newspapers have been contacted by a few already (I am not affliated with them either) as well as media outlets. I apologise for articles not being up right now, but that is way out of my control.. I am honestly just someone who asked how she could help. I'm a young person from the UK who wanted to help as I personally felt this had gone out of line, and that the cover up was abusive and disrespectful.

Really, this is not localised. I am not god of this issue. I am simply doing what I volunteered to do and cannot give you information about who is speaking to the media or not..

I think I will go now. I'm sorry for wasting anyones time. I hope this post gets deleted if it is not fit for this forum, and sincerely apologise for my mistake..

OP posts:
ScarahStratton · 03/10/2011 20:07

You are one sick puppy if you're linking viruses.

RhinoKey · 03/10/2011 20:11

Im confused.

Agix · 03/10/2011 20:11

They are not viruses. They are official shortlinks from YouTube. You can find youtube shortlinks yourself underneath youtube videos, on the youtube website, in the same format that I have given them. You can find these official shortlinks on ANY youtube video so you can share videos without pasting a long series of numbers and letters. Youtube.com themselves provide these official (and safe) shortlinks so you can share videos.

You can check this our yourself by typing www.youtube.com in your url, clicking on any video, clicking the 'share' button under the video and viewing the short link it gives you, in the same format as the links I have posted in my main message. It is an official way from youtube to share videos with less hassle and shorter URLs.

I used short links instead of the long URLs to save space in my already long message.

Thank you.

OP posts:
fit2drop · 03/10/2011 20:13

so why can you not just give us the names of these celebs? If its so high profile Hmm

RumourOfAHurricane · 03/10/2011 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 03/10/2011 20:16

Just give the long links then.

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 03/10/2011 20:18

shineon - someone said it's a young singer called Shiloh, who has been a support act for Katy Perry, not sure who the man is.

What actor from Green Mile and his wife? What did they do?

RumourOfAHurricane · 03/10/2011 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PatriciaHolm · 03/10/2011 20:20

All this would seem to achieve is generate more publicity for them. Googling would appear to suggest the woman in question, at least, has some serious mental health issues, so I doubt engaging in some online flame war with her will achieve anything. The better solution would be to remove the oxygen of publicity from them, and hope her management team seeks help for her.

TandB · 03/10/2011 20:21

This is very weird. If this actually happened then it is unpleasant for those actually involved, but it is not a "widespread issue". A widespread issue would be a trend for pictures of premature babies to be downloaded and misused.

This strikes me as one of those things that gets far more coverage than it needs because of people jumping up and down to "raise awareness". There are probably more widespread and serious issues affecting families of premature babies that could use a little help if you really want to do something that actually makes a difference.

PenguinsAreThePoint · 03/10/2011 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PatriciaHolm · 03/10/2011 20:22

PS -it's not the pair Shiney is referring to. The bloke is 24, girl 17) Neither seem entirely stable.