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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to just want my children to get dressed?

28 replies

joshandjamie · 03/10/2011 16:37

Boys. Aged 7 and 6. They don't even have to get their sodding clothes out. I put them out because I've long since given up that battle. All they have to do is put their clothes on. But no. They fling them up in the air, twirl them around their heads taking each other's eyes out, climb on each other, pull their pants down and wiggle their bums in each other's faces, shriek and yell and fight.

Within 20 seconds of them getting to their clothes at least one of them will have manage to lose an item of clothing (due to flinging) and then yell and moan that they can't find whatever said item is.

Am I being completely unreasonable to ask them to simply get the fuck on with it???????

OP posts:
Popbiscuit · 03/10/2011 16:45

Nooooooooo YANBU but maybe a different choice of words? Grin. What you have described is exactly what goes on at my house. My daughter is worse though...20 minutes of deliberating over what to wear then changing her mind, then changing it again. It's lunchtime here and I've only just stopped having heart palpitations from the stress of getting everyone to school this morning!

monstersX2 · 03/10/2011 16:46

ynbu but i don't have any advice i'm afraid. Buti am slightly comforted that there are other boys like mine who mess about at dressing time! Although mine are 3 and 5 and have just realised it may go on for a while.... Hmm

GandTiceandaslice · 03/10/2011 16:48

My ds refuses to get dressed on the weekend if he isn't going anywhere.

I assume you're on about a school morning though.

Set an alarm, 1st one dressed gets a prize or something...

OR, send them up 1 at a time. That'll stop the fighting!

heather1 · 03/10/2011 16:49

Every morning it is a massive surprise to DS2 that he has to get dressed. Plus he is horrified about it. Drives me mad too.
No solutions to offer, other than threatening to send them in PJs. But my youngest would probably like it!

Mousey84 · 03/10/2011 16:50

I have to get DD (8) to get dressed in the bathroom - her bedroom has too many distractions.

Separate the boys and tell them its a race to see who can get dressed first. They get a star for being first, and whoever has the most stars on a friday wins amd gets to choose what dessert everyone has...?

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 03/10/2011 17:08

Once they've been delivered to school (on foot Grin ) in their pyjamas in full view of the whole playground once, they seem to learn how to get dressed really well, all by themselves Wink
(and yes I had the uniforms in a bag and explained all to the teacher and got them properly dressed in the cloackroom before lessons began before anyone goes Hmm at me)

sparkle12mar08 · 03/10/2011 17:08

Drag 'em out the door and down the street naked. They'll only ever do it the once, I promise!

sparkle12mar08 · 03/10/2011 17:09

PomBear Grin

Original poster
joshandjamie · 03/10/2011 17:13

Good tips - most of which I've tried including marching to school in pjs. Mornings are a nightmare but this particular rant was trying to get them dressed for swimming and soon it'll ne trying to get them dressed after swimming. Weep

OP posts:
LadyThumb · 03/10/2011 18:47

Set an alarm clock - if they're not dressed by the time it goes off then they don't get to go swimming. Do the same for school - and they go just as they are. They only test this out once, so don't give in!

thisisyesterday · 03/10/2011 19:24

my top tips are:

split them up. one gets dressed upstairs, one downstairs. minimise pissing about

tell them that if they get on with it they will have x amount of time to play before school.

and then keep reminding. but don't do it for them

i also tell ds1 that if he doesn't get dressed he can tell his teacher why he is late, and if he is in trouble for being late it's his own tough luck

bakeyouhappy · 03/10/2011 19:34

Ladythumb exactly

No reason to be emotional. Here are your clothes. Here is a timer. Not on, not going. Then carry on with your day like you don't care.

Original poster
joshandjamie · 03/10/2011 19:37

except they would relish not going to swimming! I promise, promise, promise I have tried all of the things you're suggesting. Sometimes I have a breakthrough and it works once. Next time, it's as though we're back to square one.

OP posts:
spottypancake · 03/10/2011 19:40

I get all the clothes ready the night before.

When kids are awake, I dress them, takes 30 seconds each. They are 5 and 3. I think there are better battles to be picked than getting dressed. Nobody reaches their teenage years unable to get dressed. Eldest has to get undressed for PE and swimming at school and does this quickly as teacher usually makes it a race.

zukiecat · 03/10/2011 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 03/10/2011 20:24

Mine are exactly the same OP - flinging, fighting, twirling etc. etc.

I have, however, solved the problem. I have got myself a job which means I need to leave the house at 7.30, before they need to be dressed.

If anyone has a solution I'm sure my husband would be very glad to hear it!

moogalicious · 03/10/2011 20:30

Clothes out the night before.

Separate rooms.

Much shouting from me.

To be honest my 4 and 6 year old get dressed really nicely. It's the eldest, who is nearly 9 and has to out the earliest, who takes the longest. And there's no way I'm dressing a 9 year old!

moogalicious · 03/10/2011 20:31

be out

LadyWord · 03/10/2011 20:40

I have one 6yo who can't be arsed to get dressed, gets distracted, loses things, wanders off etc etc and one 18-month-old who point blank refuses to be helped and screams the house down if you try. Mornings are great in our house.

If necessary I will use outright bribery - only works on the 6yo but that's what you have. Get a chocolate button/other bribe - one each in your case - put them in full view and set an alarm/time on clock. They have to be dressed and ready in the set time then they get the treat. If not (this is the best bit) you eat it in front of them.

mwah-ha-ha-ha-haaaa

bintofbohemia · 03/10/2011 20:46

Rofl @OP- I have 3 and 5 year old boys and they are exactly the same. Many mornings I have to stand over DS1 and count to ten. I have no idea what I'd ever do if I got to ten. Could live without having to be sergeant major bitch first thing in the morning so it's not reassuring to hear they don't outgrow it...

youarekidding · 03/10/2011 20:54

YANBU. My 7yo DS is an only and he is just as bad.

I now tell him at 7.15am after breakfast to get dressed and brush teeth. At 7.45am I say we go in 15mins, then 10 mins, then 5 mins then 2 then 1 then WE GO.

He has been much better after last week when he got the laptop out as a response to being told to get dressed Hmm. Told again to get dressed we leave at 8am. He was mortified when at 8am on the dot after all the warnings he had to walk to the car in his towel (had had a shower) and get dressed in breakfast club car park. The shock is just about wearing off so get the feeling it may happen again soon!

bakeyouhappy · 03/10/2011 21:13

Its about ego and your kids are winning. You are acting like you can't handle it, so it continues. Put them in their room. They don't come out until clothes are on. Every time. No food, drinks nothing. Every time. If it takes 3 days, oh well. You win. Mom has to be stronger than 6+7 year olds.

boohoobabywho · 03/10/2011 21:16

sorry but i have it cracked... only one dd... helps.

we have a routine, i wake at 7 shower and whatever i have to do, then 7.30 wake dd, both get into my big bed and watch the news till 7.45. then up washed and dressed by 8- does hers all byherself - teeth and hair too.

UNLESS

DH is in charge, then lots of mucking about, shouting, dh doing the dressing, dd moaning that this itches, that pinches etc etc etc.

I LOVE WEEKDAYS, they are so much easier!

Original poster
joshandjamie · 03/10/2011 22:14

Let me tell you what I've tried:

Rewards - very little seems to give quite enough focus

Threats and follow through -

  • they lose pennies (lots of) off their pocket money (only a £1 a week and they rarely manage to keep more than 50p of that due to behaviour)
  • no Telly/DS
  • going up to school in PJs (have done this - well as far as onto the street outside the house while they desperately manage to fling their pjs off en route)
  • no bedtime stories
  • no going to whatever exciting thing may have been on the cards
  • am sure there must be a million others

Incentives/fun

  • we've had races
  • timed dressings
  • them racing me to get dressed
  • get to play a game right afterwards
  • etc

My presence

  • I have stood right next to them like a cheerleader helping them on their way
  • I have actually put the clothes on them - It makes sod all difference. If they're in a mood to arse around, I simply get the bum wiggled in my face.

Most things works for a day. But then it's groundhog day and we go back to square one. We've even had a run of about three days where they do it perfectly and I think I have finally cracked it. And then it implodes again.

I assure you I am a strict mum. But I hate, hate, hate having to start each day being a drill sergeant.

I'm just really pleased that it's not just my children. Incidentally, teeth cleaning is another sodding nightmare. My best threat that does work is that if they don't clean their teeth, I shall take their toothbrushes up to school and ask the head teacher to let them brush their teeth in front of the whole school at assembly. That does it.

OP posts:
Original poster
joshandjamie · 03/10/2011 22:15

Oh - and we've done separate rooms too. That results in less mania, more daydreaming. In fact if I put them in a plain white room with nothing in it other than their clothes, they could still find a way of getting distracted.

OP posts: