"It takes a village to raise a child"

[Greensleeves]

Does it fuck.

And even if it did, there's a far cry from close-knit, supportive "village" environment to some old bag making shrewish remarks about my ds1 on the bus.

So butt out and mind yer own business.

Errrm yes...no...I don't know?!

well, there are certainly occasions when i'd like to pack some of mine off to be raised in a village somewhere.

without me.

?????????????

Soupy, such "villages" do exist - but they cost a fucking fortune

YANBU

I agree wholeheartedly with you. The 'village' should actually help out how you need it as opposed to using the terminology to try and guilt you into listening to their drivel about how you should raise your child.

Ok 3 times I've read that in one morning.
It's lost all meaning.

One of the main problems with this "saying" is that if the "villager" who is interfering/advising/trying to raise your child is unpleasant or clueless or whatever, then it is very frustrating to say the least for the parent.

Say for example you (or I ) was struggling with a young dc on the bus. Another passenger may take it upon herself to intervene. That might involve making unhelpful suggestions (in an extreme example, telling you to give the child a good hiding for example).

However another passenger may try to help but in a more kind and appropriate manner, say it you child is small they may wave at them or try and distract them if they are crying or being a bit tricky.

There will always be busybodies and people who stick their noses in though.

YANBU

This is the problem with having moved all those traveller communities on. There are no longer any gypsies to sell your children to.

Soup isn't that called boarding school? (and it costs a lot!)

YABVU to think villages were "close-knit, supportive "village" environments". Talk to anyone who was ever raised in an old fashioned close knit village. Yes you got some practical help, but you also got lots of comments - negative and positive and lots of gossip about you and others.

YANBU.
For some people that expression is used as an excuse to critise and stick your beak in.

I've always perceived it as some kind of community, like AIBU, for example - in thinking that its 'judginess' exacts the kind of behaviour from other people that individuals want to see.

It's the rough with the smooth though - you can't expect your community to take an interest in your and your child if you take no interest in the community - and that sometimes means accepting that other people will tell your child off if they're climbing on their car as well as picking them up and putting a plaster on their knee when they fall down.

To me, it's all about fitting into the community you live in - and accepting their 'ways' and norms of behaviour.