to be upset and furious and want to give this boy a slap?

[WannabeNigella]

Of course I wouldn't really slap him but I'm so upset as well as furious and want some wise words please.

We pulled up outside school today and ds 4.5 said the child in the car next to him (about two years older) had told him the other day he couldn't play with them as they didn't like people in glasses. (DS wears glasses). I was instantly furious and asked DS what he did, he said nothing, just went away and played on my own.

I feel so devastated for him. I know it's a minor problem in the grand scale of things in life but he has only been at school three weeks and I'm so upset that he was rejected in this way.

I want to tell him what to do should this happen again but don't know if telling a teacher is the right way to go about it and don't want to make it a bigger thing than it actually is. Telling him to ignore them doesn't seem enough either. So any wise words for me mumsnetters that I can pass on to my gorgeous boy?

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your kind comments and advice.

I think what I am going to do is make even more effort to chat with him each night about specifically what he has done that day at playtime etc and see if anything gets mentioned again.

He is loving school so much and I can't help but think if he had been really bothered about what had been said he would have told me at the time and it would also have affected how he feels about going to school. Only this morning on the way there he told me how much he loved it, I really think if he hadn't have seen the boy in the car next to us it wouldn't have come up. I also don't know how long ago it happened, whether it was just on Friday or whether it was a couple of weeks ago and hasn't happened since.

I still feel so upset about it and when we were told earlier this year he had to wear glasses this was my huge worry, that this would happen. I was convinced otherwise by friends, family and nursery workers who all said children weren't bothered nowadays about children in glasses and his close friends don't seem bothered at all, some have even said they want some! Shame how one thing can turn it all on it's head.

I guess one of my worries is that this is just the start of it and he is going to get bullied now and more and more as time goes on.

Not over reacting, DD is s bit self concuss about her glasses. I'd feel just the same.
I wasn't the least bothered about mine and I think people realised this. I was teased about everything else, but not my specs!

startail That's interesting actually as DS has always loved his and never ever moaned once about wearing them. Such a shame that this boy has made the first negative comment he would have heard about them.

I would have a word as soon as you can, with his teacher. He is only in Reception and an incident like this has the potential to escalate.

I'd get it nipped in the bud and then keep an eye to see all is okay.

My 4 year old son was picked on by an older boy in his first month at school and he started to get upset. A quiet word with the head and it was sorted.

It is upsetting - but maybe you are taking a more adult view. Maybe your son isn't devastated by it and knows its rude.

My rule of thumb is that I treat other children the way I would want my own child to be treated. The chances are one day, my children will say a mean thing. How would I want it dealt with? Unless you know that your son will never put a foot wrong then do handle it gently.

If however, you feel your son is getting upset - it is becoming a problem then do talk to teacher. They are normally very sensitive about these things. I would like to add that I although my kids don't wear glasses - both my and their DH do - there will be a lot of kids for whom glass wearing is simply no big deal. When I was young the glasses were so ugly - and I think this was what we were teased about.

Good luck - and try not to worry too much.

You've all been great.

Can you give me any suggestions what to tell my son to say should this happen again? (I have plenty of things I'd like to tell him to say but I don't want to teach him to be as bad as them if you know what I mean)

I don't know really. I try not to load dd up with one liners. She has had to cope with people commenting about her brothers asd. I have always told her that if people don't want to play with her because of really stupid reasons then they are not worth bothering with. And if they are being rude all the time she needs to tell her teacher.