I'm a germaphobe . . .

[TS123]

I'm so paranoid of my 20 month old getting sick that I feel stressed when people bring their sick kids over to my house to play. When she's sick we don't get any sleep - for up to 2 weeks straight. The days are a nightmare because she's tired and difficult and stops napping on a schedule and I cannot get anything done with my other kids or around the house - frankly our whole house and my sanity go out the window. But at the same time, I realize that I cannot ask people with runny noses and coughs to stay away - otherwise we'd hardly see anyone all fall and winter! I need to relax but not sure how to let it go. Do I need a serious reality check or what?!

calm down and relax

You need to work out the cause of this anxiety which sounds like it is over whelming you

It is hard when kids don't sleep but illnesses are part and parcel of child hood

You need to figure out your extreme reaction - maybe a chat with your GP and some self help books?

Had your child been very poorly at some point to trigger this reaction?

Colds and the like are good - they build up the immune system. Best she gets all the snuffle bugs now before nursery - because that is just a giant pool of perpetual snots/coughs/colds!

Unwell child = sofa, blanket and sleep as and when the illness dictates. Children are very self regulating. Im not a great advocate of co-sleeping, but I make exception in those circumstances.

it is not great. I agree it is a bit thoughtless of parents to take sick dc visiting but if it is just a cold, they do need to gradually build up a bit of immunity and this will be happening through all the bugs your dc is catching. If your dc goes to nursery later, you will have this problem all the time. Lots of dc unfortunately go to nursery although they are unwell and should probably be at home. I have even seen dc with fever and all sorts taken to toddler groups where it really isn't necessary at all, with nurseries/schools sometimes parents see no other option if they have to work. Doesn't make it right but it happens.

And then it is school. Same thing again.

sorry crossed posts

I don't think you're a germophobe so much as a lack-of-sleepophobe - which I can relate to. I get very upset if I think my sleep is going to be disturbed or indeed if it is. However - you have children now and that's how it's going to be for a while. I suppose the trick is to sleep as and when and deregiment it when they're ill. If you isolate your children from anyone who is ill or might be ill you're all going to end up very lonely!

I agree with troisgarcons, we all need to build a healthy immune system through exposure to germs, immunisations and the old-fashioned 'peck of dirt' theory - BUT having had a child recovering from a bone marrow transplant, necessitating a year of immuno-suppression, and an enforced year of germ avoidance (aka imprisonment with toddler twins & poorly boy), I share your pain ... every time we dared to venture out, someone would be proudly showing off their chicken pox spots (meaning a trip to GOSH for immunoglobulin shot for DS), coughing and sneezing disgustingly or laughing about their tummy bug ... I just think people don't realise that it's not funny or clever to spread things around, almost deliberately. DS luckily made a good recovery and had a normal childhood, but to this day (he's 25, the twins are 23), we all jump at clear evidence of germ-sharing. This has done us no harm at all, although they laughed at my 'paranoia' as they were growing up, they are ultra-clean themselves now, and in my job as secondary school teacher, and the twins' jobs as social workers, we all strive to avoid catching every germ going, I would have thought this attitude is perfectly understandable ! I attended a residential course in Germany in the summer at which two teachers from Brazil had a really awful cough/cold/flu-type virus, and somehow managed to be one of the few not to catch it in the group of 16. I was probably OCD about not touching things they'd coughed on, tried to avoid sitting next to them, and stuffed back a daily 1000mg Vitamin C. It was probably mind over matter, but I was determined not to catch it !

Speaking as a teacher, I also agree with ZZZenAgain re. DC being sent to school when obviously ill, but given the woeful state of 'childcare' in the UK, I suppose this situation is sadly not surprising :(

Thanks to all of you. Reading all these replies is precisely what "keeps me in line"! To BatsupmeNightie: you are spot-on with your assessment. I am really a lack-of-sleep - o - phobe! Also, thanks to albertcamus for your post since your situation puts my concerns in a proper perspective. You had real reasons for needing to protect your child from illness, while in my case, it's really just selfish concerns at play (ie. my own need for order and sleep).
Thanks again from a tired mom who needed a reality check!