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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DP is over reacting to DS being sold spray paint

23 replies

Shinyshoes1 · 01/10/2011 10:51

My DS2 (10) has been sold spray paint for his bike by a shopkeeper. DP has gone spare saying he is going to ring Trading Standards.

I think he's overreacting and he's not likely to be the next Banksy and spray the walls.

Would you be happy with your child being sold spray paint or have I completely missed the point ?

OP posts:

Dipsyistipsy · 01/10/2011 10:54

It,s a criminal offence to sell it to a child.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 01/10/2011 10:55

Are there any legal restrictions on the sale of that item to children? If there are, then I agree with your husband that it should be reported. Otherwise, I agree with you

cory · 01/10/2011 10:58

I might report it as a criminal offence in my role as good citizen.

I wouldn't do it for my own ds' sake, though: if he misbehaves, with paints or anything else, that's his look-out, and I wouldn't be blaming anybody else. More for the sake of society at large iyswim

kat2504 · 01/10/2011 10:59

Since your son has not bought it with the intention of doing any antisocial graffiti and just wants to paint his bike, I think it is a bit of an overreaction.

However, it is illegal. Perhaps the shopkeeper is not aware of that, or perhaps it was a less experienced shop assistant who was not up to speed with the law. I think a word with the shop would be a better starting point.

ChippingIn · 01/10/2011 11:00

It is an offence but it wouldn't bother me if I knew my child was going to use it for his bike and not anything else

I find it bloody annoying that our children are being more and more legislated against because some children/teenagers are out of control.

GalaxyWeaver · 01/10/2011 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snailoon · 01/10/2011 11:04

There are too many rules and laws about everything. PLEASE don't report this; everyone just keeps getting more and more officious and annoying. If you must, go tell the store, but more to warn them that some irritating person might report them.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight · 01/10/2011 13:52

Well, when you consider that children die from aerosol abuse, banning the sale of such items to children is not such an officious, annoying thing. It's a minor inconvinence at times that may very well be saving lives. Children who need them for other reasons can easily get a parent or guardian to buy them.

There are many things that you can just let go. Selling a substance to a child that is illegal to sell to a child for the reason that children die from abusing it, is something that really needs addressing, imo.

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 01/10/2011 13:56

When I was 15 a friend of mine died after sniffing glue - I would be livid at any shop selling a child any substance that can KILL them if they inhale it - spray paint being one of these.
It's illegal to sell it to children for a reason.

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 01/10/2011 14:15

It's illegal to sell something like that to a child.

You might be very happy with your sons intentions, but the shopkeeper had no idea what they were and graffiti is the least of it. I agree with Hecate and PomBear on this.

And even if the shopkeeper knows your son and trusts him, it's easy to misuse substances like that by accident. What if your son has no intention of buying it for solvent abuse but doesn't realise he has to use the paint in a well ventilated area or outside? He could suffer the same effects as from solvent abuse but by accident. What happens if your son decided to spray his bike in your living room against your sofa with all the windows and doors closed? At best a ruined sofa, the worst doesn't bear thinking about.

Would you think your DH had over-reacted if it were alcohol or cigarettes or knives etc, rather than spray paint?

AuntieMonica · 01/10/2011 14:22

YABU, for all the reasons already stated above re; solvent abuse.

OK, your DS has bought it for it's intended use, but believe me, once it gets round that this shopkeeper is a soft touch he'll be a target for solvent users.

Good for your DP.

DownbytheRiverside · 01/10/2011 14:26

The shop that my DS and I buy our spray paint from also sells craft scalpels, stanley knives and a range of exciting and dangerous products that it is illegal for him to purchase as he is 16.
So if you don't report them, and the next time he comes home with a scalpel...

AuntieMonica · 01/10/2011 14:28

*abusers not users

squeakytoy · 01/10/2011 16:27

I dont think I would be so heavy handed as to report the bloke, but I would go to the shop and warn him that he is breaking the law.

IloveJudgeJudy · 01/10/2011 17:09

If your DH was so upset at the shop selling your DS the paint, why was your DS allowed in the shop with money on his own to buy the stuff?

DownbytheRiverside · 01/10/2011 17:10

He's 10, not 5.
My two were roaming around our town with money in their pockets at that age.

onagar · 01/10/2011 17:26

children die from aerosol abuse

Solvent abuse yes, but do they buy spray paint for that? Surely that is mainly banned because of graffiti?

Granted the shopkeeper was wrong, but if he looked at the OPs DS and thought "he is always in here buying bike parts so it probably is for that" it would be understandable.

ginmakesitallok · 01/10/2011 17:28

No it's banned because of solvent abuse

AuntieMonica · 01/10/2011 17:30

onagar

about 15 years ago we had a spate of young teens using flourescent spray paints - if it has 'fumes' it'll be used by someone, somewhere

Triggles · 01/10/2011 18:08

and it's not like it's difficult for a kid to get a small inexpensive bike part and the spray paint, to lull the shopkeeper into a false sense of security... the whole point of the law is that the shopkeeper is not supposed to use their judgement. It's illegal. End of.

Personally I don't know why a shopkeeper would want to take the risk. Even if they only landed a fine, I wouldn't want to feel responsible if a child was ill or died from it.

SecretNutellaFix · 01/10/2011 18:11

I would find the legislation online and print off a copy and both you and dh go and have a quiet word with the shopkeeper.

IloveJudgeJudy · 01/10/2011 18:18

Riverside, what I meant was, I'm fine with DC roaming around, having freedom, but then don't get upset if things happen. I think "we" mollycoddle "our" DC far too much nowadays. I can't understand OP's DH getting so upset unless he thinks that the DS is going to sniff the stuff. I'm more likely to be upset because shops aren't allowed to sell DC stuff any more.

Triggles · 01/10/2011 19:09

Perhaps he's not so much upset that his DS is going to sniff the stuff but inadvertently may have used it in an area that was not ventilated and ended up ill or dead.

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