to feel bitter about the way work treated me when i went off on maternity leave?

[Bobbish]

Need to be told whether i am justified in feeling upset or to just get over myself.

The plan was to work till 39 weeks and then go off on leave. i ended up being hospitalised at 35 weeks with cholestasis and PE and induced at 36 weeks. Had a traumatic birth with failed induction and emergency c-sect. Luckily DD2 was fine and i have fully recovered. We did spend a further week in hospital with jaundice/feeding issues.

I am hurt that neither my immediate line manager or big boss contacted me the whole time i was in hospital to see how i was coping. I emailed work (from my hospital bed) just to let them know where i was at with my work load and what would need immediate attention. The most i had was an email back from my line manager joking about my extreme method of getting out of having to do a certain presentation later that week.

Whenever anyone else from work has been in hospital the office have sent flowers, and when anyone else has had a baby a whip-round is organised and presents/card bought. I had none of this.

It is not so much the flowers or gifts i want as the knowledge that someone thought enough of me to say 'hey - lets organise something for Bobbish'. I have the feeling that had i made it to 39 weeks i would have had the leaving bash etc - and because it happened all of a sudden nothing was organised.

sorry for long-windedness - just been dwelling on this a bit too much for my own good and dreading going back now. Am i right to be feeling a bit miffed?

A close friend has worked at the same company for 12 years, her DH has worked there for 13 years (small company with around 60 people, so everyone knows everyone else). She was pregnant with her first baby and was planning to work until 38 weeks, but her DD arrived at 35 weeks, so she left work unexpectedly. She was pretty hurt that she and her DH never received so much as a card from work. She has just gone back to work after 13 months maternity leave and the office manager delved into her desk and handed her a grubby envelope with a card obviously signed by people before she went on maternity leave and £35 in loose change (which was collected for her). Apart from no-one converting that to a present (or even vouchers), her DH works in the same office and walks past the office managers desk several times a day, so it could have been given to him at any point over the last year!! She felt like handing it back.

I don't know if this makes a difference, but in our place you get a fuss for DC1, but not for subsequent!

sorry to hear all these stories. But not really surprised. Seems a kind of general malaise these days.
have you noticed that loyalty seems like a thing of the past. On both employers and employee side. Gone are the days when You worked for Shell for 35 years. Now, it seems acceptable to 'do a Tevez' and screw anyone/do anything, in order to get what you want.
And general relationships seems to deteriorate. Closeness between families, caring of colleagues. all seems to disintergarate. And at times of hardship/recession, this seems to get worse, not better, which is should do at the times when we really need eachother. Times are tough, so I have to look after number one first, and sod everyone else. Or, so it seems.
All a bit sad, isn't it. But I'm not sure if anyhting can be done about it. Yes it hurts OP. But maybe try not to take it as personal, but just a general example of today.

I had pretty much the same with DD1 - I left at 35 weeks and had her at 38...nothing from my work at all. A card on the day I left (which was clearly an afterthought as I left on a public holiday and the card was only signed by the very few people who were in that day.

I was the one who tended to organise the collections etc for people elaving, and when it became known that I wasn;t entirely thrilled I was told that I should have organised something for myself.

I never returned o that job after ML as I didn;t feel valued at all.

On a similar note, not PG/DC related, our office "only does big birthdays". This means for a "normal" birthday, you get a card from your team... for a big birthday, people do balloons, collection, flowers/choc/wine (whatever fits the person)... So I actually took myself off to the loos for a cry when I got a grubby battered card for my 30th. I then had 2 weeks off.... and came back in with chocs for everyone. When they asked "ooh what are these for" I announced loudly to the team "well it was my 30th, I didn't want it to pass unnoticed"..... the hush was audible, and the faces gave a lovely warm glow.
I had been mentioning the words 30th for weeks before hand as I have an age issue (flakey me!!) so it's not like no one knew! The people I sat with then DEFINITELY knew.

YANBU.... but some people are just a bit pants. I never put in a collection on that team again though. I had MADE someone a cake for their event.... never again, not for work.

Sorry - to add... I didn't actually want anything... but when you are the only one that doesn't get even a nod of acknowledgement, it hurts. The thought very much counts. The lack of it hurts.