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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to feel very weepy about DD1 off to uni tomorrow, my birthday today and siniusitis

19 replies

lolaflores · 01/10/2011 07:17

Can't stop crying. I feel a bit silly but am leaking like a tap. Feel really unwell and a bit powerless as my dearest child packs up all her stuff for the off tomorrow. I just opened my cards and snotted and slathered big hot "I don't feel well" tears all over them. My youngest is a bit bemused by mummy being sooooo silly. I didn't thimkI would be like this. Don't know how I am going to get through today. People coming over and I just want everyone to fuck off. Please tell me to pull myself together

OP posts:

NorksAreMessy · 01/10/2011 07:32

Poor Lola :(

Happy birthday anyway, I hope it cheers up.

I recommend drugs, tea and biscuits in bed, see if you can persuade DD to climb in with you like she used to.
And remember roots and wings, roots and wings.

Hassled · 01/10/2011 07:32

You poor thing.
Yes, having a DC leave for Uni is hard. There's no two ways about it - it's hard (have been through it twice now). But you do get used to it, amazingly quickly, and the holidays are long. And she's still your little girl - she still needs you. And she'll have a load of fun. But don't feel silly for feeling low about it - it's the end of an era; it's a big deal.

And I have sinusitis atm - am on antibiotics. And yesterday I sat and wept like a baby because I was so fed up of feeling ill and overwhelmed and crap. It seems to have that effect on people. Get to the GP if you can - the ABs are kicking in now and this morning I feel more myself.

And birthdays are bitter-sweet sometimes, aren't they? I often feel a bit weepy on mine.

In short - yes, try to have a nice day but acknowledge you have a lot going on and if you want to tell your visitors to fuck off, feel free. It's your birthday and you can cry if you wnat to.

Original poster

lolaflores · 01/10/2011 07:42

yeah the sore nose and head is making me feel so awful. and cranky. awful night and feel like death warmed up. it is like everything is out of control
got AB's and hope they will kick in soon. snotty snot snots

OP posts:

Hassled · 01/10/2011 08:07

Yes - where does all the snot come from? How is it possible that one smallish head can produce that much snot? Sinusitis is truly hideous.

ABs didn't really kick in till Day 3 for me - and even then it's a slow recovery rather than waking up one morning feeling fine. Google tells me that Sinusitis is notoriously hard to shift.

Original poster

lolaflores · 01/10/2011 08:40

semtex up the nostril? only second time with this, forgot how poo it was. so you are on the mend, very good, hope I catch up soon.

OP posts:

mumblechum1 · 01/10/2011 08:43

and

philmassive · 01/10/2011 09:43

Couldn't read and run on this one. I work at a uni as support staff/admin and it breaks my heart every year to see the parents dropping off their dc's. The only thing I can say in the hope it may help is that there are lots of people to support them if they are worried or sad or have a wobble and many if them are big softies like me who will check back regularly and keep a distanced watchful eye Your dd will be fine and there is an invisible net of people making sure that that is the case, if that is any reassurance.

Personally I think you should be allowed to be sad but also think how fab you've been to have got her this far.

Have a happy birthday, and hope you feel better soon.

FabbyChic · 01/10/2011 09:49

Hey birthday greetings, dont show your daughter how upset you are you will make her feel guilty.

I spent all last Saturday night crying in a right state because my son had gone to Uni.

It's been a week now and this is the second weekend of me on my own.

I miss him terribly, but he is having a great time and making friends for life.

Marshy · 01/10/2011 09:57

Philmassive - I want my daughter to go to your uni - you sound lovely.

She won't be going for a while yet but I know I will feel just as you do lolaflores, though hopefully without the sinusitus. Hope you feel better soon and have some comfort in knowing that you are not alone in feeling how you do

vegetariandumpling · 01/10/2011 11:07

YADNBU about the sinitus. I had it before and it was almost the worst pain I've ever been in...it was like period pain in my face! Please please please go and see a dr NOW if you haven't already. It won't go by itself and you'll feel better very quickly after taking the right stuff for it.

As for the rest of it, YAstillNBU. But I'm sure once your DD has settled you'll feel much better.

and happy birthday!

mycatsaysach · 01/10/2011 11:09

poor you lola x

happy birthday x

PrincessTamTam · 01/10/2011 11:34

Poooooor you! Sinusitis is bad enough but the DAY before DD1 goes off to uni is just not fair. I am totally with you, my DS1 goes off tomorrow too and I literally can't bear to see him packing his room up. I have really surprised myself with my reaction too, I burst into tears in the supermarket yesterday because I was NOT buying food for him, the stuff I know he likes. I feel a bit pathetic tbh but I just can't help it.

I do think it will be better once they are actually there??? That's what my friends tell me - all their DCs left in the last couple of weeks.

Anyway bottom line is YANBU and it is your birthday and you should cry and tell people to F off if you want to....bollox to them all!!! I also think it is ok to let your daughter know that you will miss her, but that you know she will have the time of her life.

Good luck! Will be thinking of you tomorrow as I sob into his new duvet.

Original poster

lolaflores · 01/10/2011 12:07

waaahhhhaaah haHHHHAhhaaaaaaaaa.
yes to the period pain in the face. snorted a bucket of mucus to that one. i do feel pathetic. for such a long time it was me an her alone. her dad left when she was 2. ARSEHOLE. I have always felt so intensely worried for her but looking at her today,she is a fine big girl ready for anything. and bollox to them all indeed. i don't even want cake. how fucked up is that? thank you all ladies from the bottom of my snuffy heart. It is lovely to hear,. My friends with younger kids seem not to get it. they will one day. my day has arrived.

OP posts:

BeaOnSea · 01/10/2011 12:13

Flowers for your birthday and for doing such a good job at parenting that your DD is ready and able to go to Uni.

GinSlinger · 01/10/2011 15:50

birthday wishes, get well soon wishes and huge dollops of empathy about the uni business. Mine have all gone now but I still remember walking the dog across the fields howling and sobbing when the first one went.

TeiTetua · 01/10/2011 19:15

You have to watch your little birds fly away, or you haven't brought them up right. In fact it's the moment that it all leads up to.

cecinestpasunepipe · 01/10/2011 21:38

So sorry you are feeling rotten. Hope you have improved as the day has gone on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Try to make the most of DD being away. One of my great pleasures when my DDs were at uni was to go and visit them, meeting their new friends, sleeping over and chatting all night long.They both ended up back at home after their studies, and it was soo much easier when they flew the nest a second (and in one case, third) times.

Original poster

lolaflores · 03/10/2011 11:41

Had a bloody good cry in the back garden after she left. and went to bed and blubbed a bit more. she is fine and racing round getting registerd. ahhhh4

OP posts:

BestisWest · 03/10/2011 11:47

Aww, you will be fine in a week or so, I blubbed incessantly the first few days but now that I know DD has made some nice friends and is having a good time I feel much happier. It's hard when you are not well yourself.

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