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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

? Child-free wedding - possible faux pas!

57 replies

unfitmother · 30/09/2011 12:19

DH have been invited to a wedding of an old university friend of his from 20 yrs ago.
I know him but haven't seen him for at least 10 yrs, I've never met the bride. Invite was for DH and I only which is perfectly reasonable in the circumstances and I was happy with that.
Wedding is 300 miles away and DH has family there. DCs are coming with us, staying the night with us tonight and going to BILs in the morning.

I've just phoned the hotel and they semmed to be making a big deal of the fact that we had dcs.

Should I have asked before bringing them?

OP posts:
cat64 · 30/09/2011 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gordyslovesheep · 30/09/2011 13:29

op has run oft - how not on !

I am guessing that they booked a room for 2 adults and neglected to mention they where also bringing 6 kids - or something

nickelbabe · 30/09/2011 13:29

but surely the hotel must have known when they booked?
you don't just book for "4 people" when you knwo that 2 of the "people" are "children"
you book "2 adults and 2 children"

I think the hotel is assuming you think the kids are going to the wedding.

TheSmallClanger · 30/09/2011 13:31

Did the hotel specifically ask you not to bring the children? Does it have a website you can consult?
Unless they said something concrete, I'd ignore the receptionist and put it down to sniffiness, or a bad day.

gordyslovesheep · 30/09/2011 13:34

Should I have asked before bringing them? makes me think maybe they - you know, didnt book for the kids?

HeadfirstForHocusPocus · 30/09/2011 13:39

Come back op!

ViviPru · 30/09/2011 13:43

this thread is doing my head in!

GinSlinger · 30/09/2011 13:57

I need to know what the big deal is and cannot rest

Sandalwood · 30/09/2011 14:14

I'm guessing the friend booked the room along with all the wedding party rooms and you assumed they'd booked to include your DC.

northerngirl41 · 30/09/2011 14:18

We quite often go to stay in a lovely hotel up north - the rooms are quite small however and the time before last we had the joys of someone else's children shrieking at 6am (and bear in mind, we'd got rid of ours and had consumed rather a lot of very expensive wine in the hotel restaurant the night before!!). I was NOT HAPPY and the receptionist was asked to intervene. She tried, parents told her to eff off (lovely!) and we endured another 2 hours of it... Funnily enough the next time we booked, they'd changed their policy - no kids in the hotel unless separate rooms booked and they could therefore put their parents in between the kids and any other rooms. And no kids in the hotel restaurant. Which is fair enough if people can't be trusted to be sensible about controlling their children.

OP obviously didn't check and is now outraged that she might not be able to squeeze double capacity into a single room...

ViviPru · 30/09/2011 14:20

Everyone's assumptions on here are different - understandably so. But we won't know for sure until the OP stops sunning herself long enough to come back and kindly clear all this up.

Harecare · 30/09/2011 14:21

It's not a faux pas, it's a very silly mistake. You must book a room to fit all the occupants, they can't just sleep on ready beds on the floor. It's a hotel, not a friend's house.
So, yes, of course you should have told the hotel you were bringing children.

ENormaSnob · 30/09/2011 14:33

So did you book a hotel room for 2 adults plus 2 children?

If not then yabu.

Original poster
unfitmother · 30/09/2011 14:36

Sorry, I did first leg of the drive!
We originally booked a double room for DH and I only for the Saturday night then realised we'd need to go up thr day before so phoned and booked a family room for the Friday night as well.
Don't want dcs to go to BILs for 2 nights, he's not been well and I don't want to take the piss.
On phoning hotel today I'm told we're in a cottage adjourning the hotel.
Only then did I think maybe they don't want kids around, the groom is staying there so imagine there'll be a drinking session.
Have seen some child free wedding threads on MN recently!

OP posts:
Original poster
unfitmother · 30/09/2011 14:38

Sorry, I did first leg of the drive!
We originally booked a double room for DH and I only for the Saturday night then realised we'd need to go up thr day before so phoned and booked a family room for the Friday night as well.
Don't want dcs to go to BILs for 2 nights, he's not been well and I don't want to take the piss.
On phoning hotel today I'm told we're in a cottage adjourning the hotel.
Only then did I think maybe they don't want kids around, the groom is staying there so imagine there'll be a drinking session.
Have seen some child free wedding threads on MN recently!

OP posts:
cat64 · 30/09/2011 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gordyslovesheep · 30/09/2011 14:39

got you - well no yanbu - they booked a FAMILY room - the clue is in the name

Original poster
unfitmother · 30/09/2011 14:39

Sorry, mobile reception sporadic atm!

OP posts:
mankyscotslass · 30/09/2011 14:40

When the hotel was booked did you make it clear that you wanted a room for 2 adults & 2 children?

mankyscotslass · 30/09/2011 14:40

Sorry X posted

gordyslovesheep · 30/09/2011 14:42

actually rereading i don't think they ARE bur - they may only have space for a family in the cottage

BertieBotts · 30/09/2011 14:43

I don't understand - why are you upset at being booked the cottage? Confused Sounds lovely!

Original poster
unfitmother · 30/09/2011 14:46

Hard to explain cat, it was how the man said it on the phone that made me suddenly think this might be a child free affair hence us being put in a 3 bed cottage for the price of a family room.
I'm probably being paranoid, I blame MN!

OP posts:
Original poster
unfitmother · 30/09/2011 14:49

I'm not remotely upset!
Just had a guilt attack.

OP posts:
oranges · 30/09/2011 14:51

so you feel the hotel are so desperate to keep your children away from thegroom that they are offering you a free upgrade. And the problem is?

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