To have my daughter's umbilical hernia operated on purely for cosmetic reasons?

[cazty1]

Hi
My Daughter was born with an umbilical hernia which we hoped might heal itself however she is now 5 and so there is no chance of this.

The doctors have agreed to operate and I've had a date for the operation however I'm really worried as to whether I'm doing this for the right reasons. Her belly button can be seen protruding when she wears a T shirt so it is big and I'm sure she'll hate it when she's a teenager, however does that justify a general anaesthetic and surgery? AIBU?

um,dumb question,is a hernia different from an outie? dd has an outie, I've never thought anything about it. can it really affect confidence? I thought it was quite cute.

apologies for slight derail

According to your description, I would be concerned that she could find it uncomfortable / sore as time goes on, catching on belts, or when she does somersaults over a bar etc.

I am not one to advocate surgery just to make people look standard (have a child with a noticeable differnce that will always be so) but given that this is a hernia, not a bit of an outie, and given that the op will be v minor and the risks practically negligible, I would go ahead without a second thought.

I'm very interested to read this thread. My DD has always had an 'outie' but I had thought that was just because they cut the cord in the wrong place in a hurry when she was born. Nothing was mentioned about it at her baby checkups. Then earlier this year (she's now 3) I went to a doc about a minor unrelated thing and he said 'oh look she's got an umbilical hernia' and showed me how to feel the gap. He said they sometimes right themselves but if not they should be operated on. I didn't realise it could be considered just a cosmetic operation. He definitely said something to me about it being a potential health problem. (note, we are abroad, and so the doctors are private). Can anyone enlighten me? Is it potentially a health hazard?

Just to warn you, my sister had this operation at about 5 or 6 and it didn't work. She now not only has an outie, but a tiny scar above it (neither are particularly noticeable to be fair, though she refuses to wear a bikini, and it does show through some skintight tops).

It's been noticed by other children at school etc, but mainly in curiosity, she's never been bullied about it, and one of the schools we went to was pretty rough.

I am in a simelar position but for a different problem. So far the docs have been conservative but the later you leave it the more say your DC has to have. They may well not be keen on an operation when they are older. So really it's either have it done when they are younger or wait till the teens when they will probably ask for it.

Yanbu. Nobody wants their child to have to go through surgery and have a ga, but I expect she will be glad to have had it done when she's a bit older. Dd1 is 5 and had an operation to correct a squint during the summer, done under ga, it all went well and we're glad to have got it done. In some ways I think it's easier for them to have ops when they're still young, as they don't worry about it beforehand.

My DD had hers done last year at the grand old age of 8!

YANBU. She had to take swimming lessons and all the children were V nasty about her tummy button.

I'm with sexualharrasment on this. Let her have it done when and if it bothers her. You are telling her that being a bit " different" isn't ok....

And I post this as the mum of a girl with pretty good bat ears which stick through her hair elf like, if she hasn't her hair tucked behind them. At about 5 when she had her 1st gromets the net guy looked at them, pulled them back to her head and said " well fix those when she wants them doing". I was a bit annoyed as we'd not even said anything!!

Well she's 12 now and doesn't seem to care so she can look after her lovely ears. They don't affect her one jot.

Everyone is different, there no such thing as " perfect" we are all " perfectly ourselves"

I was told by the hospital to have it done for my then 5 yrd old.

She had it done on the Friday and was back in school on the Monday, you can't even see the scar.

I think absolutely she should have it done if it's causing her any kind of discomfort with waistbands or anything and you won't have trouble getting it on the nhs then because it won't be purely cosmetic. But if it's just because she may get picked on I wouldn't myself. Kids will get picked on for all kinds of reasons. You wouldn't dye her hair if it was red would you? (I have red hair and got a few comments but I'm glad my mum didn't dye it).

A hernia isn't just a bulge or a 'cosmetic' problem. Its a hole. My daughters hernia (hole in her abdomen) has filled with fat which now has its own blood supply. Getting rid of her hernia has more to do with removing the fatty tissue and repairing the hole. On any day, if the fat breaks down, her insides could bulge out and this would call her a great deal of pain. Perhaps a umbilical hernia is different? I am always a bit worried if she falls on her stomach.

To be fair the op does say 'for purely cosmetic reasons'.

the risk with a hernia, for whoever asked, it that you can get a strangulated hernia, basically a bit of bowel or intestine can go through the small gap and then get stuck and maybe twisted.

its easy to see and check for tho and fairly rare, with my ds2 when he lies down you can press the hernia and it will go flat and 'pop' back in, if however the area ever goes red, inflamed or is painful or the hernia wont go back in then your best bet (the hospital told us) is to go straight to a&e where they could diagnosis and would operate immediately.

because of the fact that is is rare to get the strangulated hernia and as our son isnt bothered we havent had his operated on tho they will do it on the nhs for cosmetic reasons and offered my ds2 the operation on this basis. we politely declined, but if of course he ever had any problems we woudl take him to get it checked out. thankfully so far he never has and as he had got older and his stomach muscles stronger the hernia has reduced, tho he still has an outy belly button and you can 'feel' the hole if you feel around his belly button, but it isnt as big as it was.

i just dont see the point in putting him through an operation unless he needs it or chooses himself to do so.

we had a similar choice with our eldest who has an unusual birth mark on his head, it gives him a bald patch and again the nhs will operate partly because statistically it gives him a miniscule extra risk of skin cancer (on the birht mark itself) but mainly for cosmetic reasons, they would remove it in stages and pull the skin around it tight so that he would end up with a fine line of a scar instead of a bald patch. but tbh he has his hair long and so you cant see it and again he isnt bothered. we opted to wait and see, and if when he is older (he is now 12) he wants the operation then we would ask for it to be done, ditto with ds2 and his belly button.

to us these little quirks of nature are part of them, they dont cause them any harm or suffering so we see no reason to have the operations, if they of course choose to, then that is their choice.

YANBU. Our dd had an umbilical hernia - it seemed huge, as big as an egg. I had her referred privately at about 15 months and the consultant reassured me that it would right itself as she walked and ran more and her stomach muscles got stronger. I was very sceptical at the time and didn't believe him but it did right itself and by the time she was two it just looked like an "outie". She's 13 now and still has an outie. If it was any worse than an outie she would be very self conscious as a teenager - she's self conscious about all sorts of things I can't influence in spite of being incredibly beautiful - biased of course. If this hasn't righted itself at 5 I thing you should get it sorted for her - it's a minor op and probably needs only a light anaesthetic and compared to the potential unkind remarks she might face from her peers or the impact of not being the same as everyone else as she grows up I think you should go for it. Also I have a friend whose mother didn't get hers repaired and it popped out big time when she was pregnant and she's really cross that her mum didn't get it sorted when she was a child.

YANBU i've read somewhere that it can affect women's pregnancies but im not sure if that's true or not.

One of my DC's has one and the GP dismissed it as "nothing untoward and totally normal, just ignore it" only DC doesn't like it being touched so how can you ignore it? Not a lot I can really do about it now though!

think yancu too x hope it goes well