Funerals/unpaid leave....and 'respect'

[troisgarcons]

Run with me on this one before the pitchforks come out.

Many of us get to a certain age when funerals of friends parents (and our own parents) become more frequent. These are people who, had us in their houses growning up and quite often you still maintain a good relationship with.

Most of us that work have a certain flexibily, either to swap shifts or may be work a lunch hour and leave early etc if there is a childcare issue or medical appt.

However it's becoming more and more prevalent that if you verify there is a funeral you would like to attend (the only exceptions being parent/spouse/child) that you are expected to take unpaid leave.

There was a time when it was expected that a business would shut down for the afternoon of a funeral and every one went. Simply because its respectful.

Over the past three years, some long serving albeit retired staff where I work have passed on. The funerals were at 3pm, same time as the school hours finish. Only two staff were allowed to go to 'represent' despite lessons would have been easily covered.

There was a funeral recently I wanted to go to (parent of a dear friend) and I offered to swap 2 lunch breaks for an early getaway. Refused point blank and told to take unpaid leave as flexi time wasn't ever going to happen and I shouldnt ask for it.

Similarly, at BILS workplace (large blue chip company), a woman lost her husband and was told she would get 3 days paid leave to 'sort things' and she was expected back at her desk on the 4th day.

Im not suggesting people should become professional mourners, and seek to attend funerals for the hell of it/on a whim but where the heck has respect gone?

[MindtheGappp]

That's crazy, 3G.

We have often have 2 funerals a week at our church. It would be totally unreasonable for my employer or colleagues to allow me several hours a week off work. What if everyone else were to do that too?

I do go to most funerals at my church if they fall during the holidays, but I don't take time off. There are other ways of paying respects.

[C0smos]

I live overseas and I realise how generous UK employers are when it comes to time off.
Our policy is 3 days for the death of a parent, husband or wife or child! And yes they do enforce it.
My husband was lucky and got 3 days paternity leave when I had DS, I got a phone call from HR the day after I had him 6 weeks premature to say they weren't paying me anymore and did I want to use my annual leave up instead - nice!