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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you let your children wee in other people's gardens?

70 replies

LaVitaBellissima · 27/09/2011 19:47

Just interested.....

OP posts:

MamaMaiasaura · 27/09/2011 20:07

I don't let ds (3 years) wee in other peoples gardens, BUT he has at a good friends several times, tho never ever on anyones carpet which I would find more difficult

Also at a country park nearby they have a lovely wooden castle ontop of sanded area and I turned to find ds standing on the drawbridge peeing off the end with an audience very embarrassing and thankfully not repeated lol

msbuggywinkle · 27/09/2011 20:10

Depends. Some of my friends are happy for DC to wee in their gardens, in which case I don't see a problem. I don't encourage it in ours as you might get pecked or knocked over by an interested chicken!

troisgarcons · 27/09/2011 20:11

Depends really - rhubarb need wee .....

EggyAllenPoe · 27/09/2011 20:12

i think deliberately seeking out other peoples gardens to wee in is very strange.

what happens happens when you are talking about small kids who are just playing in another persons garden...

solidgoldbrass · 27/09/2011 20:14

A child-size bladder full of wee is not exactly nuclear waste, so I wouldn't be too bothered, particularly with newly-trained pre-schoolers.

aquashiv · 27/09/2011 20:14

Nothing like a wild wee. Why not?

aquashiv · 27/09/2011 20:15

when they were younger and in a friends big garden not like a patio one with small healthy plants ....

Proudnscary · 27/09/2011 20:16

What the actual fuck?

garlicnutty · 27/09/2011 20:17

Oh, I had this dilemma with one of my charges - 18mo! She was either going to have to wee in the street or out of sight behind a hedge that belonged to someone's garden. So I decided to go for the guttering option. At which point the householder came out, tore me off a strip for allowing such a public display of toddler weedom, and said "You should have let her go behind my hedge! What's wrong with my hedge? Is it not even good enough for a child to pee in???!!!"

Can't win, eh.

ConstanceNoring · 27/09/2011 20:22

No absolutely NOT.

I have never agreed with this 'wee anywhere' type of toilet training. Toilet training is learning that you have to be able to wait until you are in a toilet , not someone's garden, up against someone's car or up against some outdoor climbing apparatus on the school run as I witnessed this morning. Fucking out of order.

Ok, if the child is in training and is absolutely desperate then I would find a discreet bush or tree not in the path or full view of passers by.

SlinkyB · 27/09/2011 20:25

My SIL lets my 3yo nephew pee in their backgarden and doesn't see a problem with it. He recently did it in a friend's garden without their knowledge...strawberries were lovely though!

Original poster

LaVitaBellissima · 27/09/2011 20:29

sorry ran off to eat dinner!

but in someone you don't know's garden? I'd rather she'd knocked on the door and asked to use our toilet?

OP posts:

EggyAllenPoe · 27/09/2011 20:29

..i think i had my last ablutions au naturel about a month ago, with DD1 shouting 'Mummy! are you doing a wee! Mummy! Did you do a wee?? Mummy!!....

we were on a very long walk, and it was in a forest not someone's garden. It was on a nature reserve of the kind with scientists in the undergrowth, or up trees. I felt very paranoid, but didn't actually see anyone watching...

usualsuspect · 27/09/2011 20:32

Plenty of dogs piss up the bushes in my front garden ,so I'm not going to worry about a small child having a wee

PrettyCandles · 27/09/2011 20:33

It's ok if the householder has said so, not otherwise.

Accidents excluded, I don't allow children to wee in our garden. We have loos, potties and nappies.

(Though I've trained dh to wee in the compost heap, but he won't do it if any dc are around.)

meditrina · 27/09/2011 20:34

" What's wrong with my hedge? Is it not even good enough for a child to pee in???!!!"

Wonderful

EggyAllenPoe · 27/09/2011 20:35

help me visualise this op - how would she access your garden?

is there an alley behind your garden? a high gate? low fence? what sort of set up? I mean, just how obvious was it that that was your garden? How far out of her way would she have to go to take children to wee in it?

GColdtimer · 27/09/2011 20:37

Quite unrelated but dd1 pulled her pants down and nearly did a poo on the floor of a very posh patisserie in france once. As I was buying the cakes I turned to see her mid squat and I screeched "what are you doing". Dh and dh's friend scarpered and my friend couldn't move for laughing. I managed to drag her to the toilet in time much to the relief of the very stylish ladies in the shop She was 3 and a half (now 5 and a half) and it's her favourite story ever!

After that a wee in a friends garden is nothing to worry about.

EggyAllenPoe · 27/09/2011 20:38

i mean, i f i found someone in my garden i'd be rather [hm] because they'd have had to come in through my house, or opened my 6' back gate, braving the hound of Poe...

Original poster

LaVitaBellissima · 27/09/2011 20:40

EggyAllenPoe long road all Victorian terraced houses no gate, very small front gardens, some with small hedges, literally 1 metre between my window and the pavement.

OP posts:

Jamandham · 27/09/2011 20:41

No your teaching them bad habits. Would you wee in yours ?You can get arrested for seeing in public !

meditrina · 27/09/2011 20:41

You might all want to check whether your training is all being undermined by the DC's fathers.

I mentioned this to DH - two comments

a) how big is it? (I hope he means the garden) and
b) yes, of course you do.

twotesttickles · 27/09/2011 20:43

at twofalls DD's alfresco pooing.

NoNoNoMYDoIt · 27/09/2011 20:43

well my kids must be feral then. they drop their trousers / skirts and wee alfresco without so much as a glance at me to check whether it's ok. to be fair, DS (now 5) does ask if we are in the park now. and he will usually go inside when he's playing in our garden. however, if he is outdoors with his best friend (wherever they happen to be), the pair of them will just drop their trousers and take great delight in weeing wherever they are. his best friend's 3 yr old brother then joins in. and to complement the scene, my 2yr old DD will step out of her skirt and take her shoes and socks off, stand in exactly the same pose as the boys and follow suite. (she has learnt that not removing socks and shoes means very wet feet, hence the removal)...

feral - yes. harmless - yes (IMO). when they are still doing it at 13, i will worry...

Original poster

LaVitaBellissima · 27/09/2011 20:49

@ NoNoNo

DP whistly said how much he used to love weeing in his garden, that's where the difference is, I think, fine in your own or friends (who don't mind) gardens but not in a strangers garden

OP posts:

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