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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really confused about why a mum did this?

35 replies

JaneFonda · 27/09/2011 19:41

On Saturday, DS had his 5th birthday party which was pirate themed. Lots of his friends came, it was a really lovely day and there were no major incidents!

I'd bought a few bits and pieces (swords, hats etc.) for any children who had forgotten any, or who just didn't have time to get a costume ready - I have definitely been in that boat before!

DS's friend came about half an hour after the party had started, and by this time there was only a sword left for her to use, and her mum started actually shouting about how left out her DD would feel. Her DD didn't even seem to care, but the mum insisted on her leaving.

Poor DS asked if she could stay if he gave her his pirate hat so she could join in, but they left anyway.

I genuinely don't understand why! Was it such a crime of me to only have a pirate sword left? I wish this was a joke thread, but I'm pretty sure I witnessed a grown woman having a tantrum over a plastic sword.

Should I give her a ring or just leave it?

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 27/09/2011 19:43

I know people who are very quick to label everyone else 'excluders'.... trust me, phoning her won't make anything any better.

If you're confident you didn't exclude her child at all, then take no action at all, ignore, ignore, ignore.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 27/09/2011 19:43

She left?! Blimey, leave it. WHat a mad old woman. Her poor dd

AgentZigzag · 27/09/2011 19:44

I would give her a ring, but only because what she did sounds so outrageous that I'd be worried about what caused it.

You definately didn't, it was really thoughtful of you and your lovely DS to try and include her.

There must be something wrong somewhere, her poor DD.

FabbyChic · 27/09/2011 19:44

What a bitch, why turn up late if she did not want her child to feel left out, surely to christ turning up late when everything has already been going on for half an hour is bound to make any child feel left out.

I'd leave it she clearly is not worth it.

TheVermiciousKnid · 27/09/2011 19:44

You should have made her walk the plank!

GeraldineAubergine · 27/09/2011 19:45

you should make her walk the plank. :o

GeraldineAubergine · 27/09/2011 19:45

oops x post

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2011 19:45

agree with agentzigzag...

is she usually sane?

i would be wondering what had happened prior to the party that had put her so on edge and upset?
do you think she thought you'd got enough for everyone and had deliberately left them out? Confused

very weird.

TheVermiciousKnid · 27/09/2011 19:46
Grin

Great minds think alike! Or fools seldom differ?

GeraldineAubergine · 27/09/2011 19:46

great minds Vermicious, great minds :)

Original poster
JaneFonda · 27/09/2011 19:46

I was wondering about ringing her to make sure everything was okay, but I don't really know her too well (just from quick chats in the playground), and I don't want to seem as though I'm being rude/intrusive IYSWIM?

Then again, I can't really be bothered to get involved in petty things, I just wondered if it seemed as though I'd done something horrid that I'd overlooked.

OP posts:
PsychoThreadKiller · 27/09/2011 19:46

I wonder if the woman in question has issues around friendships (feeling left out) and was projecting? Or she could just be barking. Either way, it's not really your problem, from what you've posted you did nothing that justified her flounce.

AgentZigzag · 27/09/2011 19:46

Arrrg, great x-post me hearties Grin

HuwEdwards · 27/09/2011 19:47

Very odd behaviour, I would think she was mega-stressed or had 'issues'. Either way, I most certainly wouldn't be inclined to contact her. Given your post she was most decidedly in the wrong.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/09/2011 19:48

She, presumeably, knew it was a pirate-themed party, but hadn't put her dd in a costume - and it was your fault? Shock And then dragged the girl away? Poor little thing.

TheVermiciousKnid · 27/09/2011 19:48

(Apologies for derailing the thread but ... What is a pirate's favourite gadget?)

GypsyMoth · 27/09/2011 19:48

What did other parents make of it?

GeraldineAubergine · 27/09/2011 19:48

Seriously though, you should pop round to her house wearing an eyepatch and having drunk a litre of 'grog' and demand she shows you the sea captains secret map or you'll run her through. That will learn her to be a weird party ruining scurvy knave.

wompoopigeon · 27/09/2011 19:51

Sounds like she has ishoos way beyond the odd bit of pirate paraphenalia. I woud just leave her to it. Poor DD though.

PrettyCandles · 27/09/2011 19:51

Or maybe she lost it because whatever happened to make them so late was very upsetting.

I don't think you did anything wrong - if anything, you and your sweet ds really went the extra mile. If she was a friend friend, then I'd ask her if everything was OK. But as she isn't, I think you need to just let it slide.

HandMini · 27/09/2011 19:51

Loving Geraldine's contributions.

If you're not that close to her anyway, I would definitely just leave this situation alone, she sounds crazy.

Original poster
JaneFonda · 27/09/2011 19:53

It wasn't really in front of other parents; there were only a few there, and they were all out in the garden.

This literally happened in the hallway as soon as they'd stepped in. I'd noticed her DD wasn't dressed up, and apologised for only having a sword, but assumed she'd have fun anyway.

She looked really disgusted and said that her DD would feel left out and that they should leave. I did try to convince them to stay, DS wanted them to stay, but she said that her and DD would have a nicer day 'just the two of them'. Can't argue with that, I suppose, I just feel sad for her DD.

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 27/09/2011 19:56

I don't know - what is a pirate's favourite gadget?

GeraldineAubergine · 27/09/2011 19:57

perhaps her parrot had flown away just before the party.

Original poster
JaneFonda · 27/09/2011 19:58

Am loving the pirate related humour by the way. :o

OP posts: