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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my friend to bring me something back from her holiday?

18 replies

MuthaInsuperior · 27/09/2011 16:18

Ok not quite as bad as it sounds but my friend, although born in England has family in Bangladesh and is planning to go across and visit them sometime this year. Is it cheeky/insensitive to give her £10 to bring me something "Bangladeshi" (such as a locally made ornament) back? I love things from different parts of the world and Bangladesh is somewhere I'll probably never go myself so - reasonable?

Or is it a bit intrusive consider she's there to visit family etc?

OP posts:
keepingupwiththejoneses · 27/09/2011 16:20

YANBU if you are paying for it.

worraliberty · 27/09/2011 16:20

I think it's a bit cheeky...she'll probably be too busy and forget and that'll make her feel bad.

If you're anywhere near the East End of London, you can buy lots of stuff from Bangladesh on the markets.

nickschick · 27/09/2011 16:21

No I think shed like the challenge - its lovely that youd like something from her heritage and I cant imagine shed find it intrusive.

ThePumpkinKing · 27/09/2011 16:22

To be honest, anything that she can pick up for £10 is probably also easy enough to pick up here, on one of the markets in East London for example.

Unless you travel there yourself, I doubt that the item will have much significance/stand out appeal.

AuntiePickleBottom · 27/09/2011 16:22

Yanbu as you are Paying for her to bring something back.

I collect postcards so normally give family members and friends some cash to get postcards from different countries

worraliberty · 27/09/2011 16:22

Why is it lovely?

It'd drive me mad if I went to Ireland to visit family and ended up with a shopping list from friends.

It's different if I choose to bring back gifts, but otherwise I think it's cheeky.

MissTapestry · 27/09/2011 16:23

I'd love it if somebody gave me that challenge! As long as you don't put pressure on her to get something 'perfect' I don't think YABU

mumsamilitant · 27/09/2011 16:24

If she's your friend I'm sure she'd be delighted to bring you something back from her homeland, and you are giving her the money to do so.

As long as its not a life size model of a temple Grin

ENormaSnob · 27/09/2011 16:24

Depends how close a friend she is IMO

I was asked to bring something back from hols once and it pissed me off tbh.

Keeping their money seperate, ensuring room and weight in case, actually sourcing the item. Couldn't really be arsed with the hassle tbh.

OchAyeTheNooPal · 27/09/2011 16:24

I wouldn't mind if a friend asked me to do this. As long as you give the money upfront and aren't too demanding about what she brings back then I don't see a problem.

slavetofilofax · 27/09/2011 16:25

I'd do it for my friend.

Blu · 27/09/2011 16:25

I think this is absolutely fine, especially if you don't ask for anything heavy or bulky - I know to my cost that family visits can often result in enormous quantities of gifts for extended networks of relatives being lugged back and forth in baggage.
There are some beautiful cotton block-printed fabrics avaialble in bangladesh - not sure how expensive. Oh, and embroidery done with the threads of old saris.

zukiecat · 27/09/2011 16:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bluesue26 · 27/09/2011 16:27

I suppose it depends on your relationship with your friend. I used to work with a girl exactly like your friend - born in England but had family in Bangladesh and she would have loved it but then she was the kind who'd do anything for anyone. It's not like your asking her for booze and fags from duty free :)

pigletmania · 27/09/2011 16:35

Yanbu at all, you are paying for it. I would do that fir my friend

TakeThisOneHereForAStart · 27/09/2011 16:44

I wouldn't mind.

A work colleague once brought me some maple candy back from Canada because I'd told him I'd been reading about it for years and had never been able to work out if it was made like a boiled sweet or like fudge or like those mints made from sugar.

He brought the kind like a boiled sweet and it was nice, but a few years later I made friends with a Canadian woman on a book forum and she was horrified to realise I thought that was 'real' maple candy. She sent some of the proper kind, made from sugar, and it is probably the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. I would actually emigrate just to get more of it.

Which is off the point, the point is, my colleague was kind and I appreciated his effort, so I'd gladly do the same thing.

The only think I wouldn't like is being asked to get something duty free, alcohol etc, because I never know how much of what it is okay to bring back.

MuthaInsuperior · 27/09/2011 16:51

Ah she'd never buy anything alcoholic anyway and I'd never ask her to - totally against her beliefs.

But she is the kind of the person who'd do anything for anyone - she puts herself out for others all the time (I often tell her off for it! lol) so I don't think she'd mind but I also know she wouldn't refuse even if she didn't really want to so I don't want to put her if that position if I am being unreasonable IYSWIM?

OP posts:
maddy68 · 27/09/2011 17:30

I wold bloody hate being asked as I am am ALWAYS up to my luggage allowance and added to that I hate shopping!

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