To insist that my parents take this money?

[megapixie]

My parents are in serious debt and are trying to get out of it. They are both in deep depression and not in a good way at all. My Mum rang me in tears today saying she has a letter from the water providers saying if they don't get £500 in 7 days they will be taking my parents to court. The bill is £400 and something but are going to charge 500 for court fees.

I haven't got the full £500. But by the end of the I should be able to get about £450 together for them. They haven't got anybody else who could lend them money.

She says she doesn't want to take my money but I am not prepared to see them go to court in their current mental state, especially when thinking I could have given them most of the money.

WIBU to insist that they take this money from me considering that if the situation was reversed, they would do this for me in a heartbeat?

in your shoes I would insist too

though it would be a little dependent on why they are in such debt

YANBU, go ahead. The thing about water bills is that the supplier cannot cut off the supply, it is against the law, so while this might not be the most pressing of their bills, the court case would not be at all good for their mental health.

Are they on a debt-restructuring payment plan? It could help make things a bit easier to deal with if not.

With the timeframe being such, YANBU to insist. Sounds like this could be the tip of the iceberg though, how likely is it that they have paid their other utilities bills? If you can, go along with them to the CAB. You cannot give them ongoing financial support but if you want to help, support them in finding the right advice and financial management plan.

Could you get SS or a mental health charity involved? Mind for example. Then they would have an advocate (for the debts) but also an impartial person to look at debts/bills and help them plan.

YANBU, can you ring the debt collector and just pay it on her behalf?

They have set up a repayment plan but haven't been able to pay anything into it yet.

About 8 years ago they had a conservatory built and added the money to the mortgage. They can't remortgage it again because they're too old so have £800 a month to pay on that and I'm not sure about the rest. Since then they have both lost and gained new jobs but had to borrow money and pay with credit and just have more going out than coming in.

Has made me vow to never have an overdraft or credit card.

yanbu - i would want them to take it too!
Make it clear that you want it back (x amount a month but obv there will be no interest) but that it would out YOUR mind at rest etc if they acceoted it so they dont feel so bad about it? :)

I would strongly encourage them 'but at the end of the day you can't enforce it; they're adults. Is this 'the thin end of 'the wedge? If this situation is going to occur time and again then they need to consider selling their house and downsizing , because it sounds like they are simply living beyond their means

Wowzers. They must have not paid a water bill for years to owe £400. You need to establish if Is this their only debt or are they in a similar position with other stuff

The national Debt helpline is really very helpful. I'm speaking from personal experience.

Give them a ring and see what they say.

They are not going to be made bankrupt for £500, it really isn't all that bad. It just needs to be managed without panicking.

Tbh it may make them feel worse taking money from thier daughter