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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have expected a thank you for this ?

19 replies

Emilizz · 26/09/2011 14:23

My teenage dd (14 yrs) & some of her schoolfriends are due to take part in a musical later this year. The rehearsals take place in a venue located in an area of the city centre which is considered to be unsafe to walk around in.

As a result parents were told to ensure that the children are picked up promptly and not left standing outside for lifts. Yesterday, after leaving the venue, one of the girls parents wasn't there to collect her as she had mistakenly told her parents that rehearsals were ending an hour later than they did.

As I didn't want her to be left alone on the street ( venue was now closed) I offered to drive her home as there was no parking on the street to wait with her until her parents arrived. She had no credit on her mobile & used mine to get her mums permission. I've met the parents twice at party drop offs etc but don't know them really.

When I drove her home, it took me a few minutes to turn my car round. During this time, neither of the parents came out to say thanks and I didn't even get a text. I live a 45 minute drive in the opposite direction so this used up a big chunk of the afternoon.

I did this because I would not have left her alone in this area and also because I hope that someone would do the same for dd if required. However I'm annoyed that her parents didn't have the manners to say thanks.

OP posts:
IggyPup · 26/09/2011 14:24

Bloody ingrates!

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2011 14:25

Both tied up with child care of younger siblings?

Failing some such excuse YANBU. Dreadful.

Sandalwood · 26/09/2011 14:25

They were in?

bagelmonkey · 26/09/2011 14:25

They should have thanked you. But you didn't do it for the thanks, you did it because it was the right thing to do.

Andrewofgg · 26/09/2011 14:26

In fact even if they really could not thank you at once a text or even a real live phone call was to be expected.

Emilizz · 26/09/2011 14:27

Yes , the dd said that they were both in. She's an only child so no younger siblings.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 26/09/2011 14:28

Then they are beneath contempt, but you did the right thing.

picnicbasketcase · 26/09/2011 14:28

She borrowed your phone to ring them, they let you drive her home rather than get off their arses and do it themselves, and they didn't even bother to thank you? Ungrateful fuckers.

Emilizz · 26/09/2011 14:52

Thanks for the replies. I feel like such a mug but don't think I had much choice.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 26/09/2011 14:59

You had no choice. It's what parents do. At least the decent ones.

CurrySpice · 26/09/2011 15:01

They should have apologised profusely, started driving towards you so that your drive was reduced, and thanked you on bended knee

And no, I'm not being sarky. I would be very grateful indeed if someone did that for me and would give the dd a right bollocking as well

gigglepin · 26/09/2011 15:03

yes, rude id say.
I looked after a friends baby all day on Saturday for her 9am till 6.30 pm, becuase friend was tired, dropped baby off and her dh answered the door, i unlaoded the car and said bye, and he just waved me off, ive since had a text from her to say she has a new mobile number, but no thanks, kiss my arse or owt.....im miffed frankly.

macdoodle · 26/09/2011 15:05

Oh come on, you took the girl home, because you're nice, think thats it really.
TBH sometimes I can be a bit scatty, I may have been busy with DD2, on phone etc, not seen you outside, and just slipped my mind to text to thank you (though like to think I would have). Shit happens.
Did they actually know you live in the opposite direction, did their DD tell them, they may have just considered it was nice of you to drop her off.

complexnumber · 26/09/2011 15:17

The girl was in the position she was in because of her own mistakes and being badly organised. You helped her out of the whole she dug herself, you didn't help her parents.

Some time in life a person becomes responsible for themselves and their own thank yous, their parents don't do it for them any more. You might consider this to be at the age of 16, 18, when they get married; the parents in question might consider it to be 14.

CurrySpice · 26/09/2011 15:20

That's ridiculous complex. The OP did do the parents the favour of not having to go out and fetch her in a panic

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 26/09/2011 15:27

Did they realise that you really put yourself out? Do they even have your number?

SuchProspects · 26/09/2011 16:26

I think YABabitU. I would have gone out to thank you for bringing my daughter home. But if I was giving the lift it's the girl I would expect to showing the gratitude, and if the parents had come out to thank me but the girl hadn't bothered, that would have annoyed me not the other way around. Also, them not coming out to thank you doesn't mean they wouldn't have done the same for your daughter.

Emilizz · 26/09/2011 16:41

OP here. Thanks for further replies. It's good to get a variety of viewpoints. Yes parents have my number and know where I live.
I live approx 20 miles away from them. Traffic was heavy yesterday as there was a sporting event on the outskirts of the city.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 26/09/2011 16:50

Seems for some manners have gone out the window

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