To Tell The School to Take it up With XH

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At dd's school they have water bottles in class. They are not allowed juice in case it spills because it would be sticky. They can have juice with their lunch though. About once a week XH will take her to school and always gives her juice. The school are understandably not happy and I am fed up reminding him of the rules. He is very much of the I'll do what I want camp.

Next time the school complain WIBU to tell them to take it up with him as I am fed up being made to feel like a baddie for something which is outwith my control.

Those of you who send juice or squash- please don't unless you know the bottles aren't on tables! Spilt squash is sooo sticky, and juice is wasp attracting- please keep those drinks for break and lunch.

I write a letter/email to the teacher and cc the head. Point out that it's your ex who is sending your DD into school with juice and that they need to bring it up directly with him, as it's out of your control. Also say if they continue to bring it up with you then you will consider it to be harrassment and will complain to the governors/LEA/whoever it is you complain to.

Gotcha, so its the Monday after his W/E, when its an issue?

YANBU I have a DH but it is always me they ring even though we both work they do the home number first, then my mobile, eventually if its urgent they try DH pisses me off at the assumption that all mums sit around all day waiting for school to call them and do nothing else

Usually yes honey but once when he had her midweek he sent her in with a different bottle just to piss me off.

Absolutely tell them to take it up with him. He is using this to control you.

I'd write and ask for a note to be put on your daughter's record that if they are ringing about juice, they are are to ring her father because it's only him that sends it. Most schools have computerised record systems now and it should be possible to flag this up when they look up numbers before ringing home.

Don't bother with the homework diary- the person dealing with the juice is unlikely to be reading the diary at the same time (or even be the same person).

How old is your DD? If her bottle is being checked by someone at school then she may well have the opportunity herself to inform the 'checker' that it is her Dad who is breaking the rules.

A couple of children in my class last year were always late when it was their Dads bringing them in. I told one of them that I'd asked the attendance person to write the letter just to him as the child was always on time when it was Mum's turn (parents were together but Mum sometimes had to leave for work earlier). Dad received the letter and was very rarely late again!

With another child the Dad regularly kept the child off school after a Dad night/weekend. We always knew where the child was so telephoned the Dad or the Dad's Mum as it wasn't fair when the Mum did her utmost to support the school.

Aside from encouraging your DD to empty her squash bottle at school, perhaps she could negotiate leaving her bottle at school on the days she goes to her Dad so that it could be filled from the school fountain the next morning. Although teachers wouldn't want 30 children filling their bottles each morning I'm sure most teachers wouldn't want 1 child being singled out thanks to their Dad's idea of 'fun' either.

Talkingnonsense, dilute sugar free squash isn't very sticky and DD is 10 and quite capable of wiping her table if she makes a mess.

Yanbu, they shouldn't keep hassling you about it.

She's 6.

Startail, it's when it gets on the books! Water is bad enough. If chdn don't drink water, they can wait till break!