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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my friend this is a bad idea?

49 replies

cookielove · 25/09/2011 11:09

I have been informed by my friend that she is going to get a puppy (lab), i don't think its a good idea for several reasons;

  • she lives with 3 cats which are very shy, but she plans to give this to relatives so they won't get stressed, aside from the fact they will be moving house, to a house with cats already in situ.

-she has a very small house, open plan down stairs, she could in theory baby gate it the stairs, and the kitchen but it would be very awkward to do so, she also a really small garden which is patio'd standing room only really.

-both she and her partner work all day, out early and back late, so the puppy would be alone all day, can you crate a puppy all day? i didn't think you could. She wants to get walkers in and her parent to help during the day, but literally only in to clean up the mess so kind of pop in and out. (poor pup)

-her partner wants one cause he is lonely WTF??

-puppies are expensive, she's looking at labs, labs need loads of attention, chew on everything, need lots of love and attention.

-they go away every other weekend to visit partners family, i assume they would take the puppy with them.

I know i should just leave it, but i really think she needs to realise the reality of what a puppy needs, she usually jumps into things without thinking about it, and then ends up back tracking when it all turns tits up, poor puppy.

So should i say something, and risk a big argument but hey save a puppy from being neglected?

So am aibu to be worried?

OP posts:
Original poster
cookielove · 25/09/2011 11:46

OH MY GOD its too late she bought it, there and then!! i thought she might come back and think about it get some advice but nope she has bought it. I can see why she sent a picture the puppy is adorable, she does not think about the consequences.

He partner is lonely in the evenings when she is out at classes and he misses his family dog, and those are the only reasons for getting it.

The walkers will be coming in on two days a week, her dad on the other 2 and on fridays it will be on its own!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
cookielove · 25/09/2011 12:00

Apparently her partner is all excited and chatty now Hmm likes that all that matters Smile

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 25/09/2011 12:08

Good god :( poor dog

What kind of breeder sold a puppy "on the spot"? Poor thing - nothing more you can do cookie :(

HeavyHeidi · 25/09/2011 12:09

she will give away her cats to get a dog? and then will give the dog away to have a baby..

I don't have problems with the rest of your points, we had cats when we took the puppies and they love to travel with us to see the IL's. But she CAN'T leave a puppy home alone for the whole day! I live abroad, but if you did that here, the animal protection would take the dog away.

Original poster
cookielove · 25/09/2011 12:12

Yes she will give away the cats, i do find this upsetting do you not?

OP posts:
Original poster
cookielove · 25/09/2011 12:13

I am actually really disappointed in her Sad

OP posts:
huffythethreadslayer · 25/09/2011 12:14

4boys...I've pm'd you in the hope that I'm not being like this twatty woman...but advice is requested. If you think I'm being a cheeky biatch for asking questions, just ignore...this kind of thread always makes me sweat and panic about whether I'm thinking about the dog ownership thing properly.

4boysthatilove · 25/09/2011 12:16

huffy, got your pm and replied - no problem, very happy to help/advise :)

Cannot believe a breeder just sold a puppy there and then, wheres the rolling eyes icon when I need it??!!

Feel very sad now, and off to give my 2 lovely labs a cuddle, while thinking about this poor little puppy :(

ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld · 25/09/2011 12:42

"Cannot believe a breeder just sold a puppy there and then, wheres the rolling eyes icon when I need it??!!"

I think Hmm and Angry would be suitable.

OP I can't believe how selfish your friend and her DP are being. That poor puppy Sad I just hope they don't do it too much damage before they end up giving it away, which seems to be inevitable.

Original poster
cookielove · 25/09/2011 12:47

Ok, update, the puppy is 6 weeks now, she can have it at 8, she won't tell us how much i assume because we know how broke she is, and will point that out which she won't like.

She clearly has not thought about the other costs;

-food/treats
-vet
-injections
-lead and toys
-walkers
-insurance
-crate/bed

any thing else??

OP posts:
NormaStanleyFletcher · 25/09/2011 12:56

The cost of repairing her kitchen/furniture when the poor wee thing trashes her house. How.sad

Original poster
cookielove · 25/09/2011 13:47

Her house is open plan, assuming she won't put baby gates across the stairs and the kitchen the puppy will have full reign of the house, i assume she will shut the bedroom doors, so the puppy can go up the stairs and onto the landing, there will be wires that the puppy can reach, and lots of things for her to chew. I hope she will puppy proof her house.

I really think she has not thought this through.

OP posts:
HeavyHeidi · 25/09/2011 18:50

of course I find it very upsetting that she sees her cats as disposable, hence the first sentence. A person who can do that can easily decide to get rid of the puppy too, of it's no longer a cute puppy.

also to your list - training. Not only money, but time. When is she planning to train and socialize the puppy if she is working full time and spending all evenings taking courses, like you wrote?

Andrewofgg · 25/09/2011 19:39

DBF Where are you when your forum needs you?

Tell them, please, what an appalling idea this is. You are an expert. Please tell them.

Bunbaker · 25/09/2011 19:43

Can you print this thread off and show it to her?

DirtyDessert · 25/09/2011 19:56

I don't get angry often but this has made me see red.

Your friends are twats. I have a Labrador and am at home all day - ok I do some retail therapy sometimes and the odd liquid lunch with the girls.

To leave a puppy in a crate all day is cruel. They need at least one but preferably two hours of exercise a day, socializing with other dogs, mental stimulation and company. What your friends are doing is appalling. you are absolutely right to be concerned.

They sound childish and selfish.

NorksAreMessy · 25/09/2011 20:15

Where is Val / dogs ?????

I am appalled at the selfishness of some people.
My SIL has just done something similar, although she is a SAHM, so will be there for the dog, but when she was here staying amongst our three pooches was slightly appalled at hair, barking, licking, price of food, insurance etc.
BUT DID IT ANYWAY.

I do wish dogs started life smelly, farty, scabby, messes and developed into cutesy puppies the longer you looked after them.
That would sort out the people who wanted a DOG from those who just wanted something cute to look at.

Am v.v.v.v. cross

Andrewofgg · 25/09/2011 20:20

NorksAreMessy you put it so well.

Andrewofgg · 25/09/2011 20:22

Hit SEND too soon.

I don't really like dogs (although Labs in the right homes with the right owners are lovely animals) but I cannot abide cruelty to animals and this is that. A truly dreadful idea.

Original poster
cookielove · 25/09/2011 21:55

Sorry the way you worded it made me confused Blush - heavyheidi

Also i don't know if she will be putting in a crate all day, but she is the kind of person that might seeing as she hasn't thought this through.

She is definitely being a twat, i will be seeing her tomorrow hopefully i can knock some sense in her.

Like i've said previously she won't listen but i will try.

OP posts:
FairPhyllis · 26/09/2011 04:36

The people who live in the flat underneath us did this. They bought a lab puppy and left it in the flat all day by itself, every week day. It cried and cried all day - it did this for several months. I was working from home then and it was awful to hear it all day but there was nothing we could do.

It is totally unreasonable and in fact cruel to have a dog, especially a puppy, if there is no-one to be with it most of the time. If she cannot be with the dog or put it into a doggy daycare then she should not have it.

Fecklessdizzy · 26/09/2011 10:05

Aaargh! Angry

Your mate's a moron!

Sorry, but puppies need company - dogs are pack animals - and without it will cry all day and demolish her house. In six months she will have a full-size, untrained vandle of a dog with issues which she will then want to foist on an animal shelter as she can't cope ...

I had to take in a puppy which DP's half-witted next door neighbour had brought for her kids and then left shut in the garden all day everyday because it weed on the floor and she was too dense to house train it.

Grrr. ( sorry, deep breaths ... )

QuietTiger · 26/09/2011 11:12

DBF/Val and Scuttlebutter are probably like me regarding this thread. So fucking angry, we can't type a rational response for a while.

People like the OP's friend are why we have to do all the rescue we do, Cats and dogs. Because people are self centred, ignorant, stupid morons who don't think through the consequences of their actions because "it's all about their needs". They believe that animals are disposable items, that when they get bored of them, they are throw away. People like that, we can't actually deal with, because they are NOT interested in what we have to say, or the welfare of the animals involved, because it's all about THEM.

Bluntly, OP, if your friend was my friend, I wouldn't have piss-arsed about, she would have got the full force of my tounge and my proper thoughts on the matter. I can say that categorically, because I've done it to someone. (They are no longer my friend, but they also don't have the puppy).

Your friend, OP, is a self centred, selfish MORON, who quite frankly needs to have some sense kicked into her with a steel-capped size 12 boot.

whatsallthehullaballoo · 26/09/2011 11:23

Get her a copy of Marley and Me......She may change her mind!!

Seriously though - she will not keep the dog longer than a year. It will be way too much work for them. Really irresponsible Angry

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