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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hurt to have received birthday present of 2x (70% off) Tesco saucepans

55 replies

specialagentmeh · 25/09/2011 10:39

From PIL, so at least not from husband. Or AIB very Ungrateful.

8 months Pg and not enjoying cooking at all. Also already have perfectly good same sized saucepans which barely fit in overstuffed kitchen cupboards, which surely they have noticed on their weekly visit.

OP posts:
Original poster
specialagentmeh · 25/09/2011 11:14

Custardo - hope you are okay!
ikiboo - Look at it this way, your IL see you as a fun loving WKD drinking party girl. Mine see me as drudge housewife who loves saucepans

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 25/09/2011 11:14

Saving them and giving them back at Christmas would make you look really silly imho.

I think yabu.

Santac · 25/09/2011 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 25/09/2011 11:23

I always get tat, usually disguised in a stocking at xmas, last year my bonus prize was a wooden spoon, you know the 29p ones from Wilkinsons, my mil is a gem... when her only gc was born she got her 1 pack of Asda baby vest 2.75p... I have no issue with practical gifts, I often ask for them, and its nothing to do with being skint either, what I don't get is the submissive nastiness of it all!

pettyprudence · 25/09/2011 11:25

ooh I'm after some new pans if you would like to re-gift them Grin

GoEasyPudding · 25/09/2011 12:58

I remember reading that Nancy Regan used to regift like mad from the White House vaults. International relations are kept lubricated by symbolic gift giving from one nation to another so apparently she would give her grandkids random objects that were not for kids, like a hand stitched tribal robe or something like that.
She used to regift people the very thing they had given her as well.

Random info for you all there...

banana87 · 25/09/2011 13:02

Overall, it's the thought that counts. They thought to buy you something (they thought was nice) for your birthday, and for that you should be grateful. You can't help if you are disappointed or upset, and who knows what % of that is caused by being hormonal. Return the saucepans and put the money towards something nicer (or practical, like nappies?).

squeakytoy · 25/09/2011 13:07

Do you normally enjoy cooking? If so, then they probably thought they were getting you a gift that they had put some thought into.

I have the opposite problem. I love cooking, and would die for a decent set of sabatier knives or similar, but my husband refuses to buy me a present that is "for the house"...

googietheegg · 25/09/2011 13:07

My parents just sent a card (a week late) for my husband's 40th and they've never mentioned it since, although I know they'd be calling me if I didn't post a present for something or other...
Presents are a minefield I say. Saucepans are a pretty shit gift though, but hopefully just a bit practical-but-thoughtless rather than vindictive.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 25/09/2011 13:09

It is rubbish, but my own parents didnt even send a card for my 40th this year. Sometimes you just have to be grateful that people even vaguely thought about you.

cory · 25/09/2011 13:19

People who think of £20 quid saucepans as tat obviously have rather different expectations from me...

Are you sure they knew you don't enjoy cooking? I would have been delighted by that gift, but never quite knew what to do with all the smellies and bubble baths showered on me, so to speak, by wellmeaning ILs. I would never have thought of being hurt though, I was touched that they took the trouble to buy me something they thought would be nice.

CheshireDing · 25/09/2011 13:58

I would be gutted by this gift. Firstly because I hate cooking and secondly do they think it's the 1950's or something!

They would be straight off to the charity shop if my DH didn't go mad for them - which he probably would because he loves cooking :)

cory · 25/09/2011 14:02

Just noticed that we currently have posts from people being insulted, hurt and gutted by being bought gifts.

I would hate to do that to somebody.

Grin
whackamole · 25/09/2011 14:12

My dad bought me for my birthday a washing line. A pretty expensive one, but a washing line nonetheless! He has been trying to buy me one for 3 years as he clearly thought the one we already had was not good enough Hmm. Every year I have told him I'd actually rather have something I want than need.

notnowImreading · 25/09/2011 14:14

I've got one of those pans. It's the best pan I've ever bought. It was £20 even with the money off so two of those make a pretty generous gift. Even if you're not a cooking fan, I'm pretty sure you have to cook sometimes so eventually they will be useful. I on the other hand got a box of couscous ('because you like foreign food') and a packet of paper napkins (bottle green with gold fleur-de-lys) for my birthday, excellent gifts being ever our watchword in the notnow family.

notnowImreading · 25/09/2011 14:15

And last year I got a washing up bowl. We have a dishwasher. However, I used it to make the Xmas cake so even that came in handy.

brighthair · 25/09/2011 14:23

One of my Christmas presents from my dad was an all singing all dancing torch Grin to keep by my front door in case of a power cut. In 4 years I have never had a power cut. Until he bought me the bloody torch and I stumbled round in the dark to find it. I think his words were " told you so"

Firawla · 25/09/2011 14:29

yabu its not that crap of a gift its useful and atleast they tried to get you something! clearly they didnt realise you will read so much into it. i doubt it was given with the sentiment of being stuck in the 50s, you are only good for cooking and housework blah blah... they probably thought they were being nice giving the gift! bit spoilt to react in this way imo.

MrsWifty · 25/09/2011 18:57

Early on in my relationship with my mother-in-law I was desperately trying to think of polite small talk and seized upon a copy of the Lakeland catalogue which had come through her door. "Oh I love this!" I said, but clearly failed to properly explain that it was firmly in the sense of laughing at tat. Every year since, I've been given some unitasker from it, often Christmas themed. Yuletide avocado slicer anyone?

exoticfruits · 25/09/2011 19:12

I wouldn't call Lakeland 'tat'.Hmm

My mother made it very clear that a present for the house wasn't a present for her-I do the same.

pigletmania · 25/09/2011 19:46

Thats perfectly acceptable from parents/PIL but not from dp/dh. Tell you what, my mum gave me my Christmas present 5 months early, a saucepan!

prettybird · 25/09/2011 19:58

To add insult to injury (re dh's present from his mum of M&S "remainder" jumpers), his mum gave some of her grandchildren but not our ds laptops from Christmas, so it's not as if she's short of money.

Although, it's not the value that pisses him off, it's the lack of thought :(

elegangle · 25/09/2011 19:59

For my 30th my in laws bought me a 7.99 cookbook 6 months late. It was supposed to be a cookery course! From the same in laws my SIL for her 30th had a champagne celebration in a box in the West End. Sometimes I think they like her more than me!!!

Vicbic · 25/09/2011 20:17

For my 30th my mother got me her old vacuum cleaner... The one she ordered for me didn't arrive in time so she gave me her old one and kept the new one when it came!!!

MrsWifty · 25/09/2011 20:30

Exotic - tat in the sense of lots of good quality, but ultimately cupboard clutter stuff, like this banana guard:

www.lakeland.co.uk/10380/Banana-Guard

Or this mango splitter:

www.lakeland.co.uk/10294/OXO-Good-Grips-Mango-Splitter

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