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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This is not an AIBU or maybe it is, BUT I am interested in others opinions.

59 replies

TheLadyEvenstar · 24/09/2011 23:40

I will not be typing every detail as it is painful to type so sorry for any mistakes.

Last Monday I collected DS2 from school, as we left the main security door slammed shut and took the top off of my finger, just the fleshy part behind the nail. My nail remained although was black and there was one heck of a lot of blood.

Anyway the long and short of it is I have had reconstructive surgery on said finger.

The entire staff have been extremely concerned about me and have bent over backwards to accomadate me with DS2 needing to be in school earlier as I have had hospital appts. The head asked what I would like to see happen and I explained I felt the lock needed moving and the hydraulic arm needed to be stronger as I believe the wind had blown the door onto my finger.

He has done this, infact he hasn't just had the lock moved he has had it changed to a magnetic strip and had a more powerful arm fitted.

I have had numerous people ask/tell me to sue the school - I won't. I have many reasons for this.

1- When I was growing up this school kept us in food and clothes - My dad was disabled and mum worked there.

2- They gave DS1 a great education

3- I am hoping DS2 gets the same level of education

4- It was an accident, nobody is to blame

5- Suing the school will not change what has happened whats done is done.

So AIBU for having this attitude? no it shouldn;t hae happened thats why its called an accident and thankfully it was me and not a child.

OP posts:

WoodBetweenTheWorlds · 25/09/2011 00:35

Of course yanbu. You have made the right decision. Sadly, others might see this as an opportunity to screw the school for as much as you could get. :(

pissedrightoff · 25/09/2011 00:40

Glad to see people like you still exist, people with the attitude of 'Accidents happen'

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/09/2011 00:47

i just wish it would stop throbbing for 30 seconds!!!

OP posts:

rockinhippy · 25/09/2011 01:03

I'm in a similar Dilemma over an accident I had at a local hospital last year, so do know exactly where you are coming from & NO YADNBU, as you say accidents happen & the School have done all they can to make sure it doesn't happen again, so theres nothing to gain by suing them bar perhaps money, but leave that to the greedy toe rags that will sue at the drop of a hat we've had people sue in our area for hurting themselves in the parents race at sports day - I kid you not so be proud of yourself for not being a money grabber & doing the right thing :)

I just wish the local NHS trust responsible for correcting what caused my accident (broken ribs & specs etc) where half as good as your school have been, I HATE the idea of suing the NHS, but so far no one has listened & its an accident waiting to happen again & again & close to a dept for vulnerable people - which leaves me with a nasty taste in my mouth, as I feel its probably the only way to go

rockinhippy · 25/09/2011 01:08

PS - are you taking Arnica - if not I'd recommend doing so - I had a bizzarre accident with my thumb the other week - hoovering badly bruised & fractured & looked like I'd loose the nail - used Arnica from day one & its really speeded up the healing, still a bit sore, but strapping off, can use it again & bruising only mild - & my nail looks like it will be fine - thats in just over 2 weeks, so I'm very impressed with it - I've only used the cream in the past

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/09/2011 01:21

oh you can get tablet form???

OP posts:

rockinhippy · 25/09/2011 01:49

yes, I got it from Holland & Barrat

ZonkedOut · 25/09/2011 02:59

YANBU, I'm glad to see some common sense in a situation like this. Accidents happen, and I'm sure nobody even thought the door was a problem until it happened to you. I hope you heal well.

Rockinhippy, I knew someone in a similar situation with the NHS, it was a medical mistake rather than an accident, though it had a permanent effect on him, and he was going to sue simply because they wouldn't even listen to his concerns that it could happen again to someone else.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 25/09/2011 06:53

You can also get arnica from boots.

Well done for not sueing. You have gained so much respect I think from the school and here for dealing with the matter logically. I think had you sued you would damage your reputation at the school.

NinkyNonker · 25/09/2011 08:49

Why would you be being unreasonable?!

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/09/2011 09:11

Ninky, I have lost count of the number of people who think I should sue tbh. So I thought maybe I was being unreasonable by not doing so.

OP posts:

BellaBearisWideAwake · 25/09/2011 09:14

I think you should make an advert ad show it on daytime television:

"injured in an accident that WASN'T YOUR FAULT?! oh you poor thing!"

Groovee · 25/09/2011 09:17

You poor thing. I'm so glad you are ok and that things have been rectified by the school.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/09/2011 09:19

Bella, You made me giggle. If only more people could realise that accidents do happen and no they shouldn't and oddly enough thats why they are called accidents and not deliberates.

Maybe then insurance premiums wouldn't be so high and this country wouldn;t be in such a state financially in some sectors.

OP posts:

BrawToken · 25/09/2011 09:20

YANBU not to sue. Good on ya!

worraliberty · 25/09/2011 09:21

Glad you're not suing.

I absolutely hate these ambulance chasing 'No win, no fee' companies.

They're part of why our kids can't enjoy the sort of care free activities that we did as kids, because schools are so bloody scared of being sued the second a child hurts itself.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/09/2011 09:24

Worra, DS1's school took bike maintenance off the extra curricular lessons because a child hurt - not cut - their hand on a spanner and the parents threatened to sue. The child had been playing with the tools ffs it was his own fault for not listenening.

OP posts:

doublemuvver · 25/09/2011 09:26

Good for you! I really rate your reasons for not suing, life is about the bigger picture sometimes. I really hope your finger gets better soon.

worraliberty · 25/09/2011 09:26

NO NO NO! Have you learnt nothing?

Nothing is down to personal responsibility anymore. Everything is everybody else's fault

bananamam · 25/09/2011 09:30

I honestly find it amazing that some people's first reaction would be to sue

Of course YANBU, I would have reacted the same and never even thought the money side was an option

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/09/2011 09:33

Worra ooppss I got it wrong again.

So I should sit here and repost asking how to go about suing them for every penny, not listen when people tell me not to over react as it was an accident?

OP posts:

wonkylegs · 25/09/2011 10:15

Yay YADNBU when I had a fall last year and damaged my knee badly I found it infuriating how many people felt I should sue the shop where I fell. I fell on a concrete floor ... The important part of that sentence being 'I' , it was a complete accident and the first aider was very good but really pissed me off that the first people who came over to help we're mentioning suing before they even helped me off the floor
Quite badly damaged knee (still not quite right) but it was an accident and could have happened anywhere

freybean · 25/09/2011 12:54

yanbu

i had this last week, had new brakes fitted to my car, but the car didn't feel right. dp went to take the car back and just when he got of a roundabout the front tyre came off.

have to say the garage were really good (do think they were scared of being sued). they picked the car up, took dp to the train station so he could go to work. the damaged caused was nearly £1000 to fix no question of payment.

dp said that when they got the car it was the same bloke who fitted the brakes, had tears in his eyes when he saw dd's car seat!

everyone was telling me to sue because 'what if dd was in the car' - she wasn't.

'what if dp was on the motorway' - he wasn't

do hope the pain eases up soon

belgo · 25/09/2011 12:59

YANBU. I know two children who have had very similar accidents, one in school, the other at home, both required surgery and hospital stay. The doors didn't even look dangerous, it was simply an accident in both cases.

Original poster

TheLadyEvenstar · 25/09/2011 13:38

This is my point.

Years ago people had accidents, got dealt with in hospital if needed, but then carried on with their lives.

It sickens me when someone has an accident now and the first thing they do is see £££ signs. I am a grown up, I may have (but didn't) had to have the tip amputated to the first knuckle but you know what it would not have ruined my life, it would have taken some getting used to BUT I still have my life.

If I sued the school what would it actually acheive? school funding being strained even further, insurance premiums getting higher, relations with the school being tense etc it wouldn;t give me my original finger tip back would it?

Just as when a nurse overdosed my dad with morphine costing him his life suing them wouldn;t have given me back my dad. He was a very ill man and as much as I loved him and still do, accidents do happen.

OP posts:

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