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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pathetically tearful about my oldest going off to uni?

39 replies

PrincessTamTam · 24/09/2011 11:07

I have been tearing up and making him hug me all week, and I literally sob every time my 3yo watches Toy Story 3... Is this normal? Or a complete overreaction?

OP posts:

TurkeyBurgerThing · 24/09/2011 17:58

YANBU. I nearly cry at the thought of my oldest going off to uni. He's 6.

[neurotic]

Chummybud1 · 24/09/2011 18:42

I am sure if the grown up son was fed up of cuddles he would say, I think op should take as many cuddles as he is willing to give.

Dropped my own dd1 off 3 weeks ago and it was hard but not as hard as I thought, he will be fine and you will always be his mum

Ilovedaintynuts · 24/09/2011 18:47

I must be dead inside but I can't wait till my DS goes (in 4 years).
The thought of not having to pick up after him/be a taxi service/continually buying food/clothes fills me with glee.

I love him but will be so happy when he goes.

I was even excited when my DD started pre-school this week.

Yup, I'm dead inside

BeaOnSea · 24/09/2011 19:02

OP - I fully understand where you are coming from as I was in your shoes last year. DS1 actually cried on his last night with us and couldn't give me enough hugs.

Fast forward one year. He has just returned to Uni. He's got loads of mates and is house sharing. He's having the time of his life.

They will be going through an amazing experience and you will soon be sharing the funny anecdotes of what your DS has been up to (well not everything ) with the rest of MN.

DS1 is currently sleeping on a double bed with a single duvet and bed set. Yes - he didn't actually check the size of bed before he bought the stuff.

He has just this minute phoned home because he left his good shoes and has an interview on Wednesday. He said he may "pop back" for them - he is 3hrs away by train !

As for the laundry - he left last year with a box of washing powder tablets. He came back for the summer with more than half the box left. I don't think a lot of laundry was done

Andrewofgg · 24/09/2011 19:02

I am reminded that last weekend I was on a coach to a University city; my immediate neighbours were three final-year students.

There was a delay at a stop on the way and we could hear an angry female voice at the door. Then the driver announced ?Sorry about the delay, ladies and gentlemen, there is a passenger here with excess baggage and he?s going to have to pay. One of the students had slipped out for a cigarette and reported to us that it was a young man, obviously first-year, whose mother had brought him to the coach with three big bags, a new duvet, and one of those folding racks for drying clothes, and the driver wouldn?t have it. The coach was not very busy and there was plenty of space so it was probably mother?s excess attitude rather than son?s excess baggage which was causing the ruckus.

In the end he got on, with a very sheepish look; obviously thoroughly embarrassed.

The students all agreed that he was going to look very, very silly at a Hall with that lot, especially the rack. He?d have no street-cred at all. He was jsut lucky mother did not or could not drive him there!

Hassled · 24/09/2011 19:10

It's bloody hard, there's no doubt about it. It's the end of an era. You just have to keep telling yourself that you've done this parenting lark well. It's a job well done.

I feel like I'm Top Trumping you (and I am), but actually, it's a piece of piss compared to the day they, post-university, completely pack up their room and move in to their own place proper because they have a job in another city. And you know that's it, they won't be back. At least with Uni there are long holidays, etc. And you do get used to it, surprisingly quickly. And you know he'll have a ball.

FabbyChic · 24/09/2011 19:13

My son just asked me if he left his laptop charger here.

Poor sod only has three hours battery life, and if I send special it wont get there until Tuesday.

Do I drive it to him tomorrow? Its a 260 mile round trip.

floosiemcwoosie · 24/09/2011 19:15

fabbychic

just send it, he will be okay until tuesday

BeaOnSea · 24/09/2011 19:16

Perhaps he could see if somebody else has got same type of laptop and borrow a charger?

coccyx · 24/09/2011 19:17

No , he left it. lesson to be learnt there. he is an adult.

Almostfifty · 24/09/2011 21:08

My second son's just gone. I was a good girl, dropped him off, made his bed and made the room comfy, then went, so he could get on with his life.

I had a little weep in the car for about five minutes, then went home. I'm lucky, he's only an hour away, so I'll see quite a bit of him.

Number one son went to college at 16 and I had to wave him off on the train all on his own. That was the worst; I felt he was too young and I should have taken him down, but I couldn't, as my OH was abroad and I couldn't leave my three younger sons alone.

Still, four years later, he's home part-time and still drives me to distraction....

snigger · 24/09/2011 21:12

I feel like making you a tray of brownies and stroking your hair - I came over all inappropriate today while buying DD1 her first bra, so goodness knows what sending her off into the big wicked world is going to feel like.

I think the forced hugs aren't a bad thing, he's unlikely to initiate them, and they'll remind him how much he's broken his poor mother's heart loved, after all.

FabbyChic · 24/09/2011 21:19

My son did not want me to stay, and I never understand why some parents do. They know nobody, they are nervous and scared the sooner they get to meet other students and aren't held back by their parents the better.

Haven't stopped texting and have run him about 10 times, it goes straight to furking voicemail! The git.

Im only worried he hasn't had any dinner.

Dad2HandC · 24/09/2011 21:39

I dropped my DD1 (and only) off at a pretty grotty hall of residence on her 19th birthday - 7 years ago. Sat in a 6 hour traffic jam on the M1 south going home. Was not a happy Daddy at all - worst day of my life - and that includes the day she had heart surgery. She's through it - including a year abroad as part of her course with a good degree then a few months travelling and now in a proper job.
DS1 still at Uni - 3rd year now - he's more independant - dropped him off in his 1st year to a nice hall close to friends and his GF (didn't last). Miss him lots (still) but didn't worry about him.
I wonder if I'm sexist. Love them equally of course but panicked when DD1 had her drink spiked - but sure no one would spike DS1's drink - or if it would have any affect on him...

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