to a family dispute between DH and MIL that is escalating wildly?
(First post but I have been lurking since birth of 8wo DD)
DH and MIL have always had a somewhat fiery relationship, I put it down to the Mediterranean blood, but now things are getting out of hand. Here is the (long, sorry) latest feud:
I recently gave birth, DD was born at 9.30 am so by the time I was installed in the postnatal ward at 4pm I had been awake for nearly 48hrs. DH had done all the phone calls to family etc and requested that no-one visit until the following day, (I didn't know but seems sensible).
DH left about 5.30pm to sleep. At about 6 ish MIL & FIL turn up on postnatal ward. I was a bit 
but DD was sleeping peacefully (little did I know how rare this would turn out to be!) and I was feeling pretty happy so I just went with it (I usually get along pretty well with ILs). They talked at me for a bit and left about 8 I think.
The following night was absolute hell, DD screamed constantly until 7.30am.
Next day, DH is livid about his parents having visited and decides that his parents are now not allowed to see DD at all as he is soooo pissed off with them and cannot trust them to respect his decisions.
Some of me thinks this is an over-reaction, but some of me is also very annoyed with the Ils. They have a history of belittling DH, treating him like a naughty child (he is 38 ffs). They don't believe he is capable of being a responsible adult. I really think they should have respected his decision, whether or not they agreed with it, but I'm alarmed that we're now faced with a showdown in which the weapon of choice appears to be DD. 
Since then some fairly vitriolic emails have been going back and forth with trivial "sub-arguments" that are muddying the waters (e.g. FIL had a cold so put babies at risk by visiting, but oh, no, FIL actually had hayfever, long and totally irrelevant debate ensues over difference between cold and hayfever). I have tried my hardest to stay out of it because
a) it's not my family
b) I am likely to get over-emotional and say something I regret
c) I think the whole thing is very sad and I just wish everyone would try being nice to each other
But it is getting silly now, with uncles, nephews and all sorts involved (WHY? None of them were there!) and I really feel like going in a banging a few heads together. Also, DH is getting stressed about it and would like me to "show some support". I do fully agree that his decision should have been respected (and am prepared to say so) but TBH I don't like the way he has over-reacted. He is a very black and white person, I am not.
Well done if you got this far.
SO:
Should I stick my oar into the vicious email traffic with my ha'penny worth, or should I just leave them all to it?
(reading that back, it sounds like DH & his family are a bunch of nutters. They may well be)