to feel pissed off with my mum

[iambach]

My mum who is 63 retired last year and has very quickly decided she is this little old fragile lady. She is healthy enough, has the odd ache and pain, who doesn't and smokes. She says smoking is her only pleasure in life, that it is the governments fault that she is an 'addict'. In the past year i have watched my mum become more and more miserable and take on this old lady persona.

She visited us for 4 days and has just left, during this time she walked around with a little blanket round her shoulders with this little old lady face on making unhelpful comments like 'i never know what to bring dd1 as she isn't allowed make up' (dd1 is 4), 'you should feed dd2 up like that, it isn't good for her, i wouldnt even eat that amount at lunch' (dd2 is 3 and was a big baby, still chunky but not over weight and she had a chicken salad sandwich and 3 little conichons on the side)

I am so fed up with how depressing it is to be around her. Everything she says is negative and she never laughs or smiles or takes pleasure in anything, apart from going outside for a fag.

AIBU feeling pissed off with her rather than feeling sympathetic? It is getting harder and harder to spend time with her.

My Nanna got like this after she retired and lost my grandad in quick succession. My brother got her involved in politics. That was over thirty years ago. She became mayor of a large London Borough and it did her the world of good. She chose to go into a home last year, because she was bored. She thinks she's running it now! She's 99 this year, sharp as a pin and always up for a good political row!
Maybe finding your mother an activity, either on her own, or with you, could be an answer.

she sounds a bit depressed, suggest the gp and stand back probably been bossy and controlling all her working life and now has no one except you to do it with so is missing work and has retreated into total victim, poor me mode. tell her she is old before her time and to snap out of it.