Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take DS out of cubs

27 replies

Pebbleonabeach · 23/09/2011 18:08

Just dropped by DS (just turned 8) at cubs meeting in woodland about 5miles from home. When got there 3 cub leaders chatting no cubs to be seen (just lots of shouting in the distance). DS ran off to join them (has never been to woods before and does not anywhere around there). As I was concerned I stayed - cubs running in all directions. Saw DS run off on his own so went after him and called him back. I asked if he had any idea which direction it was back to cub leaders to which he said no. I then took him back nearer the adults and made him stay there until the session started. As no other parents had stayed felt a bit obvious so went back to car. However as I was leaving I saw them all start off into the woods again with 25+ cubs sprinting in opposite directions - too far now to follow so am now a nervous wreck until I (hopefully) collect him later on. I am not even sure the leaders know who is there as they did not take a register. Would IBU to take DS out of cubs or at least only let him go to more controlled sessions? DH says I am being over-protective.

OP posts:
Springyknickersohnovicars · 23/09/2011 18:11

You saw it DH didn't. Follow your instincts.

belledechocchipcookie · 23/09/2011 18:11

I don't think you're being overprotective, they sound incredibly disorganised. Is there another group he can join?

hocuspontas · 23/09/2011 18:12

Until the session starts they wouldn't be responsible for the children. I would expect a register to be taken at the start and rules laid down before they took off. I have been a bit Shock at some of the things the guides have done in the past as well!

slavetofilofax · 23/09/2011 18:15

My ds has done things like this in woodlands with cubs. They always take a register and sign them out at the end. I would talk to whoever is above the session leader and say you're not happy.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/09/2011 18:15

YABU... My cubs love darting off into the little bit of woods behind our scout hut playing wide games and generally charging about. Same at camp. We don't bother hunting them down in the trees and blow a big loud whistle when we want them to come back.

Marshy · 23/09/2011 18:18

Doesn't sound great. Can you speak to the leaders about your concerns? Risk of being labelled over anxious parent, but it would be a shame to remove him from something he enjoys.

That said, my son didn't want to graduate from beavers to cubs as he felt the leaders didn't really take proper charge of the group and all the less well-behaved boys got to run riot, which he really didn't like. He's not an angel himself, but just got fed up with it.

Oakmaiden · 23/09/2011 18:19

I think yabu. What are you worried will happen to them? They really won't get lost....

TeamDamon · 23/09/2011 18:21

You are being a bit precious to be honest. What do you think is going to happen to your DS while playing in the woods? Unless of course you live on the edge of uncharted rainforest...

I am a teacher and don't need to take a register to know which of my kids are there and which aren't, due to having a brain and a memory.

You could take him out of cubs and put him on a nice leash in the back garden? But if your DS has honestly never been to woodland before, you might do better to let him stay in the cubs and learn how to enjoy playing outside in a natural environment.

jade80 · 23/09/2011 18:29

Think you're being unreasonable. I would imagine they have thorough risk assessments and know the area is reasonably safe. Don't limit him by wrapping him up in cotton wool. It's a British wood not a jungle or the outback.

Original poster
Pebbleonabeach · 23/09/2011 18:31

Our house backs onto (different) woodland and he plays in there a lot at the weekend with his sister and us, but he knows his way around and how to get back if he gets seperated. It was more that this is new place, there seemed very little supervision and it will be dark when we have to collect them.

OP posts:
TeamDamon · 23/09/2011 18:33

Sorry - read your 'he has never been to woods before' too literally, it seems!

worraliberty · 23/09/2011 18:34

So am I right in thinking parents dump their children unsupervised before the session starts? Confused

CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/09/2011 18:37

The leaders will set up the game, tell them the rules, maybe get them to capture a flag, lay a track or some other woodland-based challenge and then they'll go off in pairs or in their sixes and do it. Really, you have to trust that the leaders are capable of doing all of that without losing any children or putting them in harm's way.

Upwardandonward · 23/09/2011 18:38

worraliberty , indeed they do (the parents).

OP, "3 cub leaders talking..." before the start of the meeting is usually them briefing themselves about who's doing what, organisation, and anything particular to do with the meeting...usually relatively important.

worraliberty · 23/09/2011 18:40

Well if the parents leave their kids unsupervised, the Cub leaders are entitled to do what they want before the session has started.

Without the parents complaining

maras2 · 23/09/2011 18:40

How about ditching Cubs and sign him up for the paramilatry wing of the Co Op?(Woodcraft).

Mumwithadragontattoo · 23/09/2011 18:44

YANBU to worry but you would be to take him out. It sound real boys own fun for an 8 year old!

Marshy · 23/09/2011 18:50

Hmm - lack of clarity in what's supposed to happen = something will eventually go awry.

Take him somewhere else. YANBU to have concerns. People running stuff have a responsibility to do it properly and to demonstrate that they are. At the very least, the procedure around dropping off isn't clear, which presumably means they can't be entirely sure who they've got

CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/09/2011 18:50

If the OP is so concerned that her DS's experience of cubs is leaving him in mortal danger, she could always volunteer to stay for meetings and help out. The leaders would appreciate it

Marshy · 23/09/2011 18:56

That would be a great idea - hopefully she will then discover that they are in fact being hugely skilled in supervising the activity by having it all under control whilst making it look hands-off and effortless.

That's what me and my team do in our work with vunerable adults. It looks easy and laid back -belies all the thought and organisation involved.

Groovee · 23/09/2011 18:56

In our cub group we have 2 young leaders (who are adventure scouts so 14+) and they would be the ones with the cubs until the leaders bring everything to order. If you aren't happy, I suggest you speak to the Cub leader and voice your concerns. As a guider there is nothing worse than a parent whinging behind your back but not actually bringing their concerns to my attention.

Marshy · 23/09/2011 18:59

vulnerable even

HattiFattner · 23/09/2011 19:12

next time, send him in his cotton wool jacket with his bubble wrap trousers on.

Children love the freedom to run in the woods, they rarely stray too far, and amazingly they rarely get hurt! You send them to (cub) Scouts to do Scouty things - climbing, running, games, caving, kayaking, raft building, and burning things.

Relax.....all leaders are trained in risk assessment - plus we have the most monumental admin to do IF anyone gets hurt, which they rarely do! SO we do make sure that risk assessment has been carried out - we usually insist on being within earshot of leaders.

For example, I run Beavers.....(6-8 years) ....in the last 6 years, we have had 2 injuries, despite being a very active and outdoorsy colony. The injuries:

Child 1: Tripped on path, skinned knee, mum took him to A&E Hmm
Child 2: Got something in his eye in the woods. Dad is a leader and everyone else had gone home safely! Eye flushed on site, but had scratched cornea. Dad was supervising at this point, as the rest of us were supervisng pack up. Hmm

Relax and let him enjoy the illusion of independence!

libelulle · 23/09/2011 19:46

I love the descripti

libelulle · 23/09/2011 19:51

on [sorry, bloody iPhone] of the woodcraft folk as the paramilitary wing of the coop! Genius.

They do sound disorganised but it is just a wood, unlikely they'll come to great harm. Even so might be worth a word if you are unhappy.