to be so angry I may spontaneously combust?

[AtYourCervix]

Fuckingshithead monkey taxbods, payrol and HR

Why? why do NONE of them have the right details?

Why do NONE of their dates match?

Are they not employed and paid to deal with all this shite?

I have spent over an hour going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back again and got NOWHERE.

And I have just written out a good long offensive AIBU swearing at these monkeys who run these large organisations and the fucking laptop battery went fut.

I can actually feel myself smouldering inside.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFUCKINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFUCKINGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGFUCKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHFUCKINGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

1. Taxbods want P60 from 400 years ag.
2. Payrol claim I left employemnt befor april that year. I didn't. I just changed contract.
3. Payrol gave me a P45 not a P60 for that year

Leaving aside the rights & wrongs of whether it should have been a P45 for a change of contract...

So if Payroll think you left before April, do they think you started work again before the end of the tax year via the changed contract? If so they should have also have given you a P60 for that bit (so P45 +P60 = total for year)

In the defence of the payroll monkeys (and I'm not one, I promise), they're probably paid bugger all. And anyone remotely competent will move to somewhere where they're paid more than bugger all.

Hence my father's favourite saying: "if you pay peanuts you get monkeys"!

If you do spontaneously combust you may make MN history.

It IS apparently possible after all, according to today's news.

Oh I SO feel your pain. My wonderful HR department and payroll are so inept they have ignored my previous NHS service when calculating my payment protection (as I am being downgraded in a reorganisation bollocks), and want a P60 or a contract from 14 YEARS ago.

And seem shocked when approaching the HR/Payroll depts of my old NHS trust employers that they are as crap as they are.

And meanwhile my letter to say I accept my new terms and conditions remains unsigned.............

All that will be left are your wellies..It's what happens apparently...

We loved the letter we got from the taxbods, with DS1s PAYE tax code for the Veterinary surgeons he worked at.. he might of popped in with me to pick up worming tablets for the dog a couple of years ago, but that's it Vetwise

Impressed by your Argh.. Here.. have a

Betsy - payrol think i didn't rejoin before end of tax year. HR and I think I did. this is despite them both using the same computer system with my years of employment recorded somewhere in it. And in fac when i rejoined with a permenent contract a couple of years ago they honored my continuous service allowance (holidays etc) so someone somewher must know when and where i worked.

And i havn't even changed trusts - this is all the same place, same trust only different roles and contracts.

Betsy - payrol think i didn't rejoin before end of tax year. HR and I think I did.

So presumably payroll didn't pay you again before hte end of that tax year? So P45 does contain the total for the tax year?

do not get me started on benefits people who cannot get that the people i work with cannot speak on the phone so we need to speak on their behalf but they just do not get it and ask to speak to them

yes it does. but taxbods want aP60 which doesn't exist

I would also like to know what siob means, pretty please?

Sharp Intake Of Breath

yes it does. but taxbods want aP60 which doesn't exist

I would do a letter to tax bods explaining change of contract & no payment in tax year after P45. Payroll are correct that they can't retrospectively "make" a P60 if one was not issued at the time ( as I said before, moot point as to whether P45 was the correct answer for a change of contract, but you are where you are & all that)

That has to be an NHS trust. Not one that I have worked in has ever got my tax, payscale etc right.

I have also been in that happy situation where you suddenly get a bill from HMRC for several thousand pounds - from wrongly underpaid tax 4 years previously plus 4 years interest. My surprise that a PAYE system could make this error (was also given my tax free allowance twice in one year, but also had some mat leave which apparently confused the payroll monkey) was met with equal surprise that I would think they ever get it right.

I was told it's always my responsibility to calculate how much tax I should pay every year and check my slips to make sure I am paying it. So wtf are we employing a payroll dept for?

I have been issued with two NI numbers by incompetents who won't even listen.

When I finally claim my state pension at the age of about 98, I'll wager I won't somehow be eligible for fuck all.

Weirdly, the 2nd NI umber was issued when I was the unwilling prisoner of the NHS.

It's payroll (2 L's), not payrol.

I thought SIOB was Shit On a Brick. Only whilst typing this out have I realised it can't be.

My mat leave is confusing my payroll monkeys

I begged asked the admin where I work if they could give me a vague idea of how much I'm getting paid this month (I work shifts, it's not always the same).

Someone gave me a breakdown and I'm paying 400 quid in tax when I only earn 1400 in a month

This is after they cocked up my maternity pay and decided not to pay me for two weeks of the month last month...