to think that my DS should be able to wear pink without being mistaken for a girl?

[Tigerinmysoup]

My DS is 21 months. We went to a toddler group today and no less than two adults referred to him as being a girl. We've been going to this group for quite a while, so I'm a bit miffed anyway, but it's because he was wearing a pink t-shirt. It has happened before when he's worn it. Yes it's pink, but it has a great big green dinosaur on the front. He was also wearing tracksuit bottoms and boy-shoes.

I don't get it. He is fairly big for his age and although he has blonde curly hair, it's in a boy's style. No-one has ever said that they think he's a girl at any other time than when he's wearing pink. Over the summer he wore a pink tank-top and on several occasions strangers thought he was a girl. How many little girls wear pink tank-tops FFS?

Before anyone asks, no I am not particularly sensitive or bothered about strangers thinking that he's a girl. I just wonder why girls seem to have the monopoly on pink? AIBU to think that it's just another colour and that people are a bit thick if they assume pink=girl?

My DH takes great satisfaction in this as it proves his view that boys 'shouldn't wear pink'.

Nope, DD had a blue pair of dungarees and she was a boy every time she wore it. It was covered in batik style pastel coloured flowers!

at GetAway Well maybe if it had just been the one, I wouldn't have been enough to do an AIBU.

People do make quick assumptions based on many things. They look quickly, they see pink and they think girl.

DC3 used to have longish, curly blonde hair - even though he was head to toe in blue/green/brown he was mistaken regularly for a girl.

Yes, you should be able to dress him in whatever colour you want, but people generally aren't that interested in other peoples children to the extent that they will stand, look, consider and then speak - it's just a reaction for the most part and not meant to offend.

Different story however if, after being informed that he is a boy, they stood and guffawed at the very idea of you dressing him in pink. Did they do that?

Well, if I had been there I would have weighed up all the evidence - hair vs pink vs shoes vs dinosaur, vs rugged good-looks, and made the right choice!

YABU, why put pink on him at all, it's horrible. I don't think I would put it on a girl either.

This happens to my DD (8 months) a lot. I put her in lots of blue things, mainly dresses and she has a blue cardi and so many people mistake her for a boy.

I think pink is over-rated too. Fuschia is nice, but baby pink suits almost no-one. But I'm guessing it was a bright pink.

Also, I wonder if mums of girls are more upset about them being mistaken for boys, whereas MOB are less worried about them being mistaken for girls. I admit this is an assumption on my part, but it makes sense to me because femininity is so stereotyped right from early on in girls (mind you there are those T shirts for boys which say "here comes trouble2 and "boys will be boys")

When I have been in your situation, I have always assumed that people are being nice and just making conversation. Sometimes I corrected them, sometimes I didn't.

I can think of worse crimes than accusing a boy of being a girl.

I love boys in pink, they look gorgeous esp v pale pink shirts... I like men who wear pink too, my DH has a couple of lovely pink work shirts. There's nothing wrong with it, just ignore silly people who insist on being blinkered.

My 3yo DS when asked will always say his favourite colour is pink, old ladies in particular find this extraordinary and look quite uncomfortable. Weirdos.

My 3.10 yo DS is often mistaken for a girl, he has shoulder length wavy hair. Normally I am not overly fussed, but last week may have over-reacted slightly when a man at one of those hair curling stalls in shopping centres asked 'Curls for the princess?' I replied 'No. And the princess is a boy. Not that you've mortally offended me!' And walked off. DS was wearing what you might call sterotypically boys clothes: grey trainers, pinstripe trousers and a lightning mcqueen polo shirt. My DS thought the man was 'silly' and I've come to the conclusion that some people just are stupid!
FWIW my DD used to have a t-shirt with Dorothy the dinosaur on, it was pink!

Princess - actually - you are right, pink does look nice on my DH too. So I take it back

I think it's weird people guessing at all - I always ask to confirm (or avoid saying anything committal), and people have always done that for me

Even when my little boy is in his rather fetching brown jumper with big pink heart on the front :D (picked by his dad..)

My currently in-utero offspring (sex as yet unknown) will probably be dressed in whatever clothes are passed on by friends, whether its a boy or a girl, and whether the clothes involve pink and frills or camouflage teeshirts with tanks on them. (OK, he or she won't be wearing anything with a tank on it.) I plan to bore to death anyone who has an issue with it by lecturing them on gender stereotyping.

I do remember an elderly woman haranguing a friend of mine on the street in Oxford a while back, because her son (aged three or so) was wearing stripy trousers that included a pink stripe along with brown, black, blue and white. She could see he was a boy, and she more or less accused my friend of child abuse for putting her son in clothing she considered 'girlish'. Some people appear to have a staunch belief that the most fleeting contact with a pink item of clothing will make a small boy Turn Gay. [shocked}

But cat64 they are the preserve of boys' clothes, that's the point.

Both times it was said in the context of 'give the ball back to the little girl' or something similar, so I wasn't bothered enough to correct them.

Meh, they all look the same at that age.

My friend had the opposite problem - had her baby girl in bright pink and someone cooed "ahhh, what's his name?"

To be fair the biggest indicator, rightly or wrongly, of gender for a baby who you don'e know is the colour of their clothes. If you put a baby/toddler in pink then you can't really complain if someone thinks the baby is a girl.

Once you get to an age where you can tell the gender just by looking at their features, then real men can wear pink. If the facial feature are recognisable as boy or girl then the colour of the clothes doesn't make a difference but as a toddler baby it is an indicator.

Of course it's OK to put toddlers in pink but it's not ok to then moan if someone assumes the baby/toddler is a girl. It comes under "what do you expect?" IMO.

My SIL dresses her non identical twin girls in pink all the time it really gets up my nose, their whole wardrobe is PINK!

Maybe that's why I hate it with avengence.

You think he looks like a boy, OP, other people obviously don't. When you tell them he's a boy though, that's the end of it isn't it? They don't persist in referring to him as a girl?

I agree with the poster who said that you're stereotypng; girls like dinosaurs too - and Thomas the Tank Engine.

I think it's time that people (of both genders) relaxed about what other people think of what they're children are wearing... it really doesn't matter, and perhaps we should just stop seeking other people's approval for everything.

I never comment on other people's children, it's just not worth it and particularly as some as so androgynous-looking, it's a minefield.

Dinosaurs and trains should not be the preserve of boys. Pink should not be the preserve of girls.

Yours Sincerely,

A. Dinosaur-Loving-Female, who dresses her children in what's clean.

Little kids tend to have unisex bodies and facial shape so things like hair and clothes are the only clues you get as to gender.
I wouldn't worry about it, if you get upset when people think he's a girl on first impressions stop dressing him in pink. You seem to be looking for things to upset you.