I really want to get a job. Just something little, but something where I could feel like I was bringing money into the house, I could have friends at work, I wouldn't have to feel guilty for buying myself a brew in a cafe etc. All the usual stuff.
Thing is, I'm not allowed. Last time I worked (in a call centre) I ended up in hospital and my medical people and family tell me off if I even do too much housework in case it makes me ill. I do various bits of political stuff and writing, but it is all unpaid, and all stuff I could very easily drop with no notice if I felt I was getting ill again or even suddenly became very ill. Same with studying - I am doing a couple of very flexible, light courses, which is really frustrating as I know I could do better.
My illness means that I sometimes lose sight of if I am getting ill, if I am getting ill, if that makes any sense. This is the main reason I am not allowed to work, as I need somebody (ie DH) to keep an eye on whether I am doing an appropriate amount of work and not acting weirdly. He has to do that anyway at home, but I am getting much better now at taking medication, eating regulary and all that stuff and I've not had a really bad day or even a mild hallucination for a good few weeks now.
I know I am excellent at sales and customer service and I have a pretty good CV for somebody who has been off ill so much. Not so many qualifications, but very slowly working towards an OU degree which will hopefully be at a good classification if I keep on, and I know I'm reasonably clever, if that means anything at all.
I'm not even looking for something that uses all my skills though - I just want any job. TBH, it wouldn't even need to pay all that well - because of the benefits I'm on, a part time job wouldn't really leave me that much better off, unless it was amazingly well paid. I'm not too keen on something with really varied income, because of the huge messing about involved with informing benefits people, budgeting etc, but obviously there is always a small aspect of that.
I have done Ann Summers and Usborne (and been really sucessful at both) but they didn't do my health very much good as I got too involved in them.
So, any ideas? I'm even considering volunteering myself for the work focused interviews (I don't need to go to them as I am in the support group of ESA - one of the "lucky" 7%) or trying to find some form of scheme. The thing is though, I have the skills and a good CV - I know there are jobs out there I could get, but I also know that the jobs I could get would most probably make me very ill very quickly, so I'm not sure if the work finding things would be any good. I don't even know if there is a job I could do out there - the benefits people don't seem to think there is, and neither do the medical people. I just feel like I want to be doing something that I can be proud of.