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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

This is not a normal thing to ask, surely?

32 replies

CoralRose · 22/09/2011 16:14

Shopping today and Ds (4mo) was turning on the charm for the benefit of all the lovely old dears (though I would never get out!), all of them pleasant enough, but one asked if he was "on breastmilk". Bit personal? Or am I being oversensitive?

OP posts:

Original poster

CoralRose · 22/09/2011 16:15

*thought, not though!

OP posts:

Reality · 22/09/2011 16:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fanjobanjowanjo · 22/09/2011 16:17

Normal!

Original poster

CoralRose · 22/09/2011 16:18

Do you think? At the time I just answered the question, but thinking back I thought perhaps it was a bit of an invasive question, I wonder what she'd have said if I said no.

OP posts:

ShatnersBassoon · 22/09/2011 16:20

People like to know. God knows why, but they do.

NinkyNonker · 22/09/2011 16:21

Just idle chatter. I'd never ask cause I don't like small talk!

faverolles · 22/09/2011 16:22

Normal thing to ask.
I was asked by a 60ish yo burly butcher if I was breastfeeding DS. We ended up having a conversation about breastfeeding, which was slightly unexpected :o

Ilovedaintynuts · 22/09/2011 16:23

Normal. Although when I had my first DC I had to get used to the question 'are you feeding him yourself?'. I was completely perplexed and answered the first few times 'of course! My DH is at work during the door and we can't afford a nanny!'.

Then the penny dropped...aaaahh....you mean MYSELF.....

lesley33 · 22/09/2011 16:23

Agree they were just looking for something to chat about. I doubt person was at all interested in whether you were breast feeding or not. More likely they were just trying to think of something to say or ask and that popped into their head.

Blu · 22/09/2011 16:23

I would never ask a complete stranger that! But it is an example of how you become sort of public property once pg - people touching your bump, asking intimate qs about the birth etc. It's probably a sign of how people like to be involved with a baby as wider members of the community, which is a good thing, really, but it often made me feel like a 'person fulfilling finction of mother' rather than an individual.

zukiecat · 22/09/2011 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meteorite · 22/09/2011 16:25

I'd find it intrusive. I can't imagine why anyone would want to know. There are lots of other things to make conversation about.

Ephiny · 22/09/2011 16:28

I wouldn't ask that, it's a bit personal and not really any one else's business! Most likely they're just trying to make conversation though, and didn't mean anything by it.

slavetofilofax · 22/09/2011 16:31

Why intrusive?

It's about what your baby is eating, not about your boobs!

startwig1982 · 22/09/2011 16:34

DS is 3.5 months and I'm always being asked if I breastfeed. That and "is he good?" course he's blooming good, he's my lovely boy!! (plus he's been sleeping through since 6 weeks)

gaaagh · 22/09/2011 16:36

Normal. I do find it odd though. but having been asked this years ago when ours were small it seemed to come from people pondering how old they are or how far on, development wise, they are. i suppose it's in the same category of "and is he walking yet?" or something. i wouldn't ever ask it of a stranger though.

ArmageddonOuttahere · 22/09/2011 16:38

The "are you feeding him yourself" question stumped me the first time too, ilovedaintynuts

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 22/09/2011 16:42

I once had a load of old dears marvelling at the size of ds as he chugged away, thought it was quite sweet really.

nickelbabe · 22/09/2011 16:42

thankfully, I had read so many of these comments on here, that when I was first asked "are you planning to feed it yourself?" I knew what they meant (although I had to resist temptation to make a sarcy comment....)

BakeliteBelle · 22/09/2011 16:44

Intrusive. As to a burly old (presumably male) butcher asking about it....wrong and creepy

MollyTheMole · 22/09/2011 16:46

Ive had "are you going to....." followed by the two handed boob gesture

Doesnt bother me, babys gonna get fed either way

aldiwhore · 22/09/2011 16:46

The only comments I ever got from old dears (male and female) were "good for you" type comments, there was one old man who was with his wife (she was making 'awww' sounds who said "You look like you've plenty for me too!!"

II was a little taken aback, but no offence taken, he is of the Benny Hill era... plus no action was required as his wife hit him with her handbag.

lesley33 · 22/09/2011 16:52

I don't think this is about pregnant women being public property - although I agree that is an issue.

tbh I think I have probably asked that question myself when younger! I didn't care about the answer. But its just after asking the babies name and age I start running out of things to say. So tend to ask whatever comes into my head including is he walking yet.

I think it is just about trying to show an interest in a lovely baby.

BakeliteBelle · 22/09/2011 16:59

'there was one old man who was with his wife (she was making 'awww' sounds who said "You look like you've plenty for me too!!"

sorry but how yukky is that?

faverolles · 22/09/2011 16:59

Bakelite - he was lovely actually, not creepy at all :)

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