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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Childminder and seatbelts in car - am i over-reacting? help!

45 replies

ally2006 · 22/09/2011 14:06

Hi ladies hope you can help!

My DS aged 5 goes to a childminder 2 mornings a week who gives him breakfast and takes him to school. 2 of his little mates also go to her and she spoils them rotton, needless to say he loves it! he has been going to her for the whole of Reception and sees her house as a 2nd home!

On Tuesday he came home and told me (starting with a random comment) that they drove to school this morning instead of walking - that's fine - BUT that there were 5 children to take and they all squidged into the car, he and his mate had one seatbelt across the 2 of them, and no booster seats! I asked him about who was there are there were 5 kids altogether. She has a small car which I would say was max 4 passengers (4 passenger seatbelts).

Now I am probably being paranoid but I am not happy with this. It is only a short drive to school BUT surely this is not safe and she shouldn't be doing it? the car is not big enough for that many passengers.

My son thought the whole thing was great and no harm was done, but now I am so worried that this is happening regularly. Also I am friends with one of the other children's Mum but she is a real worrier and if i told her this it would totally freak her out, so haven't said anything but feeling very bad.

I don't think this is illegal but certainly not good practice and not sure what OFSTED would think? - or would be not be bothered?

I did raise it with the childminder this morning but she just looked annoyed and said that sometimes the bigger ones share a seatblet as if that's normal?? What would you do? He loves going there and she is a real motherly type, and lives just round the corner. He is only in year 1 and I was hoping to stay with her for most of primary school if possible. Childminders are hard to come by round here and I would struggle to get a new one.

Am now in a bit of state trying to work out if i am going way over the top about this - and how to tackle this - any advice welcome!

Thanks

OP posts:

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 22/09/2011 17:49

Report to OFSTED definitely and personally I would be looking for alternative childcare. Even if she promises to only transport your child legally and safely in future she has shown such a lack of judgement on something so crucial that I would have no faith in her to keep my child safe in the future.

nailak · 22/09/2011 18:02

talk to her first and tell her it is not on and you and the other parents dont see it as acceptable.

chilipeppers · 22/09/2011 19:48

Never send him there again,find another childminder that doesn't put your childs life at rick!

BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/09/2011 19:51

omfg

not acceptable, at all

Grumpla · 22/09/2011 19:58

She put your child and the other children in serious danger, broke the law, and invalidated her insurance, and then looked annoyed when you raised this with her?????

I'm sorry I would NEVER be able to trust her again. I'd also report her to OFSTED and inform the other parents.

If you don't tell the other parents and she does have an accident - how would you feel if their child were seriously injured as a result?

There are some things you just don't compromise on and being safe in the car is one of them.

pigletmania · 22/09/2011 20:13

Its not that she made a one off mistake, she seems to think that this is ok and the norm, so therefore I would be very reluctant to leave my child in her care again.

WidowWadman · 22/09/2011 20:25

I'd report her.

HSMM · 22/09/2011 20:28

I am a Childminder. I (and other minders I know) will not take on more children than we can fit safely in our cars, with appropriate restraints, car seats, etc.

If she doesn't have enough space in the car, then she either doesn't use the car, or she gives notice to one of the children (their parents).

BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/09/2011 20:55

yy HSMM

rentaroom · 22/09/2011 20:56

I didn't know that eg 6 and 7 year olds have to have a booster seat .

On the website link it doesn't say so either, there is a picture of a very young child on a booster seat but it only talks about having to have restraints ie seat belts, not booster seats. I'm confused.

Sirzy · 22/09/2011 21:06

Rentaroon - they have to have a booster seat until they are 11 or reach a set height (which I cant remeber) the law changed a good few years back now.

As for the childminder, as shocking as what she did was her seeming lack of care about what she did wrong. I would be looking for alternative childcare and reporting to OfSted. As unlikely as it is the consequences of them being involved in a crash aren't worth thinking about.

ThePosieParker · 22/09/2011 21:07

OMG.

babynamesgrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 22/09/2011 21:09

A childminder did that? Dump her

Original poster

ally2006 · 23/09/2011 17:20

Just a quick update. I went to her house today (just me, no kids) and had it out with her. The situation was indeed as DS described i.e. 5 kids and only 4 seatbelts. It has happened twice, but both allegedly "emergencies". Anyhow she did apologise and confirmed that it will NEVER happen again. TBH she looked pretty appalled as she now realises that what she has put at risk i.e. not only my childs safety but her career and livlihood as well. I have contacted the other parents who use her and let them know the score. We have all agreed to keep a close eye on the situation and any whiff that it has happened again and it's a phone call to OFSTED and terminate contract. I am also looking for other childcare options so I have a Plan B. God why why did this have to happen!!
Thanks for all your advice
A x

OP posts:

Springyknickersohnovicars · 23/09/2011 17:26

I thinks that's a very sensible solution, she knows you are onto her know and that the children will tell you. I doubt she'll risk her career again (or the children's safety).

sleepevader · 23/09/2011 17:29

I would be livid.

Exactly what could be such an emergency? A child a little late for school. I would be furious.

slavetofilofax · 23/09/2011 17:32

Sounds like you have done the best you can. She probably won't do it again now that she knows she is being watched over it, and I hope she is thanking her lucky stars that she didn't injure or kill one of those children.

You are being far more forgiving than I would have been, I would have reported her to the police, and OFSTED. She really doesn't deserve to be registed as someone that will provide safe, quality childcare if she can even think that this could be acceptable.

What was the big emergency anyway?

sleepevader · 23/09/2011 17:36

Also how many children goes she think is Safe to transport, I would be asking these questions.

I wouldn't for example transport a child with just a lapbelt. What's the middle seat in her car like? I also hate the small booster seats with no backs.

SexualHarrassmentPandaPop · 23/09/2011 17:38

I'm also interested as to what the 'emergencies' were.
I would concentrate on looking at your other options OP. You should be able trust whoever you are leaving your child with - not have to watch them like a hawk because you fear your childs safety may be at risk.

notsofastmrbond · 23/09/2011 17:41

I would be absolutely horrified.

I wouldn't trust her over anything to be honest.

I saw a guy recently open the boot of his landrover and usher in about 4 young boys then drive off. We used to do that when we were kids in the 80s, but surely most people know not to do that anymore!

Even my dog wear a seatbelt in my car

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