DP works for an airline and goes abroad a lot, usually for 3/4 days at a time. Has a smartphone and a laptop and emails me if he can get some free wifi. He expects me to email every day and tell him what we are up to at home.
I cant phone him because (a) he is often on a different time zone and I might wake him up (b) he doesnt give me the hotel details of where he is staying (c) he wouldnt accept a call to his mobile because of the expense (d) his phone wont be turned on for calls (see below)
Sometimes when he is away, he takes an overnight trip to another part of the country (by bus/train/plane) for sightseeting. Again, I dont have an exact itinerary or details of accommodation. Sometimes he will email me during that trip to send photos, etc.
If he doesnt email me while he is away, I have no way of knowing 100% that he is safe. He does go to some countries where mugging/kidnapping/murder is common, and where they have armed guards to the airport, and where they are told not to leave the hotel. During his stay, he is pretty much on his own as he doesnt really socialise much with the crew and prefers to do his own thing. No one would know if anything had happened to him until he didnt turn up for the flight home.
If he cant get any wifi, then he doesnt email me.
He wont turn on the 3G (on smartphone) abroad in case he gets stung for roaming charges (apparently some friend got charged for stuff even when the roaming was turned off...) So he cant text/call me either, or receive my texts/calls.
I explained that sometimes I do get a tiny bit concerned about him if I dont hear anything, and that I have no way at all of finding out if he is ok. I am not a worrier and he is pretty sensible but there is that little bit of me that cant help but think of the bad stuff that can and does happen to people.
I suggested that he takes his old (non smart)phone and puts his simcard in it and uses it to text me if there is no wifi so I know there is a reason for not hearing from him. I would also then be able to text him if there was anything he needed to know about home/kids/etc. He absolutely would not even consider the idea! It's too fiddly to change the sim, it might get lost, he cant find the charger, texts cost more from abroad, etc. So, putting my mind at rest is not worth 20-30p and a bit of effort??
I am NOT a suspicious, jealous or controlling person but we do have family and shared responsibilities and I do think that he should be prepared to keep in touch when he is not at home, and not criticise me for expressing the slightest concern for his safety. AIBU? (sorry it's so long!)