mother in law and refluux

[Beautifulbabyboy]

I have a beautiful baby boy, and i am writing this to prevent myself from going downstairs and waking my husband up and shouting at him (though for the record he is an amazing husband!).

Anyway, my little one has writhed and strained a lot (70%) of the night in his sleep since he was 2 weeks old - it was dismissed as wind / colic by health visitors and midwives. When asked by the midwives is there any history of reflux in your family, i said no on my part, and asked my mother in law about husband's side of the family, to which i was told "no" - in fact she was very defensive and said there is nothing wrong with my family / genes (not that i was implying a blame game - just trying to find out if there was any more info i could give).

It was silent reflux to start, and so based on family history and lack of vomiting i didn't push as hard with doctors as i would have done (which is now killing me - i think it is the guilt with myself that is making me mad). But it turns out that my husband's younger sister has suffered badly with reflux all her life - to the point of needing an operation on her stomach a few years ago. Yet my mother in law didn't think this important enough to tell me... (this only came to light by me asking lots and lots of questions)

Now I am sat in the kitchen with my beautiful baby boy who can only be calmed near the extractor fan or he is inconsolable, and I am so annoyed that we only started the medication today, instead of 3 weeks ago and prevented him from getting in the pain he is - and the vomiting beginning which is distressing for him and scary for me.

Other than this she is a great mother in law - but the territorial defence of her family medical history has really angered me. As i said the anger is probably fuelled by my guilt at ignoring my instincts, but i needed to rant somewhere to prevent me waking my husband and ranting at him.

Rant over - thanks for listening. x

Ranitidine did the biz with us beautifully but it takes 3-5 days to reach full effectiveness (from memory). Keep the faith! Lots of walks in fresh air a) so the screaming's not so loud without walls to bounce off and b) because fresh air really does seem to help them to get off

Oh and (sorry) the dose is worked out by weight so if it's been working and stops, call the doctor with his new weight for a new dose

My son was prescribed Sma staydown and ranitidine by the hv/gp but the paediatrician said not to bother with the ranitidine as he was only prescribed it around 11 months and they wanted to see if it got better round 12 months ( which it didn't, it was more like 18 months), Sma staydown was a godsend and he was better straight away but after weaning it got worse again and he seems to have an intolerance to orange foods and cows milk for some reason ( he is on cow and gate growing up milk still and is fine on this)

< big breath > MIL may not have made the connection cos back in her day reflux in babies didn't exist.

It was just accepted that some babies were more difficult to feed and settle than others.

The 'disease du jour' back then was appendicitis and lots of kids had unnecessary ops. Today it seems to be reflux. Just saying

Re sleeping: don't put him flat. Tilt the cot by putting a block or books under one end. Reflux babies also benefit from sleeping tilted onto their left side slightly. Can't remember why. The whole stuff about babies skeeping flat is so they don't damage their spines, but sleeping flat but tilted up is ok. To be honest when mine were at their worst they slept in the car seats sometimes. We were DESPERATE. Even now they cry when flat as the acid comes back up their throats and burns.

Drugs: mine are on;
Domperidone (life saver!)
Gaviscon
Omeprazole
Enfamil AR (T2)
Neocate (T1)
Ketotifen
Ipatropium inhaler (T1)

They were on ranitidine but gradually came off this as it didn't make much difference. We're carefully weaning and although we've had no major allergy symptoms lately, T1 hasn't resettled at all and has spent most of the night farting!

I gave up with the sling for a while as mine were so sick it was inthe wash, soaking with vomit more than it was on me. They love their jumperoo and other "upright" stuff - baby bouncers etc as any "tummy time" was like pressing a "vomit now" button.

Feeling your pain BBB, DD3 has severe reflux, the first 8m were hell. She's now almost 17m and still on Omeprazole and Ranitidine. Ranitidine on it's own was never strong enough for her. I was a nervous wreck, frequently bursting into tears at my inability to soothe my own baby. It's a normal reaction so don't beat yourself up too much, but if my MIL had kept this from me I'd be angry too. Try writing her a letter to explain how you feel.
A particularly cathartic way is to pour out everything first as you actually feel it, but DO NOT SEND that version. Sit on it for a while and feel free that you've let go of the anger, then go back and redraft it in a not quite so acusatory way, but saying that any help with DH's medical family history would be so helpful, and hopefully prevent your darling DS from experiencing any more unecessary pain. You are in no way blaming the family but sometimes these things do run through families, it's just the way life is. Noones fault, just life.
Where abouts in the country are you OP. I have a brand new still in wrapper 30 degree sleep wedge (for use at grandmas, but she never stayed with her in the end) and a used but in great condition Snoozzzz XL sleep wrap for sale. The sleep wedge combined with the correct meds were what got us through the worst of it all. Happy to post if you were interested, wanted £30 for the lot, will include postage for that for you, or can collect if you're nearby.

We used an Amby Natures Nest for DS was brilliant for him.

Forgot to say, definitely ask to try CMP free formula. DD reacted to Nutramigen, her body spotted the extensively hydrolysed CMP molecules, but she was a lot better on Neocate LCP.

Another vote for the Amby. And I took the filler block foam wedge out of the maxi cosi car seat and wedged them with that sometimes too.

Thanks for all the support - little boy has slept most of the day - i think exhausted from last night. His upright rocking chair seems to be the answer, but when I say slept I mean sleep combined with writhing and screwing his little face up red. I can just about cope with his discomfort during the day - but the night is just so horrid.

Thanks paranoid (i like your name!) for the offer of the sleep wedge - little boy is in his cot which is raised one end which I am told has the same effect as a sleep wedge, so will wait and see what the consultant says on Tuesday until i change his sleeping again (poor boy has no consistency in his life as he we are constantly try new things to make him comfortable) Except I must say for bath, bottle, bed. That combination does seem to soothe him for the first part of the evening.

Hope things are better today x

BBB - has the tongue tie been released? Or if released has it been checked recently to see if the tie has reappeared?

Tongue tie has been lined to reflux - lots of info on both here and here.

DD1 had reflux and I was patted on the head and told 'all babies posset'. Not enough that they start to lose weight and certainly not enough that all their ribs can be seen! She's 5 now and the size of a 6y/o+ and very healthy, grew out of it at about 1 but had speech issues and now I am suspicious that she has a TT (she has a very high bubble palate) all along but there was no info on that 5 years ago. Certainly none linking TT & reflux...

Hope you have luck with the meds and you manage to restrain yourself from doing your MIL a mischief I might not have been able too!

As finally says, reflux is a relatively new condition... well it probably ISNT, but it is certainly something that was never a big issue 20+ years ago. So your MIL may be genuinely unaware of its existence.

A couple of things which I found useful were a reflux support site called little refluxers and a book, specifically the reflux chapter of The Sensational Baby Sleep Plan by Alison Scott-Wright.

Also my HV showed me a hold/carry which helped here. It is a one armed hold and your thumb and forefinger are circling the upper thigh. I found it useful as it meant I was more mobile.

Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel (although I fully appreciate that it is grim being stuck in the tunnel).

It WILL pass.

Nobody could accuse me of being pfb. DD1 was hospitalised as her weight dropped so low with reflux.

However, it seems that I can be precious 4th born. DS2 (10wks) has reflux but as he's not losing weight yet everyone keeps saying 'it's just a phase - you know it will get better'. Which of course it will, but he is in excruciating pain and I'm losing the plot

FWIW, today I changed ds onto Aptamil (slight improvement) and then this evening I started using Dr Browns bottles (quite a large improvement).

This is after trying gaviscon (full dose = limited sick, limited poo; 1/2 dose = more sick, limited poo) and ranitidine (less acid but lots and lots of sick = distressed baby as it still comes down his nose and chokes him).

We have a paed appt next Friday but I am staggered at the change in him with NO drugs and a simple change of formula and bottles.

With DD1 we were advised to start weaning early which helped a bit and by 7/9 months it had virtually disappeared and she was drugfree soon after. She was diagnosed at 8wks and painfree by 12wks when the drugs were finally adjusted to suit.

I second the suggestion to join us on the reflux thread. There's a lot of ranting, understanding and hand holding going on over there.

Hi. You won't be so interested in this now but, if it does persist as DS gets older, try probiotics before panicking. I get bad reflux attacks (or did) as part of my crappy, multi-symptom condition. Didn't want to further unbalance my system with lashings of antacid, so did a lot of reading and ended up paying an American specialist for some advice - which was simply to take a good daily probiotic. It works. I've passed this on to fellow sufferers in RL, with good results in every case :)

hello, I am back. I took over from hubby at 3am (we are working shifts so we can cope) I have had a massive coffee, a "sleeping" baby on my chest and my laptop on my knees. Should we continue this chat in the reflux section as my anger at MIL has dissapated and as one posted said write a carthatic letter, and I pretty much I feel like this what this is what I did here. However, as I am new to motherhood and mumsnet I am not sure what the ettiquette is. Do I just start typing in the reflux thread which has like 1000 posts or do I start a new one?

Thanks for all the advice. We now have an appointment with a consultant on Tuesday at Great Ormonde Street, so fingers crossed he can sort the meds. My BBB has been on ranitidine close to 48 hours and the amount of sick has escalated so it is nice to know buttonmoon that that is "normal" We currently use aptimil milk and were told Dr Brown's bottles were good, but having tried tommie tippie anti collic bottles I didn't know if it was a gimic, which made no difference. But given you are about the 3rd person to say Dr Browns made a difference, that will be a trip to mothercare tomorrow morning.

I have also just been on amazon, the sleep baby plan is winging its way to me.

Am off to the reflux pages. When he is sleeping on me like now, and doing his little breathing noises I feel so content, then he will make a gutteral cry and arch his back and my heart breaks.

The arching is SO awful, isn't it? Poor baby! My T1 would arch so badly in the early days he bruised my arm as I held him!
Just start posting on the reflux thread, thinking of you x

BBB, you've probably read it now on the Refluyx thread but ranitidine won't stop the sick, it will just help to neutralise some of the acid. The only thing that has an effect on the amount of sick is either (not IMHO though) Gaviscon, which forms a layer at the top of the stomach to try and prevent escape. Or domperidone, which speeds up motility and gastric emptying
DD was on Domperidone from 6-9m till she naturally stopped throwing up so much. She still has acid problems and is on Omeprazole and Ranitidine at almost 17m.

why are you blaming your mil, rather than your dh??
you do not have a right to nose into other people's medical history you know.I think your mil would have had to run it by her daughter first.

Sorry you're going through this BBB, our DD has/had silent reflux from a couple of weeks old, and it took us until 7 weeks to get a diagnosis, and about 10 weeks before we got the right treatment, so you see, you've managed to get into the system sooner which can only be a good thing. DD ended up being happy on just ranitidine (tried domperidone too but it made her uncomfortable).

Two things I would add to the very useful help above:

1 - keep pushing to get the right combination of meds, and even when you find it, keep monitoring it really closely, as lots of them are very weight sensitive, and you need to know how/when to up doses as necessary to avoid breakthrough. Don't be scared to make a nuisance of yourself to get what your boy needs.

2 - second the person who mentioned the littlerefluxers website. It's great and lots of real experts on there. Try not to be alarmed tho at the people with 2 and 3 yr olds still with reflux, they are a small minority as obviously those that get better stop posting, and those that don't get better, become more and more expert in managing it. Most babies are starting to get better by about 6 months, and I think I read somewhere that over 90% are rid of it by 1 yr. I know that seems ages away now, but it happens gradually, and with the right meds, you will see an improvement.

FYI, I was out of my mind with it at 5-10 weeks, by 16 weeks we were settled on meds and 'managing', started weaning at 5 months which made an enormous difference to DD, and at 7 months I am starting to slowly reduce meds to see if we can wean her off. So you see, it doesn't last forever, and your baby won't remember a thing.

D

Nice one, spiderpig8.

My MIL is like this. Not only was there NO family history of anything in her family but as her DILs, SIL and I find that any problems are assumed by her to come from OUR sides of the family! SIL remembers a conversation between her Mum and MIL which generally went:
MIL: BIL never did that as a baby
SIL's Mum: Oh SIL never did that either.
repeated about 10 times!
Tbh, regardless of family history, shouldn't the docs have treated your ds' symptoms anyway?

My DS had awful reflux too - on ranitadine, domperidone and antacids - but he did thankfully sleep at night - because we too had an AMBY nest - it was a godsend - I really recommend them for reflux - my friend's son had to sleep in the carseat at night, it was the only way to prop him up!

DS now 17 had reflux he was put on a specialist feed mix nestargel had to cook in the pan worked well for him.