Went to babysit a friends 9 yr old who was home pulling sickie, so that she, the mum, could go for doc appt.
When she came back she suggested my dd stay all afternoon to play with her dd.
I agreed. Although, to be honest, I have been declining sleepovers etc, as there have been a few things I feel we're not on a level with as parents.
I went home, my house is opposite. Had the window open and after an hour I saw her, the mum, go off on her bike!!
I sent her sms to say I didn't like it that she'd left dd alone with her dd in the house and that I would go back to get her.
I took dd out of there, after asking her dd if she thought this was normal, which she thought it was.
On my way out, the mum was standing there, she must have come straight back after reading my sms, although she denied receiving it.
She asked what the problem was. I told her that was not the deal. I said if I leave dd with her then I expect her to supervise at all times. I also said she could have phoned me if she wanted to go out and I would have come back.
Then I went on to say that her dd is a child and that she should not expect her to be an adult as that is not fair on her. I know she's quite grown up, but none the less, she does not have the experience to act fast enough, should dd be heading towards danger, unlike most adults. God forbid, there are even many parents that don't even have that ability!
She said casually that she thought it was no problem and that I would see it that way too.
I was fuming and shaking with upset. I spoke my mind but I didnt shout or swear, I was just firm.
I since sent her an sms saying that we obviously see things differently but that I don't want a spolit friendship.
I think this has proved what I knew already - that we don't share the same values or principles when it comes to our kids. I wouldn't want to try and trust her again as there have been enough warning signs in the past. But I also don't want us to be at a distance as we live opposite and dd likes them too, so it would be too sad.
Is it just me who feels this is totally selfish and irresponsible behaviour of her to risk my childs safety like that? Let alone her own child??
I would really like to have feedback on this as I think it is a big topic.
Thanks!!