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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to worry about allowing my teenage girl to a music festival?

44 replies

Popster123 · 20/09/2011 19:41

My daughter who is sensible, wants to go to a music festival (Reading) for a 3 day weekend next summer when she will be 16. She would be camping with 2 school friends (also girls). I am convinced there will be all sorts of things she could handle, but what about difficult things, such as drunk/high men etc - she keeps saying it is safe and there are kids there. Does anyone know about Reading?

OP posts:
WhiteTrash · 20/09/2011 19:42

I went to my first reading festival when I was 15. Dont worry she will be absolutely fine. And she will have the time of her life.

MangoMonster · 20/09/2011 19:46

I haven't been to reading but many other festivals and if you think she can handle it, then she'll be fine. She is 16, although I can understand your concerns if you've never been.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 20/09/2011 19:50

Most festivals are hedonistic and Reading is no exception. DH worked there this year and has told me some gross stories. BUT... as a seasoned festival goer, performer's wife and mum who takes her DCs along I have to say if your daughter's sensible she'll be OK. It will be all about her choices, not so much those of others. If she's not the type to go on a three day bender and end up dehydrated in the back of an ambulance then that probably won't suddenly happen at Reading.

The very crowded tents/moshpits are not for the fainthearted or inexperienced but if she's sensible she'll know to avoid the lively parts. Could she just choose one day once the line up is out and get a day pass?

NormanTebbit · 20/09/2011 19:54

I started working behind the bar at festivals across the country age 16Blush

Festivals are a reasonably safe environment compared to say attending illegal all-nighters or trying to get home from a club in the early hours.

The police/ medics/ stewards are there and the vast majority of kids just have a wild andbrilliant time.

It's what makes memories. I would let her go.

MissBetsyTrotwood · 20/09/2011 19:54

Oh, and there was a festival support thread this year for parents whose DCs were there. Just so you know what you might expect Grin .

MissBetsyTrotwood · 20/09/2011 19:55

Agreed, NormanTebbit . I think most festivals are safer than the average high street at 11pm on a Friday night.

AKMD · 20/09/2011 19:58

I went to Reading when I was 16 not all that long ago and had a great time. There was no trouble and I would say that if she is going with 2 equally sensible female friends she will be fine. How is she planning to get there?

michelleseashell · 20/09/2011 20:14

I first went to Reading at 17. If you say she's sensible and with friends then she will be fine. She must be careful of theft and rain though so don't let her take anything expensive or irreplacable.

northernrock · 20/09/2011 20:16

I went at 16. Bloody Hell. I wouldnt let her!

troisgarcons · 20/09/2011 20:18

If you look hard enough, you can worry about anything.

I wasnt too happy when my now 15yo started night clubbing at 12. He soon grew out of it.

(that would be the clubs that did 1/2 term 14-17 yo diet coke, finish at 11pm sort of nights with parents on a rota)

vj32 · 20/09/2011 20:23

I went to Reading a few years ago on a day ticket - I hate camping so not the best to judge, but I would never go again. Mostly because all the toilets were broken and just disgusting by half way through the second day. V festival in Chelmsford much nicer - or at least much cleaner!!

There are some nice day festivals in London that are much cheaper, easier to get tickets for, cleaner etc. They don't have so many big name bands though. But DH went to the Ben and Jerry's festival in Clapham and got free ice-cream all day!! Don't really understand why anyone would go anywhere else.... Wink

funkybuddah · 20/09/2011 20:32

Reading is an amazing festival and rather small compared with others. Plus the security there is good , a go ok d presence etc.

I first went at 15 and have been to reading 9 times now. I have taken my son for the past 2 years (hes nearly 10) .

Its nerve wracking but she will have a great time. Its right near the town so not in the middle of nowhere etc.

For a first festival reading is the best.

funkybuddah · 20/09/2011 20:34

It should say a good presence in the first part. Stupid phone

SwingingBetty · 20/09/2011 20:39

15 year old girl raped at isle of wight festival last week :(

MangoMonster · 20/09/2011 20:46

People can get attacked walking down the street.

heleninahandcart · 20/09/2011 21:35

I went, aged 14 Looking back I have no idea how I got away with that Shock

Reading these days is full of teens, you are considered old at 25. I would arm her with the essentials, fully charged phone, friends phone numbers etc, grit my teeth and let her go.

IloveJudgeJudy · 20/09/2011 21:54

My 16 yo DS went for the first time this year. He went with a couple of boys that I had met and knew. While he was there he met up with loads of others from our area that he knew and who I'd heard of. He had a great time. I don't need to know all the details! He, who normally would have 1 if not 2 showers a day, did not wash at all apart from his face, while he was there. His tent was done over, but nothing was taken as they had nothing of value in there. He wore a money belt all the time and didn't take it off, neither did his friend. He took a very old phone, too. He did hear of others having their wallets and phones taken.

I think if you know the people your DD is going with she'll have a great time. It's pretty good value. DS went on Thursday and came home Monday. He bought his ticket from e-bay and paid £150 instead of £190-ish. He's never taking his wristband off (he says).

Original poster
Popster123 · 21/09/2011 14:39

Thank you all so much for your comments! It gives me much food for thought and they are really helpful. I confess I am leaning towards making her wait a year or two, mainly because I dont really trust the girls she is going with and peer pressure is tough!

OP posts:
backwardpossom · 21/09/2011 14:45

YANBU to worry, but really I think you should let her go and she'll have the time of her life and will love you forever Grin

ViviPru · 21/09/2011 14:48

I think you'd get a better outcome if you really focus on developing the bond of trust and respect between you between now and next year rather than make her wait a year or two (not suggesting you don't already have one)

Like another poster, I started working in hospitality at festivals when I was 16. And for some insane reason, I was allowed to go and see Guns and Roses at Milton Keynes bowl when I was 13 with two other 13 y/o pals. It was incredible, and I remember feeling like I was about the youngest person there. Some of the things I witnessed were an eyeopener to say the least. But I took care and stayed well out of trouble as I had (and continue to have) a really deep bond of trust with my Mum. I'd never do anything to let her down. But I'd have been pretty narked had she made me wait until I was 18...

ViviPru · 21/09/2011 14:49

I can't believe I just wrote "Guns and Roses". What's happened to me?!

Tanif · 21/09/2011 14:58

What kind of peer pressure are you expecting her to bow to at a festival that she wouldn't bow to at home? Surely she's more likely to do silly things in a place where she feels secure and comfortable.

I went to Leeds festival for the first time when I was 16, went with a group of mates and had an amazing time. I didn't see any amazingly dodgy dealings, the security was too tight for people to be doing coke off each others naked bodies, it was mostly a bit of drinking.

ScarletLady01 · 21/09/2011 15:29

I went to Reading in '99 when I was 15 and had a BRILLIANT time. I went with a big group of people, it was awesome. My parents took us to lots of festivals growing up so I did have an idea of what it would be like. If you trust that she's sensible then I'd let her go. Of course you'll worry though, that's only natural. Make sure she's got a phone etc emergency money. Tell her not to leave any money in her tent and don't take anything valuable. She'll be fine.

auberj · 25/06/2012 20:32

there's all sorts of cheap stuff you can buy now so that you don't have to worry about losing expensive things at festivals. cheap tents from argos and charity shop clothes. you can also get festival kits (son just bought one from festivalk.it) so you dont have to take a huge pack of wipes or tissues etc

lovebunny · 25/06/2012 20:41

reading is the nicest of the festivals but if you want to be sure she's as safe as possible, you have to go too. do they have pods now? book a couple of pods and take a holiday with a soundtrack. i wish i could go to reading. i wish there were bands i wanted to see there!

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