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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - has my Dad utterly lost the plot?

18 replies

gherkins · 20/09/2011 17:43

My Mum and Dad just sent me some photos of a family holiday we just had together (them, me and DH, and DD who is 7 months old). It's one of those online ones which you can view as a slideshow.

My Dad (I know it's him and not my Mum from the way it's written) has captioned each photograph, writing as if my DD has written them. "Here I am with Mum at the beach" and "Me on a walk with Grandma and Grandpa - looks like the old folks are getting tired here!". You get the gist.

There are some photos of DD in the pool. There of one of DD and me, where she is wearing her full body suit for sun protection, and DD is not looking very impressed. Underneath my Dad has written "urgh, here I am stuck in a boilersuit while Mum gets to wear a bikini - not fair!" So far, so drole.

The next 3 photos are of DD in just her swim nappy. Her chest is visible rising out of the water.

In the first one, he writes "Here's me with Grandma - luckily she saw sense and let me strip off!"

The second one is him and DD. "Granddad even let me go topless!" Hmm

The final one is of both my parents with DD and says "Here we are posing for Playboy magazine - Miss August, Playgirl of the Month!"

Shock

Now. I KNOW he meant nothing weird or pervy or strange by this. He was trying to be funny. I am 100 per cent sure of that.

But don't you think that is an extremely strange thing for a grandfather to write about his granddaughter? I mean, of all the things to write.. WTF???

To make matters worse, I suspect this online album - with the inane comments - will also be sent (or already has been sent) to wider members of the family, aunts etc.

This is more of a WWYD rather than an AIBU, but how should I handle this? What, if anything, should I say to him?

OP posts:
TheOriginalFAB · 20/09/2011 17:47

If it was my FIL who had done this (I don't have a dad) I would have told him I didn't like it and he needs to take it off.

He was just trying to be funny, I expect. Are you unconfident in your choice of beachwear for your DD or just annoyed at him writing things like that in relation to your baby?

soggy14 · 20/09/2011 17:49

sounds like he is a typical product of his generation - just tell him that you do not like it and ask him to take it off. I don't think that it is odd in a man of that sort of age though

worraliberty · 20/09/2011 17:49

Sounds fine to me

Not really my sort of humour (apart from the boiler suit lol) but it's obviously his.

ThePumpkinKing · 20/09/2011 17:50

Oh, yuck.

Do you think he might have been drinking, and lost all reason as time went on and he was captioning the photos?

Just email him and point out that the caption is inappropriate - or call him and ask what on earth he was thinking Grin.

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 20/09/2011 17:51

I'd ask him to take that comment off. He was trying to be funny. It's the sort of inane thing my dad would say, but it's in bad taste.

Other than this - are you worried about your dad (how old is he?)

LaurieFairyCake · 20/09/2011 17:52

I think it's his weird sense of humour. I think he would be horrified if he knew what people think of sexualised language now. To him playboy may just be cheeky nudey poses but not really 'sexual' if you see what I mean.

Yes, it's inappropriate, but it's also probably a daft old fools idea of funny. Its the kind of thing my grandfather would have done but he died in 1978 so he would have been really out of touch.

complexnumber · 20/09/2011 17:53

Sounds fine to me as well.

Wouldn't make me laugh, but lots of stuff doesn't

GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 20/09/2011 17:53

I agree Laurie. My DF and FIL both make slightly off-colour remarks about gymnasts and ice-skaters

OneHandFlapping · 20/09/2011 17:54

My dad would be mortified if I told him I didn't like something like this. I'd let it go, because I wouldn't want to upset him over something so trivial. Assuming the photos are private, that is.

rookiemater · 20/09/2011 17:56

I'd have a word with your Mum rather than your Dad, can't believe both of them would be this clueless, get her to see if she can get him to change them, but play it down with don't think that people will think its funny.

Original poster
gherkins · 20/09/2011 17:57

OK then. Thanks ladies. I guess the general consensus is that it's a generation thing. He will have thought he was being funny. Of that I'm certain. Just so bloody TASTELESS!

He is almost 70. Having a lot of ishoos as he ages and does tend to hit the wine rather in the evenings.

I know Playboy maybe means something different to that generation, but I thought his internal 'edit' button might have switched on at some point. Clearly not!

I'm feeling calmer after your comments. I'll just email him and say I don't like the Playboy comments, can he please remove.

OP posts:
GetAwayFromHerYouBitch · 20/09/2011 18:12

gherkins - the edit button will certainly be affected by the booze. The reason I asked his age is that, if there are other ways he's saying or doing inappropriate things, it could be the start of dementia. But that's just something that I'm overly alert too - used to work with people with dementia.

aldiwhore · 20/09/2011 19:36

Benny Hill has a lot to answer for.

On the other hand, it was a more innocent, less scared world (although there were plenty of things wrong with it).

Horrible comments, so YANBU. But that doesn't make your dad weird... just a joke gone a step too far. I'd probably say "Dad you can't say things like that people will think you're a weirdo" at which point Dad would sulk, and then remove the comments because he's the nicest man in the world, with an odd sense of humour and would hate the thought that anyone might think he was weird.

By the way. most of the comments are quite sweetly funny.... except the playboy one!!! That's just yuck lol...

YWBU if you made he feel too bad about this or started crying about it and creating a 'peedo-mergency' but you could give him a friendly lecture about his humour is outdated, its not his fault he's an old sod, and that tinternet land is a whole new world.

NinkyNonker · 20/09/2011 19:51

Harmless. But if it really bothers you tell him gently, make a joke of it.

MangoMonster · 20/09/2011 19:56

I'd be mortified at the last comment and your dd probably will be too at some point. Tell him you don't like it and ask him to delete it. I'm sure it was just humour, but it's not funny.

JIRkids · 20/09/2011 20:32

Ha, ha, just cringy dad humour!!!

redwineformethanks · 20/09/2011 21:48

Sounds like Benny Hill generation of humour to me - very poor taste by modern standards, and I wouldn't like it either, but I think probably meant in fun

slavetofilofax · 20/09/2011 21:54

It is in poor taste, but any other family that have seen will probably think the same and be cringing on your behalf.

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