to not want to feel responsible for my ex's mental health?

[workshy]

split up with ex 18 months ago, we have remained friendly for the sake of the kids although some times firendliness meant refraining from biting his head off

he suffered from severe depression on and off through our entire relationship and his refusal to get treatment is part of the reason we split -I have always felt like I have been walking on egg shells, not wanting to spark a depressive episode (and I know I probably couldn't but did get thrown at me as a justification for his behaviour)

any way, last week I asked him about increasing his child maintainance from erm, nothing to something -this has apparently thrown him into depression again and I keep getting messages from him either saying I'm asking too much (£100 a month for 2 kids) or if I take too long to reply to a message, I get messages saying I'll regret not replying as he is not in a good place

well I'm sorry but I don't want to be made to feel responsible for his depression -it's nothing to do with me! I made a perfectly reasonable request so why do I now feel like crap???

arrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The OP's post has emotional blackmail written all over it to me.

Not from you OP just to be clear but by your ex.

what Springy said
reads like blatant emotional blackmail to me.
If you give in to it then you are (in effect) rewarding his behaviour and he's likely to carry on doing it

I'm ignoring so far but he is supposed to be having the kids (well his parents, he just happens to be there) so need to know where I stand before then

Workshy ....hes not depressed ...hes just a lazy cunt.

Emotional blackmailer and not wanting to pay for his children`s living expenses. £100 a month for 2 children is about £1.60 a day each .

Is £1.60 a lot to keep a roof over a childs head and feed and cloth her/him ?.
It woudn`t even cover a school dinner

workshy I have an ex partner who made a few suicide attempts, very horrible for the kids, you have my sympathy.
I've come to regard him as a rather weak and manipulative person and I dont expect too much from him, I mean if he's not actively doing any damage then I'm happy.
I've tried to focus on being supportive to the kids so that they dont get manipulated by him.
It's very tricky with someone who dangles a suicide threat.

3.5 years of an exP like that.
Some periods he has gor into v serious depression because (acc to him) of me taking him to court over contact money etc

Amazing how much power over his mental health I have ..... Not
Is up to him to seek help to deal with the issues.
So yanbu.
Try to ignore.
Use his ps for contact so dc safe
And csa iif needs be if he earning money he can contribute

Not your problem what his ps think of you either.

What do we tell our children? Bullies thrive on secrecy. Stop keeping this all to yourself, tell his parents, your parents, the CSA, your employers exactly what is happening and it all falls down.
He is a complete shit!

This isn't about depression. This is about him being a controlling tight fucker. Tell the gps. Contact csa. He is relying on you giving into his emotional blackmail. I'm afraid when someone threatened suicide l said go ahead,it'll do me a favour. I said it because I knew they had zero intention & were saying it not as a cry for help but to purely control the situation. If he says he is in a bad place,x I'd be very tempted to tell him so am I.