Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be nearly forty and feel like I'm only just getting started!

27 replies

MenacingDennis · 19/09/2011 12:28

Does anyone else feel like this? I feel like my life is truly coming together, I have a husband who I love, two beautiful kids, a newish career that I really enjoy and hope to do well at. My teens and twenties were not so happy, full of self doubt and uncertainty, doing work that I hated and in the wrong relationships. It's all good now, but sometimes I struggle with the feeling that once you hit your forties the best is sort of behind you. That's rubbish though isn't it? Can the best still be ahead?

OP posts:
Happymm · 19/09/2011 12:30

Bloody hope so :o

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo · 19/09/2011 12:32

Better be! I have 3 children, no career and we've just moved to a new area so no friends either. I'm 40 next year.

Bring it on!

hellymelly · 19/09/2011 12:33

My twenties were rubbish too,I vastly prefer being in my forties (aside from the looming decrepitude).

WhereDidAllThePuffinsGo · 19/09/2011 12:34

Btw, Winston Churchill was 65 when WW2 started.

Original poster
MenacingDennis · 19/09/2011 12:34

Exactly! And I didn't say this in my OP because it's a bit superficial, but I'm also hoping that I can still be attractive (well, to the extent I ever was). Although, I should know that's possible because I see plenty of attractive 40 year olds (and older) all over the place!

OP posts:
Ormirian · 19/09/2011 12:35

I know exactly what you mean! The best can still be ahead if you are prepared to accept that physically things are going to change. I was having a whale of a time until I reached about 43 - then I got hit by various health issues - but my life is better than it ever was. I am much more optimistic generally.

Only downside is that my parents are now really elderly and beginning to go downhill. But that won't be the case for everyone.

Original poster
MenacingDennis · 19/09/2011 12:36

Like that about Winston. Got images of me with grey hair striding around wearing combat gear now ... quite like it although the kids might find it embarrassing.

OP posts:
windatmytail · 19/09/2011 12:37

I'm 39 and started to feel it was all coming together last year, almost exactly the same story as you - not great teens and twenties, worked hard at it through my thirties and now have a lovely DH, two great DC's and a brand new career that I love!
Loving happiness and convinced that I have done all the right things for once :)

Stoirin · 19/09/2011 12:39

at your age you should probably know the difference between AIBU and chat, at the least.

Original poster
MenacingDennis · 19/09/2011 12:46

Oh dear. I don't use Mumsnet that often, so apologies if I've posted in the wrong place. But I'll never too old to be surprised when people are gratuitously unfriendly.

OP posts:
Kladdkaka · 19/09/2011 12:49

I'm nearly 40 (Shock) and only just getting started too. Started a law degree in February and swing between excitement at finally having a direction and despair at the fact that it's all too late and I'll be dead soon.

OliPocket · 19/09/2011 13:03

MenacingDennis - I applaud you for your fabulous comeback and your even more fabulous comeback in your last post Grin

WakeMeUpWhenSeptemberEnds · 19/09/2011 13:12

YANBU (does that make my reply in the wrong place?)

I feel the same way.

LadySybilPussPolham · 19/09/2011 13:26

I like you Dennis Grin

Fatshionista · 19/09/2011 13:30

I hope I do. When I'm 40 my children will be 20 and 18 so I think I'll feel like my life is just getting started just as theirs is. I'll have time to focus on my marriage (hopefully - DP and I are in it for the long haul and getting married next year), my career and myself.

northernrock · 19/09/2011 13:32

Wow Kladdkaka, thats great that you are starting a law degree. And you might not be dead soonGrin
Much better to find what you want to do relatively late on in life-and then do it, rather that saying "coulda shoulda woulda"
I imagine you will be rather like Julianna Margulies in The Good Wife, only possibly with less scary make-up.

Andrewofgg · 19/09/2011 13:37

Oh Kladdkaka very good luck to you. Can you say where (or at least in what country) you are doing the degree without outing yourself?

My late stepfather said that life began when the children left home and the dog died. DBF put down that flame-thrower, he did not say was pts and I'm not saying I agree and in any event he was not serious, he never kept a dog in his life!

thefirstmrsrochester · 19/09/2011 13:39

Grin Dennis
YANBU op

Kladdkaka · 19/09/2011 13:48

Andrew, I'm in Sweden but I'm studying with the Open University with a view to eventually coming home. I would have quite liked to do it here but my Swedish is no way good enough for study at that level. My back up plan is that by the time I complete my course (assuming I haven't died of old age), my Swedish will be fabulous and I can do a 1 year conversion course to Swedish law. Or plan C, buy a Ryanair season ticket.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 19/09/2011 14:02

I hope it gets better because I'm 40 in just under a year and have fuck all to look forward to (apart from DS, and he's growing up and will have left home before I know it - waaaahhh).

Andrewofgg · 19/09/2011 14:33

Kladdkaka If Plan C involves Ryanair Plan D must involve regular baths in rancid molten treacle :o

spiderpig8 · 19/09/2011 15:10

well, the saying 'life begins at 40' must have come from somewhere

weejimmykrankie · 19/09/2011 17:10

Well I'm 38 and I was thinking it was all finally coming together cos I finally have a boyfriend who i can imagine settling down and having DC with. But reading all these posts I now feel like it's happened far, far too late Sad

40notTrendy · 19/09/2011 17:16

It's a funny age. I still can't believe I'm a grown up Grin, but I can't help feeling that I'm running out of time. Life is good, has been good but there's still so much I want to do and achieve and own. What if I run out of time?!!

aldiwhore · 19/09/2011 17:16

OP thanks for posting this, I'm 37 and everything is much better than at 17 or 27... except the career which I hope to rectify by the time 40 comes along.

I enjoyed my youth, too much I think... its not something I regret at all. 40 is going to be great. I don't see it as 'later on in life' I see it as 'ready for it'.

I have no plans to ever retire, I did that at 20.