The bad language of a 3 yr old

[ihatethecold]

In the car park of my local supermarkets , i could hear a child behind me on his scooter,
The mum/ carer askef if he was ok, he replied f**k off !!
I turned and looked at them both and the mum was smiling!!
Not a word was said re his swearing .
Im saddened and shocked by that seemingly normal conversation between them

Worrra - dont feel sorry for my DS - infact it was his nursery key person that also advised me to ignore until he is at an age where he can understand what he has said is wrong. DS calls me by my first name alot, when I correct him he laughs and turns it into a game so it stands to reason that he would do the same with swearing at this stage. Mind you he has only 'swore' about 3 times, usually after hes heard someone else slip up.

Swinging - ignoring is not the same as burying heads in the sand. It all depends on the best way to handle the situation for that particular child, again until they are of an age where they can understand.

And Swinging I assume you are joking about washing a small childs mouth out with soap right?

HOTE
Can you honestly say you would ignore you child if they shouted f**k off in a supermarket carpark. Or any other very public environment?

I probably would ignore it in public, yes, and then we'd chat about it later. Mine is just at an age where she'll do something a few times simply because she can get a reaction. Not swearing, in our case, but just 'innocent naughtiness'.

Alternatively, I'd be so shocked that I'd freeze and smile and think about how to handle it later, since it would be the first time I'd heard that word from her.

And I'm a brilliant parent, so ner.

So the country is in the state is is because some parents ignore a couple of swearing incidents when their children are very young because thats the best way to parent that particular child at that particular stage of their development?

I can't bear it when judgements are made about parents and their children when they see the briefest snapshop of their lives.

It's a pet hate of mine.

You have no context so you can't judge. Not with any accuracy anyway.

My dc went through a stage of saying a particular swear word, I was so embarrassed, but only had myself to blame At frist I ignored, that didn't work, then I explained it was not nice to say, then when it still continued, I resorted to shouting at him very angrily, he cried, and he hasn't said it since. I am very careful what I say in front of him now, but he does understand the concept of not being allowed to say certain words now he is 3, so hopefully won't have to resort to scaring him again Not my finest hour, but it did do the trick.

Blow - sounds just like my DS whos just over 2.5. I am definitely to blame for the "fuffs sake" incident and the other couple of episodes I will blame on DP

Up to now ignoring him has done the trick as he also just doesnt understand he is not allowed to do some things or say certain words (like bloody calling me by my first name ). Will have to play it by ear how I handle it if / when he does swear again, just depends how 'developed' he is by then I guess....

Can you honestly say you would ignore you child if they shouted f**k off in a supermarket carpark. Or any other very public environment?

A three-year old, especially the first time he or she had said it? Well, yes. Because

• if a three year old (as opposed to an older child) is shouting anything in public it's generally a tantrum and I've never known "telling off severely" to have any impact on a tantrum (and goodness knows I've tried that often enough)
• I don't see why the very public environment should come into it, TBH. Some behaviours (running about like a wild thing, climbing on stuff) need to be determined by the environment, but I expect good language from my children at all times whether they are at home or in public. If I allowed my reaction to be swayed by where they were it would be indulging in short-termism so that I could be seen to do Loud Parenting in front of others, rather than actually contributing to the long-term goal of helping to turn them into polite and civilised members of society
• ignoring at that age does actually seem to work, IME. Or at least, has worked for all more minor swearing (and as a 3yo doesn't have a conception of milder and stronger swearing, that's much the same thing). Which makes it a good idea.

A seven year old I would not ignore. Because at that age they are doing it for very different reasons and so it needs a different approach.

A three-year-old who had made a habit of it I also would not ignore. But then as ignoring swearing the first couple of times has always worked for me I've not got into that situation.

DD's only 2 and she's fucking great at swearing.

My 5yo was shocked and saddened when A N Wilson used the word 'bollocks' on the Today programme last Friday.

After stunned silence all round, she said 'X at school told me that's a swear word Mummy. We're not supposed to say it.'

He was not having a tantrum, his mother asked him if he was ok!

Some people encourage their children to swear, my ex p girlfriend has children ranging from 2-7 that all swear, she thinks it's cute and even has Photos of them sticking their fingers up on fb. My 16 year old thinks it's embarrassing , he took the two year old to the park and he spent the time chasing the ducks around shouting "come back you fucking duck" nice!

Moomin

Children who are not taught about when it is inappropriate to use offensive language are massively disadvantaged out there in the real world.

I have heard children being encouraged to swear too.

My DD (2.8) picked up a less appealing phrase from DH when he was in a fit of road rage. We reacted by telling her it wasn't a nice word and she shouldn't say it. Now, every now and then she'll say "XX isn't a nice word is it mummy?" I say "No, so don't say it" and she'll reply "That's right" and smile like she's pleased me for knowing its not a nice word.

I have wondered since should we have just ignored it. She only heard it once and I can't help thinking our reactions when she repeated it made it stick.

Agree with empire I think children who swear are likely to be outcasted by other parents, I know alot of parents who have told their children not to play with a boy at school who swears.

I think with the majority of children you can explain that swearing isn't nice and their are some words they shouldn't use, I don't think it's always a good thing to ignore in the hope they will forget , mine wouldn't forget, they would be much more likely to say the word again a few months down the line. They wouldnt say it again if they were told not too.

I also know someone who actually taught her son to swear when he was just learning to talk at about 2. She thought it was funny to get him to say shit, wanker, etc. I don't think she finds it so funny now that he's 4 and she's having difficulty getting him to stop swearing.

I think children swearing is dreadful. I am not proud of myself as an adult for swearing, but hearing it from a childs mouth is terrible.

I grew up in Lancashire, and swearing AT your parents, as well as in front of them was a big NO.. as you became a teen, and even as an adult.

I found it a big culture shock when I moved down south to London and my mates swore in front of their parents.

When my FIL was effing and blinding in front of my Mum a few days before my wedding (just a general conversation, nothing stressy, it was just his way of talking).. I was absolutely mortified (I was 33!) but my mum was very gracious and just took it in her stride.

My dad died when I was 24, but in those 24 years I never once heard him swear other than "damn" or "bloody"... ever.

Yet when speaking to my ex recently, my dad was a proper foul mouth when in the company of men.. he would just never, ever swear in front of a woman, and certainly not his child.

Historically, it's always been a middle class peculiarity to get so upset about swearing. The lower and upper classes have been at it for centuries unabated.

I very rarely swear, and my DC have never swore as yet. I love language and hope I can teach my DC to use it with enough expression that they can make their point without swearing unless it's the best choice of word to use.

Using language well affords people a significant advantage in life. However, there are times when only a heart-felt FUCK will do and ultimately, it's just words, isn't it.

I once said, "oh shit" when i thought i was alone in the room only to have my 3 yr old materialise next to me and enquire, "Whatchu shittin' 'bout?" Cue confused feelings of pride in her ability to conjugate new verbs and annoyance at having inadvertently taught her language I wouldn't want her to use!