to expect my brothers and sisters to remember my DC's birthdays

[windatmytail]

I'll be as brief as possible

I have 4 sisters and 5 brothers (including halves but not steps - its complicated and not always harmonious) I have, atm, got 5 nieces and nephews. I remember all of their birthdays, normally with a card but the younger ones get presents too.

Last Wednesday DS2 was two and only two of my brothers remembered, the rest didn't call, text, send a card or even email/facebook (I know he is only two but I would have passed the message on :) ) this is not an isolated occurrence; DS1 was 11 some months ago and exactly the same thing happened, he is obviously old enough to notice but too sweet to mention it.

I am livid on my DC's behalf AIBU?

I always used to send cards and presents to my neices and nephews although my dc never received any back. This year I decided not to bother anymore and the aggrieved feelings I used to have are gone.

My DH's brother has only 1 niece and 1 nephew (both ours) and last year DS (11) got a card and a present and DD (5) got nothing, this year DD got nothing once again and DS's birthday is yet to come so we'll see. He has two DS's of his own both grown up and we still send them a card each birthday and maybe a voucher for momentus ones (21 etc) and always bought them gifts when they were younger. I agree with banana it doesn't take much to show that you care especially for the kids!

Sorry I may have sounded bitter - I am! I always send my nieces and nephews cards and presents/ money for older ones. One SIL made a big deal out of it for months when I was late sending her 2 year old a card and a present.

I had just come out of hospital, my FIL was dying and we were trying to see him as much as possible, we had workmen doing essential repairs on the roof on the house and my OH had just been told that they were probably going to be made redundant.

Now my SIL didn't know about all that when she first complained as she never ever asks us anything about herself and instead whenever I talk to her just talks at me and tells me every little thing her DCs have been doing. But for me her ongoing complaining was just another sign of her extreme self centredness.

Jesus, do adults really give a shit about this?

Get a life.

My sister has to remind me when my mother and fathers birthdays are coming up as well as my neice and nephew. Some people are just terrible with remembering dates. Doesn't mean they don't care.

It's difficult to say. My mother completely spaced birthdays for us as well as grandchildren for over a year. Afterwards, she apologised profusely, as she felt horrible about it, but she was recovering from surgery (cancer) and my dad was terminally ill (he recently passed away) and she simply had too much going on and couldn't cope with trying to keep track of other things. And I can't really blame her.

One sibling always says something on facebook, which is fine by me. The other two siblings rather ignore things, but then get annoyed if I don't remember their family birthdays . Family is complicated. I try to remember, but I have a lot going on, and relatives all over the globe, as well as lots and lots of nieces/nephews/close family members - most of which are abroad. That involves buying a card, and going to the post office regularly (something that can get a bit pricey as well as time consuming when it's too frequent). Waiting in post office lines with a 2yo and 5yo is not the most fun either. So I try to send a quick message on FB or an email if I can. But best laid plans, and all that. If we've had a hellish week, sometimes I forget. That, unfortunately, happens.