AIBU (kind of) I feel hopeless

[FrenchRuby]

I love being a mum, I love my kids but I don't want to be a housewife. Everytime one of my friends (that I haven't seen for a while) asks me what I'm up to I have to say 'Nothing much, Im a SAHM' and I get a kind of pitying look from them then have to listen while they talk about how awesome uni is or how much fun they're having at their job or their plans to go around the world.
I want to be a photographer, I've done a few things for people here and there but nothing big. My problem is I have zero confidence in what Im doing, people say my photos are good but I just think it's luck that they've come out ok. I've had people ask me to take photos of their families and stuff and I nearly always say no because I think what if I fuck it up or they don't come out ok?
I want to go to uni to learn it properly and do a photography degree but then I realise I have 3 GCSEs and no A Levels then DH says he is dead set against our youngest (5 months) being put into any sort of childcare until she's at least two and even then we probably couldn't afford it. So then I get really down and think well just forget about it.
And then I think Im hugely selfish and unreasonable because I feel like Im doing nothing with my life when actually I have 2 lovely children.
Sorry for the moan.

ArtyFartyPants that's brilliant - well done you!! :)

Op if you really want to pursue your photography then you will find a way-your dh must support you. I have friends who have no formal qualifications who have just set up a wedding photography business and they have quite a few customers already.
notherdaynotherdollar-you do realise you sound like a right bitter and twisted cow no? Op was asking for advise not someone sneering that she is lucky.

I sent an email to the course director explaining my situation and my goals in life. I received a reply a few days later asking me to come in for a chat and to bring my work. He offered me a place after chatting to me for about 20mins even though I had the feeling he didn't like me and was a bit miserable!

Thankyou Chippin!

Pm'd the people who asked. Do you mean on my profile on here?

There is a photography club here actually I could join that, I'd really enjoy that I think.
We never discussed about me being a SAHM it just kind went that way.

I had a friend who did a foundation studies in art and truely enjoyed it. They are also studied at uni and are more open. I know he had to study all aspects of art before choosing what main area he wanted to persue. He stared off wanting to do sculpture but ended up coming out a graphic designer!

Wow artyfartypants that's so awesome! I wish I had the confidencce to just do that!

*your post about how to applied

The minute you do something for you, you'll stop feeling like things 'just kind of went that way', you'll feel more in control, less down and your self-esteem will go up about ten notches. Tell DH what you're doing, don't ask his opinion. Have a few good answers ready to the 'we can't afford it', 'it'll never work', 'I don't like childcare' stuff. There come points in all our lives where have a choice to do something brave, or do nothing at all.... nothing worse than looking back a few years down the track and thinking 'what if?'

I'm more confident over text, email etc! I was so nervous when I actually got there! He also informed that I'll be the only mature student in that year, so looks like I'm stuck with all the young 'uns! But I'm going to learn and get my degree thats all that matters (plus I don't look 27 so hopefully no one will guess I'm a mature student)

OMG - that was me earlier on this year, untill I contacted the princes trust, started a course in jewellery making in the evenings, got filmed by mumsnet the other week and will launch my first jewellery collection next month.

I also ran my first race this year, made wonderful friends, am part of a craft group...

You CAN do whatever you want in life.

If it helps I write about it all here:
www.Thebutterflyexperience.wordpress.com

Good luck

Technically I'd be a mature student but Im only 23 (even though I feel 40 most days) so I hope I wouldn't stick out too much haha. I really want to go down the uni route, I loved it when I was doing my OU course (I've done two now) I had to go to my local uni to go to lectures and I really enjoyed it.

Butterflyexperience That sounds amazing! Well done!

i agree totally, i used to be one of those working mothers who gave looks out, but now i'm one of the ones who regret not being able to stay at home with my DD.

Hi Frenchruby

You can do a full photography degree with the Open College of the Arts (OCA) link here- it works a bit like the OU but is for fine art / photography / textile art / creative writing.

Distance learning - but you can pay £50 extra to get face to face tuition rather than by post. You work at your own pace rather than as part of a student group (unlike the OU), so much more flexibility around timescales and deadlines. There is an online student forum and the photography courses seem to have to very active students.

You have up to 2 yrs to finish one course (they vary from 40 points at level 1, to 60 points at levels 2 & 3). For comparison a "normal" full time time degree consists of 120 points a year and you need 360 points to get a full degree, 120 at each level.

They have been validated by the university of Bucks, but are just changing to validation by the University of the Creative Arts

oh - and with the changes to OU funding the course prices are going up and the OCA will end up being hugely cheaper (£4,500 for a full degree rather than £27,000) the disadvantage is that OU students will soon be eligible for student loans but the OCA you will still have to pay up front.

I suspect it will suit you perfectly :)

Thanks! I'll have a look at it :)

French Ruby, I've no practical advice, but just wanted to say a huge thank you for posting this. Swap photography for law and I could've written this myself, I'm even the same age as you!

Feeling very inspired by the replies on this thread and will be taking the wise advice and making changes for the better.

CES- 'Life is not a rehearsal' ...This is defiantly my new mantra! Thank you!

Before I had the DC's I taught on the BTEC Foundation in Art and Design at my local art college whilst building up teaching hours for my PGCE. Having done a Foundation myself before my degree and thoroughly enjoyed it and also having had a blast teaching on it I can highly recommend that of you want to do a Photography degree you do a Foundation first. As a mature student you will mainly be assessed on your portfolio and awareness and interest in your subject area. I taught a lot of people who were trying to follow their interests after having had families first etc. The mix of people is usually diverse and the subject areas eclectic at first and then you specialise in the later part of the course. You can then go on to study for a degree, or do an HND/HNC which can be converted into a degree by studying a top up year after that. You can do all these things part time if you wish and may be eligible for funding on all HE courses depending on income. Please don't despair, people from all walks of life can and do find ways of pursuing the subjects they love.

I used to be a wedding and portrait photographer.

Please send me a link, and I will try and help all I can.

I have NO qualifications........

Sent you a link. Thanks for all your advice. Im going to try and take on as many things as I can to build up my portfolio and hopefully apply for next year :D

just to add that the OCA doesn't go on uni terms - you can start whenever you want because you are working at your own pace with a tutor, I started within a week of finding out about it :)