Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU, mother taking sleeping tablets?

58 replies

Sookeh · 18/09/2011 12:51

My mother just admitted that she's been taking 14mg Zopiclone (sleeping) tablets whilst DD (3)has been co sleeping with her when she stays overnight.
I didn't get angry over the phone as I'm grateful she's been helping with her while I've not been well, but it's left me feeling angry. Surely looking after a toddler and taking sleeping aids don't mix if there's no one else in the house?
Am I being unreasonable to be angry about this?

OP posts:
ChristinedePizan · 18/09/2011 18:03

I would be more worried about your mum than your DD tbh. That's double the maximum dose. It's really addictive stuff :(

Birdsgottafly · 18/09/2011 18:05

She isn't a danger to your DD but it sounds as though she needs support. She hasn't told you about her sleeping problems, is there anything else she isn't telling you?

This must have been playing on her mind, you need to see if you can help her.

lou33 · 18/09/2011 18:13

I can understand why someone doesn't like to discuss personal stuff like sleeping issues, but it is worrying that she is taking double the prescribed dose. They can be addictive. Does she understand the risk she is taking? Has her gp noticed that she is going through them twice as fast as she should be?

michelleseashell · 18/09/2011 18:52

I bet what she's doing is taking double doses some nights and half doses other times to even it out. I've done that in the past.

I'd be more worried about some of the side effects of zops; memory loss, sleep walking, irrational behaviour and they're a muscle relaxant.

Original poster
Sookeh · 18/09/2011 19:40

I've just had a heart to heart with her. It seems there is quite a lot going on I wasn't aware of Sad

OP posts:
michelleseashell · 18/09/2011 21:04

I hope you're ok sookeh

Original poster
Sookeh · 18/09/2011 21:08

Thanks Michelle, I think I'm ok.

It turns out she's developed a reliance on alcohol as it calms her to sleep, but when DD is there she doesn't want to drink so takes the tablets instead.

It also turns out my brother has been bullying/abusing her for quite some time.

Everything feels a bit of a mess now Sad

I don't know what to do to help.

OP posts:
DialMforMummy · 18/09/2011 21:14

I am sorry to read this OP.
Sounds like you need to help your mum find professional help and support her along the way. Maybe her GP can help find help too?
Meanwhile I would not leave my daughter at her house overnight.

squeakytoy · 18/09/2011 21:14

:( Why the heck is your stepfather not sorting this out :(

kunahero · 18/09/2011 21:17

I would have a problem letting my dd stay over with anyone who was taking zopiclone especially if they were co sleeping. I fully agree with co-sleeping and have done it from birth with dd but never never NEVER under the influence of even a wine gum.

Original poster
Sookeh · 18/09/2011 21:19

My stepfather, whilst being quite active, is a fair bit older than my mum and couldn't sort out my brother if he wanted to, my brother came home drunk last year and hurt him quite badly apparently :(

My mum defends my brother and his behaviour though, he's recently been living with me but we had to tell him to go, after which point he shoved me about.

I think he's taking it out on her Sad

Yes, I most definitely won't be letting DD stay there overnight for quite some time.

OP posts:
michelleseashell · 18/09/2011 22:25

What a mess, Sookeh. Your poor mum. I agree with the idea about going with her to the GP. Could she come sleep over at your house in future?

Honestly, I would trust her reactions more if she was drunk than on a double dose of zops.

I'm guessing her GP knows about the alcohol and sleeping problems already. I don't think zopiclone wouldn't be the first sleeping tablet the doctor would try.

michelleseashell · 18/09/2011 22:29

Whoops I mean, I'd trust her reactions more on alcohol she's got a tolerance to rather than occasional sleeping tablets.

Original poster
Sookeh · 18/09/2011 22:31

Why do you say Zopiclone wouldn't be the first one prescribed Michelle?

She sees our family GP and I've never liked him or how prescription happy he is with my mum Angry

OP posts:
ssd · 18/09/2011 22:36

your poor mum Sad

RufusTFirefly · 18/09/2011 22:55

Doubling up the dose is very bad news. Zopiclone is addictive and you need more as the habit develops, hence the prescribed dose not working any more. I have to take mine three nights on, four off (have to sleep because of bipolar and risk of going high if I don't). Like other posters I'd be afraid she wouldn't wake in an emergency as well as co-sleeping risks.

I'm also concerned for her if she has got hooked as she'll find it hard to get off them. They are not barbiturates or valium type medications but they act on the same part of the brain as valium does so come with the same set of problems. I hope I'm wrong.

RufusTFirefly · 18/09/2011 22:57

Just read the other posts - God, poor woman! Not much else I can say, really.

squeakytoy · 18/09/2011 23:02

Sookeh, I thought I recognised your name. Your brother was living with you up until at least Tuesday wasnt he?

I would be concerned that your mother let him move into your house, knowing what his behaviour was like? If anything, that could have put your daughter more at risk than the sleeping issue.

Original poster
Sookeh · 18/09/2011 23:20

I know squeaky Sad

I've no idea what to do about though. I'm suffering with crippling PND right now and don't feel like I can be much use to anyone, but I'll do what it takes to help her get well.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 18/09/2011 23:38

I take it that your brother has moved back into your mums then. :(

There isnt much you can do really.. its a shitty situation for your mum, but she shouldnt have allowed him back into the house, she should have called the police. In fact, if he is assaulting her, she should still call the bloody police!! I think you have to put yourself and your child first for the moment.. mainly yourself.. and then once you are better, it will be easier to tackle other peoples problems.

Do you have any other siblings who would be able to do anything to help your mum?

Original poster
Sookeh · 18/09/2011 23:41

I have an older sister but she doesn't have much to do with any of us until she needs to borrow money.

She doesn't want to hear how bad the situation is getting because it "stresses her out".

I'm tired of trying to hold everything together when I feel like I'm about to completely fall apart.

(sorry to sound melodramatic but that's really how it feels Sad)

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 18/09/2011 23:54

Trying to hold everyone else together is not going to help you get any better. You have to take a step back and let them get on with it. They are all adults, and I know it must be very very difficult to do it, but you really do have to, for the sake of your own health. Your children are the ones who need a mum.. and you have to put them first.

it wont be easy, but if you can do it, and get yourself well, you will be in a stronger place to cope with the rest of your family after, but your priority has to be yourself for the moment.. I would bet your husband agrees with that too!

Original poster
Sookeh · 19/09/2011 00:19

Have just read your post to him Squeaky and he's asked me to tell you he agrees with you 100% Grin

DH likes it when mumsnet agrees with him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sookeh · 19/09/2011 00:23

I'm just going to step back but of course, I'll be here if she needs anything.

When it comes to my brother however, DH won't have him in the house so she'll have to visit the children without him if she wants to see them.

I need to be a better and healthier mum for my children, I can't do that when I keep getting involved in my mother and brothers issues. We're struggling as a family as it is without adding to it.

Sorry, just a ramble. I feel so anxious about it all and I've got the weirdest feeling my brother is going to snap soon and do something damaging. There's so much rage in him.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 19/09/2011 00:28

You are likely to snap yourself though at this rate.. and there are two little people who depend on you.

By all means have your mum round to see the children, and definately without him in tow, it will probably be a peaceful respite for your poor mum.

She really does have to seriously consider involving the police, she has a right to not be subjected to violence from another adult in her home, even if it is her son.

Swipe left for the next trending thread