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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To think this is seriously taking the p**s?

42 replies

DevotionAndDesire · 17/09/2011 11:18

This is about a friend of a friend, who i get on with but wouldn't really call a friend, lets call her Lucy.

Last week Lucy asked if i could lend her money to buy her son's uniform, the day before school started.
I said no as I don't lend (or borrow) money to anyone.

Friday is my day off, and yesterday she called me (she was with my friend) and asked for 'tips' on wall papering, which quickly became clear that they wanted me to come and help, which i did, and ended up doing the whole bloody room myself, with no help at all.
She needed to finish 'tidying' up her old house (that she has already moved out of) so that she can get her deposit back, the place was a state and needed a lot of cleaning, DIY and redecorating.
Lucy had nothing at the house, no cleaning supplies or anything, so we went to asda, when we where there she said she didn't have any money (after i had driven us the 15 miles there) Lucy asked if i could buy what we needed and she would pay me back when she got her deposit back on monday. Reluctantly i agreed, she hadn't really given me much of a choice, and she spend £40 on cleaning and DIY things.

Then she called me today asking if i could lend her another £30, promising she would give me it back on wednesday when she got her deposit back (but wait wasn't supposed to be getting it back on monday Hmm)
I said no and made up an excuse.
Then she said "You don't know what its like having to get by on no money, just because you are loaded you think you are better than everyone else."
I told her she was wrong and that i am by no means 'loaded'.
She ranted for a bit about being on benefits and how lucky i am to have such a good job and loads of money, then she told me that she would have to give me the £40 back in bits because "some of us cant afford to just throw away £40 like it is nothing"

Why does she assume that just because i work i have an abundance of spare cash?

I lent her that £40 against my better judgement because it was the only way she was going to get her deposit back on her old house, then i spent my whole day off (and ruined my nails) wallpapering, DIYing and cleaning so that she would get back her deposit. But because i refuse to lend her cash that means that i think i am better than her?

Confused Rant over. =)
OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 13:27

Good Lord, you really have had your hat nailed on there

Chalk it up

You won't get your money back from her and she engineered that little rant at you just so she wouldn't have to

Move on and have nothing more to do with her

btw, I have some tiling that needs doing in my bathroom...I can pay you when I win the Lottery, is that ok ?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 17/09/2011 13:29

You were completely had, I am afraid (not that you need someone else to tell you that!). Stay away from her and as a PP said, chalk the £40 up as a charitable donation.

FetchezLaVache · 17/09/2011 13:32

I agree you with AF that you probably won't see that £40 again... but someone once said that if you lend someone money and never see them again, it was almost certainly worth it.

What a cheeky fucker- she knew you wouldn't lend her any money, so she engineered this devious plan to fleece you of it anyway. Shame on her. :(

Morloth · 17/09/2011 13:35

40 quid is pretty cheap really for such a valuable lesson.

TrillianAstra · 17/09/2011 13:35

YAB a mug.

Why did you spend a whole day wallpapering for someone you don't know very well and don't especially like?

Why not say "got to go now, I have things planned at home"?

AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 13:38

trill sshhh she is coming round to tile my bathroom

don't put her off !

bigfatgypsy · 17/09/2011 13:45

I can't believe she let you take her all the way to asda knowing that she didn't have any money Angry. Cheeky bitch

Original poster
DevotionAndDesire · 17/09/2011 14:08

I was trying to be a nice person, I knew there was no way she was going to get her deposit back the way the house was, the oven and carpets alone would have been cause enough for the landlord to refuse to give her any money back at all.
Her attempt at an arty wall stencil was the reason the living room needed re wallpapering, and the bathroom and the kitchen where just generally a bit grotty.

There was no way she could have sorted the place out without the supplies.

One thing that did make me LOL, when i got there and saw the state of the place and realized that she had no supplies at all, i called my parents to borrow a pasting table and some pasting brushes (i have no idea how they planned to do the wallpapering without them), i asked Lucy and my friend of there was anything else we needed to borrow and Lucy said "oh yes, oven cleaner, bleach...." and started listing off cleaning products, i had to explain to her that she would have to buy them herself because you don't borrow cleaning products.
My friend later told me that she had earlier been to her neighbors and asked to 'borrow oven cleaner, bleach, ...., and been told to 'get lost and buy her own'
She genuinely didn't understand what the problem was.

As i said before she is a naive waster.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/09/2011 14:09

No, she isn't naive

She is pretty clever

Think about it

gillybean2 · 17/09/2011 14:11

Coming across as naive is she? Far far clevered than you realise....

GypsyMoth · 17/09/2011 14:13

Did she say she had no money before you set off?
Did she ask for the lift? Offer petrol money?

magicmummy1 · 17/09/2011 14:25

If your other friend already knew what she was like, why did she allow you to get roped in in the first place? Or is she actually saying one thing to you while egging "Lucy" on to see what she can take you for?

Sorry, but I think you have been had by the both of them. :(

PenguinArmy · 17/09/2011 14:42

some people are bad with money and always have a poor mentality.

We are currently a lot worse off than a few friends I have who are on supplementary benefits, but it's still assumed to be the other way around. Difference mainly being that I budget and plan all the money expenditure, but they seem to fall into a spend it until it's gone and don't plan as think it will all change next month.

cheekeymonkey · 17/09/2011 15:17

Do the SS know she is supplementing her income in this way? I would be inclined to ask this question if she is not forthcoming with your money.
Cheeky scrounging rotten bint!

cheekeymonkey · 17/09/2011 15:24

I don't mean 'SS' do I? Sorry don't know what it's called where you get benefits from - something to do with WORKING for my money!

baguettecut · 17/09/2011 15:25

That's hard on you, she sounds charming. Ditch her, who needs 'friends' like that.

NormaStanleyFletcher · 17/09/2011 15:40

I had someone like this. I felt sorry for her, and did end up lending her 20 quid so she could put a deposit on a fridge (more for her dds sake really). She.never got the fridge, and due to bank cock up I found myself penniless. I asked her for the money back, but she said she didn't have it. So I went to see her and found her in the pub on her fourth pint.

I wrote her a note saying she should contact me when she was prepared to pay me back. Never heard from her again. 20 quid well spent.

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