to be slightly shocked that a child who is 5 yo (socially/ emotionally about 3 yo) should be out alone?

[thecaptaincrocfamily]

Child who lives near us has LD ? ASD and was in my dds class in YR and has specialist teaching support 1:1.
Child has gone off wondering having played with dd1 and dd2 until about 3/4 of an hour ago. Dad came out asking if I had seen him so I said that they had all gone out on the grass outside (I had not previously been asked to look after him btw). My dds were still playing at the front.
Dads response was 'oh well he will come back eventually! We live on an enclosed estate, however, I doubt he has any sense of time or road sense I found this really worrying. AIBU?

I would be worried sick. DS (5.6) is allowed to play outside our house, on a very quiet cul de sac - which often has other kids out play. He's only allowed to go as far as the corner - about 20 feet - in one direction and a lamp post - about 15 feet the other way.

captain, I can understand your concern about this child. You say you are often speaking to school about this issue which is a problem in your community. Letting kids play out is a grey area and it just depends on parents gut instinct and their knowledge of the community. You said you resent being a babysitting service for other peoples kids, and if that' the issue you need to be clear with your dcs friends families. Supernanny had a really good trick once - a flag put up outside the house. Perhaps you could set up something similar. When it's OK to come round, put up the green flag... etc etc.

I personally think of it as flattering when other peoples dcs come to mine, it means they feel comfortable happy and safe.

I remember that episode Good idea mind . It seems there are lots of children who are sent out to play. How do children of 5 know when to come home for meals when most don't tell the time? How do you guide them when they are out of sight? They aren't capable of sorting out their own problems at 5 and still need a peacekeeper, so even if they go out with a friend they may end up alone. I just don't get it

Yes it is nice to know they like coming, perhaps I should make it less appealing so my own dds go elsewhere for a change!

Good grief. I have a child the same age with similar limitations and I don't - I cant - let him out of my sight.

Just glad someone else is [shocked] but obviously not about your ds ouryve. It must be pretty difficult to manage as they get older and school friends are going places independently.

I think generally kids do look after each other. Most kids don't like to play outside on their own, so will go home when everyone else does. In our community the boundaries have kind of naturally shrunk as the kids have learned where they feel safe. The parents of the younger kids have the strictest rules and so play is generally near their homes. I always make sure I ask the kids 'what time do you have to be home' or 'are you allowed to go there'. I never let them go anywhere if it's dark and their parents wouldn't let mine do that either. In the end there is an unwritten agreement that we all take care of them. It goes in phases so that sometimes they are round here every day and other times they are elsewhere. What they like best though, is to play outside, and that works because there are more parents watching when they are out.

Sorry I've rambled on, but it may give you something to compare to.

It's not always boys Desi but it's more common in boys

Desiderata

What a strange comment.

Sing I do agree with you under usual circumstances but this child 'won't always go home when everyone else does' as when mine came in he disappeared! When the dds went back out to play I also went out and thats when I saw the childs dad. I wouldn't allow my 3 yo to go out of sight and she has more sense i.e. doesn't play on the carpark. The second time he had gone to get an ice-cream and you would expect him to go back to the house, but he went off up the hill out of sight on his own iyswim. It equates to a child with a maturity level of 3 going away from home on his own and the parents being oblivious as to where he was

Remember this child has enough special need to have 1:1 supervision at school, which according to many is difficult to obtain, so must be significant and not just mildly below the rest of the class.

OP the child's 1:1 may be for literacy and academic work, as well as communication, so not an indicator of the level of independance that he can have in general life. You cannot label a child that easily.

Speak to the school, they will have a full report and know whether to pass this on elsewhere.

Birds I work with children and families daily and do development assessments. I do know an autistic child when I see one. It is very evident because of his definate lack of eye contact at any time, solitary behaviour i.e. playing alongside rather than with children. Although he likes to be with them he doesn't interact during play at all. There is no two way interaction - he can speak to be understood but parrots phrases which are not quite in the right context.

You should know the exact safeguarding procedure under your LA then, are you not obliged to follow it, even outside of work?

All i am saying is that just because the child is austic or has SN, it doesn't mean he cannot be out on his own, depending on where he is playing, of course.

Perhaps your training has heightened your safeguarding judgements? I know that there are times i can go over the top.

birds I think to some extent you are right about safeguarding senses being heightened. Since I last posted though I know that mum is struggling to keep him within the boundries as I ended up giving her a lift into town a couple of weeks ago and she said she was finding it difficult. I know that school are aware of other concerns so it is all on the radar, which is fine.

OP I am shocked too. IMO it is very young. I would be incredibly worried if I didn't know where my 5 yr old was even with the maturity of a 5 yr old which isnt terribly mature in the first place. And most people think I am incredibly laid back about such issues as independence.