To get the kids to contribute towards their own take-aways?

[FluffyGreenMould79]

The kids have been nagging for a takeaway for ages now. I did say I'd consider it for this week but a take-away for the 3 of us will cost around £10 (I only get noodles and curry for the chinese for £3!).

AIBU to say they can have a take-away tonight if they contribute towards it with their own pocket money? I don't usually make them pay for their own food obviously but this is a luxury that THEY want.

AIBU?

[AbbyAbsinthe]

Well, I suppose comics, sweets, cinema with their friends etc. Not to use as a contribution towards a meal!

If they are actually refusing to eat the food at home, and would rather have a takeaway, then I suppose really they should be paying for it, or eating the stuff from the cupboards though.

[ShirelyKnotSHIRE]

Such an interesting thread! My 11 year old son offered to pay for a delivery pizza a few weeks ago. I didn't take him up on it, but if I couldn't have afforded it and HE wanted to spend his pocket money on that?

[Crosshair]

Yeah I mean to me takeway is a treat. If they dont want to eat the food in the house then its fair enough imo.

[booyhoo]

IMO pocket money is for children to buy things they want. it also teaches them (whether they aware of this or not) that money runs out so choices have to be made about what they would like to spend their money on. that is of course aslong as the parents aren't just buying everything the child wants anyway, which obviously drives home the message tnat they can spend and spend and someone else will always be there to bail them out.

in OP's situation, the children want a takeaway when food has already been provided. it isn't a case of takeaway or no food. it's a case of thanks mum but we fancy takeaway instead. their choice, they should a least go halves with mum.

[MollyTheMole]

@ Kids, or anyone, deserving a takeaway once a week

But.....OP something isnt sitting right with me about getting young kids to pay for their own food, even if it is a treat. Could you compromise and get bog standard noodles, fried rice and curry for you all and then jazz it up with something you have at home? Fry a bit of chicken breath or something?

[MollyTheMole]

Chicken breast not breath, obv.

[CurlyCasper]

If a takeaway is a treat, it certainly should not be offered routinely, else it just becomes an expectation and loses its novelty. I did laugh at the suggestion children have a "right" to a weekly takeaway.

Offering children meal choices? Sorry, but mine will be getting the eat what you are given approach.

OP, I don't think YABU. As others have said, if you have offered the treat, you pay. But if they are begging for it, I don't see the harm in it becoming a life lesson. I get a pay day takeaway, why shouldn't they get a pocket-money day takeaway?

[SnakeOnCrack]

I get endless amusement from Fabby's posts.

£10 is really cheap for a takeaway for 3 by the way! I'm impressed.

[booyhoo]

it's not being charged for things he wants zukie. it's payingfor things he wants. i'm not charging him!! he is paying the shop for the rental of the DVD, the same way he pays for the extra sweets or toys he buys. he has total choice in what he spends his money on. i never ever tell him he must rent a dvd. when dvd night started it was always him picking a dvd from his collection, sometimes he chose to watch xfactor/BGT instead. it has only been as he got older that he wanted to rent dvds out, or sometimes he will get one of the sale dvds from asda with the shopping. it has always been his money to spend as he likes and if a dvd is what he chooses to spend it onthen that's up to him.

i cannot believe i am actualy having to explain this to an adult. are you as outraged by the fact he sometimes buys sweets or toys with his money?

[MollyTheMole]

Zukie I'll have you know that Fried Chicken Breath is a delicacy in this household

[Akandra]

I wouldn't do it if the takeaway was my choice - I would if I was being nagged for one. It will start to teach them some financial responsibility and the earlier you start that the better.

[booyhoo]

well duh!! how could they have bought their own things if you never gave them pocket money?

like i said, i buy him a weeklymagazine, sweets and if there is anything i think he might like. he gets dvs as part of his xmas and birthday presents and if asda hav a few on sale that he hasn't seen, i put them in teh trolley and I pay for them but if he wants something on top of tht then it's his choice whether to get it with his own money or no get it. he'll go through his dvds on saturday and say"i've seen all these, can we go to xtravision?" offwe go, he picks one and pays for it and he reminds me we have t take it back in the morning. i really dont think it's harming him at all. i'll go asfar as to say it's good for him. you dont have to agree.

[Chundle]

Omg a takeaway once a week! No way not in the house! Not good for promoting healthy eating IMO, plus it's expensive once a month maybe and yanbu

[booyhoo]

look at it this way zukie

if i didn't give him pocket money, then it is up to me whether he gets a new dvd on saturday or whether he watches one he already has. now i could decide that i didn't fancy getting him a dvd and got him a story book instead and DS misses out on something he wants.

OR

i could give him weekly pocket money for him to do with as he wants. that means he gets to make his own decision about a new dvd. no-one is making the decision for him about what sort of treat he gets. i remember as a teen always asking for money insteadof gifts as birthday/xmas presents. far better to buy something i want rather than several small things other people felt was a reasonable amount to spend.

[tyler80]

I never realised how utterly deprived my childhood was until I joined mumsnet. I never had a takeaway before I was 17

As to whether the op is being unreasonable, it depends on the context.

we are having spaghetti for tea
can't we have takeaway
well ok, but only if you want to contribute half

Reasonable

can't be bothered to cook so we're having takeaway, you have to contribute half

Unreasonable

[Laquitar]

Fabby you would probably feel pitty for my dcs then. We NEVER have take away. We do what gramercy said, we have supermarket one, not only it is cheaper but cleaner aswell.

OP i think it is a good idea. We do something similar with the holiday's drinks and ice creams-they have to save all year for that and they have their own purses when we go which they manage themselves. Its a luxury, not something basic.

[TotemPole]

FluffyGreenMould79, do your DCs really order a burger as a take away? I don't understand that. When we get a real take away it will be something that I don't cook at home.

We do the supermarket ones now and then. It works out quite reasonable.

[TotemPole]

Children have a right to a take away once a week? That has to be one of the most bizarre things I have ever read.

[ApocalypseCheeseToastie]

The morrisons currys are bloody good as well.

[NestaFiesta]

Yes to what Tyler says.

Also this "kids should have a takeaway once a week" lark. I disagree. We stopped having takeaways when we realised one takeaway a week was costing us £80 a month! It's not a right or an entitlement it's now a pay day or a twice a month treat.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

The word you're looking for OP is 'no'.

"Can we have a takeaway"...
"No"
"Can we have a takeaway if we pay for it"
"No"

Very short word. Really useful.