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AIBU?

To get the kids to contribute towards their own take-aways?

92 replies

FluffyGreenMould79 · 16/09/2011 11:19

The kids have been nagging for a takeaway for ages now. I did say I'd consider it for this week but a take-away for the 3 of us will cost around £10 (I only get noodles and curry for the chinese for £3!).

AIBU to say they can have a take-away tonight if they contribute towards it with their own pocket money? I don't usually make them pay for their own food obviously but this is a luxury that THEY want.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

SuePurblybilt · 16/09/2011 19:31

I don't think DD has ever had a proper take away. Poor deprived child.

FWIW boo, I'm with you on the pocket money thing. I have a similar system with DD and believe it helps her to understand basic budgeting (very basic, obviously), the beginnings of a work ethic and gives her a sense of being able to control something and make her own choices. Works for us

fatlazymummy · 16/09/2011 19:20

My kids must be deprived as well. They very rarely have a take away and if they do it's not bought by me. I can count the number of take aways I have eaten in my whole life on the fingers of one hand [maybe both]. They are a total waste of money IMO. We do eat out now and again and I pay for that. I think Fabbychic has got a point that it is also freedom from having to cook and wash up, so it is worth paying for it in that respect.

LaLaLaLayla · 16/09/2011 18:39

Yes, YABU. Treats are what make life worthwhile. If you genuinely can't afford it, then don't buy it. But if you are just being tight, then I think it's a bit mean to expect the kids to chip in.

tamitots · 16/09/2011 18:35

I think the "rules according to Fabby" would be a great read. I think everyone deserves a treat every now and then.

notcitrus · 16/09/2011 18:32

My parents and my friend's parents I stayed with a lot did this - they'd agree to chip in £3-4 for the takeaway, and we would cook our own rice or noodles to go with it, or could have paid for special fried rice or whatever.
Perfectly reasonable, I think.

Apart from anything else it must have saved me a fortune over the next 20 years, not to mention the reduced fat content!

pilates · 16/09/2011 18:31

YABU at there ages.

GandTiceandaslice · 16/09/2011 18:09

YABU. Treat them!

Bellavita · 16/09/2011 17:51

Yabu.

A takeaway is a treat for everyone, and everyone should be able to chose what they like. If you cannot afford it then don't have one.

If they don't like what is on offer normally, tough! They are old enough to live with that.

zukiecat · 16/09/2011 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

picnicbasketcase · 16/09/2011 17:45

I agree with tyler as well - If they want a takeaway, they should be willing to contribute a little bit towards it. If you paid them pay for the whole lot it would be unreasonable, but putting a bit towards it is fine IMO.

confusedandsilly · 16/09/2011 17:40

I love take aways, in our house they are a massive treat but we only have them once every couple of months in warm days. Now with the colder days coming, we'll have indian or thai or pizza once a month but I wouldnt be happy to have it every week, it wouldnt be a treat anymore and anyway I love cooking !

TotemPole · 16/09/2011 17:20

zukiecat, how many chips did you get for the 60p? Can't have been that many, one portion between 6 of you.

olibeansmummy · 16/09/2011 16:33

Lol I'm not tight they insist :)

zukiecat · 16/09/2011 16:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crosshair · 16/09/2011 16:01

''If you really can't afford it then fair enough, but I'm 25 and my parents still pay for takeaways when we have them at their house!''

Stop being tight. :o

Folu · 16/09/2011 15:52

LOL!!!
Why do ppl get their knickers in a twist over such trivial issues, she's only asking your opinion.

I say get them to do a few chores around the house in return for the takeaway.
This will teach them about responsibilites ...he he he

olibeansmummy · 16/09/2011 15:42

Lol at children should have takeaway once a week! Madness!

If you really can't afford it then fair enough, but I'm 25 and my parents still pay for takeaways when we have them at their house!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 16/09/2011 15:36

The word you're looking for OP is 'no'.

"Can we have a takeaway"...
"No"
"Can we have a takeaway if we pay for it"
"No"

Very short word. Really useful.

NestaFiesta · 16/09/2011 15:05

Yes to what Tyler says.

Also this "kids should have a takeaway once a week" lark. I disagree. We stopped having takeaways when we realised one takeaway a week was costing us £80 a month! It's not a right or an entitlement it's now a pay day or a twice a month treat.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 16/09/2011 14:04

The morrisons currys are bloody good as well.

TotemPole · 16/09/2011 13:27

Children have a right to a take away once a week? That has to be one of the most bizarre things I have ever read.

TotemPole · 16/09/2011 13:26

FluffyGreenMould79, do your DCs really order a burger as a take away? I don't understand that. When we get a real take away it will be something that I don't cook at home.

We do the supermarket ones now and then. It works out quite reasonable.

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Laquitar · 16/09/2011 13:11

Fabby you would probably feel pitty for my dcs then. We NEVER have take away. We do what gramercy said, we have supermarket one, not only it is cheaper but cleaner aswell.

OP i think it is a good idea. We do something similar with the holiday's drinks and ice creams-they have to save all year for that and they have their own purses when we go which they manage themselves. Its a luxury, not something basic.

tyler80 · 16/09/2011 13:09

I never realised how utterly deprived my childhood was until I joined mumsnet. I never had a takeaway before I was 17

As to whether the op is being unreasonable, it depends on the context.

we are having spaghetti for tea
can't we have takeaway
well ok, but only if you want to contribute half

Reasonable

can't be bothered to cook so we're having takeaway, you have to contribute half

Unreasonable

booyhoo · 16/09/2011 13:04

look at it this way zukie

if i didn't give him pocket money, then it is up to me whether he gets a new dvd on saturday or whether he watches one he already has. now i could decide that i didn't fancy getting him a dvd and got him a story book instead and DS misses out on something he wants.

OR

i could give him weekly pocket money for him to do with as he wants. that means he gets to make his own decision about a new dvd. no-one is making the decision for him about what sort of treat he gets. i remember as a teen always asking for money insteadof gifts as birthday/xmas presents. far better to buy something i want rather than several small things other people felt was a reasonable amount to spend.

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