Precis: My wee sister (a paramedic) has had a letter of complaint about noise her 10mth old daughter creates from the neighbours in the flat downstairs - they've said that they're concerned about her health due to the noises she's making during the night. I've drafted a response for my sister but my DW says it's too patronising. I was wondering if anyone had any views?
Dear xxxxxx
Thank you very much for the concern you have shown about my X month old baby daughter xxx ? it really is appreciated and it?s good to know that our neighbours are taking such an interest in the development of our lovely baby.
You raised some interesting points that I would like the opportunity to address in order to allay any fears you may have about her health ? primarily I understand, due to the noises she has made that appear to have caused you disturbance.
Firstly, the issue of my daughter?s health. As I work on the frontline dealing with medical emergencies, fatalities and often tragic accidents I can assure you that should any circumstance arise in which I felt that my daughter was ill, in danger or behaving abnormally I have the skills, experience and connections to senior medical personnel to ensure that my daughter is looked after. As it is, xxxx is undergoing some pretty large physiological changes at the moment. As I?m sure you?re aware (you MUST be if you have children of your own!) at this age a baby is undergoing so many changes ? but those which appear to be causing you consternation are largely based around her ability to eat and poo.
Firstly, the eating: xxxx is growing 20 teeth (10 in the cranium, 10 in the mandible) that at the present time are erupting from her jawbone and cutting through her gums resulting in pain and occasional oral bleeding ? a pretty awful stage in life to go through I?m sure you?ll agree! Unfortunately, despite my extensive medical skills and knowledge I am unaware of any means to regulate this process to ensure it happens only in daytime hours - so please accept my sincere apologies on behalf of xxxx for this inconvenience - and I promise you she?ll only teeth once!
Secondly, the pooing: xxxx, as is the case with the majority of babies her age, is weaning - making the transition from breast milk to solid foods. I?m sure you?ve noticed that if you?ve ever changed your diet (have you tried the Atkins? Phew-ee!), that the results are noticeable, er, downstairs.
I suspect xxxx?s poos are presently a wee bit firm that they seem to be giving her pain and is also probably suffering from constipation. I have changed her diet to include plenty of fruits and vegetables and frequent drinks. There?s a really good web page showing photographs of the different types, consistencies and colour of baby poo and which ones to be concerned about. If you are interested I could send you the link and email you a picture of xxxx?s nappy contents on, say ? a weekly basis? This way you?ll be able to put your mind at rest that everything is ok. Please get back to me if you wish to proceed with this course of action and I?ll make the necessary arrangements!
So to précis, I really am sorry that our daughter is causing you concern. However, as I have tried to elucidate above, xxxx is in good health and the physiological and psychological changes she is undergoing at this period in her life are perfectly normal, albeit noisy. Rest assured, we are aware of the disturbance we are causing and ask for your patience and understanding whilst xxxx goes through this difficult time in her young life.
Kind regards,
xxxx