To ask how you manage your day

[Fairyloo]

Hi,

Just wondering what sort of routine you all have and how you manage your day. I am constantly tired, feeling run down and need some time savers.

6am up, shower dress, take something out freezer or bung some stuff in slow cooker. Sort washing ect

715 get dd up dressed for school.

8.00 leave walk to school drop dd at school get train to work (don't drive)

Arrive at work at 9Am work till 5 get train home and pick dd up from afterschool.

Home about 6 have tea, do homework give dd a bath and before I know it it's 8pm bed for dd and I'm exhausted.

My friends suggest cinema meal out ect and I just couldn't face it.

Am I just lazy? How does your day pan out?

On days off I'm batch cooking, catching up with laundry, swimming ect.

Are you a single parent op? If not what part of the routine is your DP doing? Does Dd have hot meals at school? If not could she? So she would just need something light after school.

I do know that feeling of life being a relentless chore of cleaning, washing, cooking. Could you just get up half an hour later? Early mornings would take their toll on me.

Dd has school dinners but is hungry at tea time and something light wouldn't be enough.

I really need to shower and wash hair daily. Do some people not??

I shower daily but only wash my hair twice a week. Ds only washes his hair once a week. When he was younger he would have a bath every couple of days. Now he's a smelly teenager older he needs a bath/shower every day.

Hi Fairyloo, my day is not dissimilar. I work full-time & am single parent, so there's no one else to pick up the slack. I tend to cook dinner for the following night while my kids are doing their homework & I do chores between 8pm & 10pm (other than hoovering - too noisy), so that weekends are not completely taken up with dull housework. I rarely go out of a week night evening, because I get panic stricken that it will all fall apart if I miss out on doing all the stuff that is required just to keep the whole show on the road. No real suggestions for you, but sounds like you are doing a great job & yes, it is knackering!

amIbeingdaft because I AM being daft :o

In the nicest possible way, that doesn't seem like a huge amount every day. I'd be a little concerned you can't face going to the cinema in the evenings after that. I wonder if your iron levels are okay, or If you're getting enough exercise in the fresh air? Is one of tHe problems that you don't do anything for yourself?

Rationally from my POV the things to consider are:

Biological

• Exercise: this will energise you
• Diet: is it good? Do you have good nutrition etc?
• Blood tests if the above two are okay - perhaps you have low iron (as many have said) or a thyroid or other medical problem that is exhausting you

Environmental

• Stress/mental demand. I am often exhausted after work. I love work but it involves me pushing myself to work at 110% for most of the day and I just want to zone out when I get in. Ask yourself, how much effort does it take me to do the tasks I do, and why? Is any of this avoidable? Are you having to expend a lot of effort doing daily tasks because there is no set routine to make them more automatic etc? Would a plan help?

Finally, ask yourself.. could you be arsed? I don't go out a lot for months on end sometimes.. but it's not because I am too tired, even though sometimes the thought of going out is tiring. It's because, quite frankly, I'd rather stay in and read or bake or sort laundry. That is what I want to do. There is a lot of pressure to be seen to have "a full life" which means chasing about doing a million different things all week. It suits some personalities but not others. Do you want to go to the cinema?

I'm not suggesting that OP shouldn't shower daily, just that it doesn't take an hour and a half!

Grendelsmum? Do you work full time? Walk four miles a day? Or lone parent?

May not found alot to you but is too me.

Amibeingdaft it obviously doesn't take me an hour and half to shower. Half an hour max. The rest is washing and prepping dinner!!

Hi, I would say I survive, not cope for a start.

6:30am get up, shower, sort packed lunches. (sandwiches are bulk made and frozen so just pack go withs)

7am DS up and we breakfast. Chusk DS his clothes and nag him to actually out them on.

7.30am get dressed myself and have a quick runaround tidy!

8am leave to take DS to breakfast club then I go to work.

8.30-3.30 at work.

4pm collect DS and go home.

4.15-5.30pm unpack bags and make sure everything in them for next day, make dinner (I also batch cook and freeze).

6pm homework with DS, shower and put him to bed.

7.30pm COFFEE!!!!!!!

8pm any housework/ tidying. Then studying. (I'm doing OU degree)

10-12pm bed when I'm fit to drop.

AuntiePickleBottom, are you Margaret Thatcher? Five hours sleep?

I appreciate you're feeling very tired, which was why I first thought that you might be lacking in iron or not getting enough daylight, fresh air or exercise. but now you've explained that you're a single parent and that you're walking four miles a day, it's now sounding as though you might be perfectly healthy, but have a lot on your plate. Second thought, do you ever get a chance to switch off and unwind? Perhaps your mind is constantly got to be onto the next problem, and you never get to have a proper rest for mind as well as for body.

I am amazed how early you all get up. We are luckily enough to live 5 mins walk from school (city centre flat). Both boys have school dinners. I shop online and don't iron. I think I have battled as a parent to make life still fun for us adults. I go out once or twice week to film or book group with friends and go out with dh and a paid babysitter about twice a month. We had 10 years before kids and don't want to stop going out now.

But I do admit I'm lucky enough to not have to work full time and work 8.30 to 5.30 two days a week and 8.30 to 2.30 on a third day. Also when I am working I get up at 7.30 and leave at 8 and dh is good enough to sort out the children and take them to school.

Fairyloo, I'd say 2 thing, why do you have to get up at 6am to leave at 8am. What are you doing in that time that you could change? Also if you are feeling awful is it possible to work less hours, even alternate fridays off or something would help you to have some me time. Employers can often be more flexible than you think if you ask.

Fairyloo, could you possibly get up at 0=6.30 rather than 6, try bathing your DD every other night and ease off on the batch cooking? I think Myrighttoadvise's meal suggestions and timings sound excellent, and I do something similar here. Also, I often feel shattered around 8/8.30 when my DS is getting ready for bed. I find 5 or 10 minutes lying on the sofa without any distractions revives me, and then I have enough energy to do whatever I want before bed between 11 and midnight. Take care.

Fairyloo there's lots of previous threads on the lone parent board about how to juggle everything and what to drop. For example try here for some feedback on how to manage full time work as a lone parent www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/933389-Single-parents-who-work-full-time-please-tell-me-how/AllOnOnePage

Finding time for yourself is the hardest thing. But once you start to get run down and tired it's really hard to get back up there because you never have time to catch up or breath and it can all fall apart really quickly. Especially if you have no faily support or help. So try and avoid the burn out in the first place.
Hope you find some useful tips on the above linked thread.

at how organised and routine based everyone is.

Fairy, I'd say if you are at all inclined towards exercise, it can go a LONG way to giving you extra energy (even if you're cutting out sleep to fit it in). I used to get up at 4:30 to fit in a run before my husband left for work (5:30) and I found that you do very quickly get used to it and it puts an extra spring in your step all day and helps you get better quality sleep.
Also my kids are usually happiest with REALLY simple dinners; rice, bacon, peas or chicken, jacket potato and broccoli. It's not necessary to make an actual recipe every night. PB & J with fruit and milk is a perfectly good dinner sometimes too and will give you a little extra time in the evening.

Drink lots of water throughout the day too and focus on veggies rather than carbs.

I think that your thirties/forties is exhausting by default, no matter how you occupy your days.

It's a sandwich, MRTA; Peanut butter and jam (or "jelly"). Lunchtime staple of North American kids until the advent of the "nut ban".

Good point. Running every morning with no previous experience = too much, too soon. You have to work up to it; speed walking can be a good place to start. Even experienced runners shouldn't run every day or you will start to feel flu-y and run down due to overtraining. 4 or 5 days a week is good to aim for.